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The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

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Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".

 

The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.

 

Author: Matthew Steeples

September 19, 2018

Stunt About Town

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt admits to failing to snare a lady he describes as “a true thoroughbred”   A man capable of getting just about whatever he wants, billionaire and art connoisseur James Stunt has finally met his match in a glamourous and well-connected woman.   Sharing his news with The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples, Stunt showed … Continue reading “Stunt About Town”

September 18, 2018

A Bit Of An Enigma

by Matthew Steeples

Bonhams to auction two Enigma machines at their science and technology sale for six figure sums   Tomorrow in Knightsbridge, Bonhams will auction two Heinsoeth Und Rinke enigma enciphering machines at a sale of instruments of science and technology.     Produced in Germany in 1941 and 1943, the two devices offered feature QWERTY keyboards … Continue reading “A Bit Of An Enigma”

September 17, 2018

Bollocks to Brexit

by Matthew Steeples

As Pimlico Plumbers’ founder sticks up a ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sign on his headquarters and Gina Miller launches ‘End The Chaos!’, The Steeple Times predicts Brexit will NOT actually happen   Charlie Mullins, founder of Pimlico Plumbers, is well-known for having supported Gina Miller’s successful Article 50 case at The Supreme Court.   Now, in … Continue reading “Bollocks to Brexit”

September 16, 2018

The Talented Tinker

by Matthew Steeples

Actor Dudley Sutton – AKA ‘Lovejoy’s’ Tinker – passes away aged 85 shortly after giving an interview lauding the NHS   The talented actor and regular at the Chelsea Arts Club, Dudley Sutton sadly died yesterday after a short battle with cancer.   Best known for playing Tinker Dill in the brilliant BBC comedy-drama series … Continue reading “The Talented Tinker”

A Half Million Hut

by Matthew Steeples

Lakeland boat house goes on sale for somewhat ambitious sum of £500,000 in spite of not having any residential accommodation   A boat house on the lake where Donald Campbell piloted Bluebird K7 to 202.32 miles per hour in 1955 has gone on sale for the somewhat punchy sum of £500,000 ($654,000, €562,000 or درهم2.4 … Continue reading “A Half Million Hut”

September 15, 2018

Thanks Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

Alexa Chung transitions from “fashion genius” to “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports; Matthew Steeples asks: “Who’d want to miss such important news?”   Is there nothing that the ‘Queen of Instagram’ (with her 3.1 million followers) Alexa Chung cannot master? This “phenomenon,”  “starlet” and “human” (that’s her very own description … Continue reading “Thanks Alexa”

September 14, 2018

Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness

by Matthew Steeples

Racist Marie-Claire, ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben spotted dashing for sparkling wine as she ‘works the room’ at chi-chi antiques fair   Last night at LAPADA, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting innocents complete with her trademark helmet hairstyle, Marie-Claire ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben perched on a bench at the entrance.   The wannabe Elnett ambassador’s eyes beamed when … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness”

September 13, 2018

Brexit Blues

by Matthew Steeples

Iain Duncan Smith, Peter Bone, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg captured looking exasperated; an exact reflection on their beloved Brexit   Summing up the mood of the nation in relation to the blessed mess that is Brexit, this photograph features the most unlikely foursome.   Looking worn out and exasperated and pictured with a ridiculously … Continue reading “Brexit Blues”

September 12, 2018

An Almighty Allsopp

by Matthew Steeples

Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part?   On Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show on Monday, one of the panel, The Hon. Kirstie Allsopp, shared that she’d smashed up her children’s iPads because they weren’t using them responsibly. … Continue reading “An Almighty Allsopp”

September 10, 2018

A Rental Ruin

by Matthew Steeples

Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler”   Other than the legendary Roy Brooks, the only honest man in his game, estate agents will be optimistic about just about anything. A bit of damp: “no problem”; … Continue reading “A Rental Ruin”

Bagging Beckham

by Matthew Steeples

As Victoria Beckham embraces being a ‘bag lady,’  one could argue she’d simply do best to keep her head inside for good   On the surface, Victoria Beckham has it all: Fame, fortune and friends. In spite of this, this pop princess turned fashion fiesta never smiles and frankly seems as miserable as sin.   … Continue reading “Bagging Beckham”

The Gamble of Greig

by Matthew Steeples

Will  ‘more toff than tough’ Geordie Greig take the ‘Daily Mail’ into the realm of rational? Matthew Steeples suggests that’s as likely as Jacob Rees-Mogg donning a Kappa tracksuit and dancing a jig with Diane Abbott   Yesterday, in an opinion piece for The Guardian, Jane Martinson claimed new editor of the Daily Mail Geordie … Continue reading “The Gamble of Greig”

September 9, 2018

Revolving Friends

by Matthew Steeples

Friendship is a ‘revolving door’ suggests Matthew Steeples; embrace the unknown   One’s life, in terms of those we become acquainted with, is much like a revolving door. It is a door that operates at varying speeds dependent on some coming and staying and others coming and going more quickly than others. Sometimes, even, this … Continue reading “Revolving Friends”

September 8, 2018

A Pricey Doer-Upper

by Matthew Steeples

Derelict Uncle Monty-esque farmhouse in the countryside of the Lake District National Park World Heritage Site for sale for a staggering sum   Described as “one of the most stunning sites in the Lake District National Park” by selling agents Michael C. L.  Hodgson, the Hard Crag farmstead above High Brow Edge at Backbarrow in … Continue reading “A Pricey Doer-Upper”

Finding Your Station

by Matthew Steeples

1937 Bentley shooting brake formerly owned by Mulberry founder Roger Saul to be auctioned today at Goodwood Revival sale   Today at their annual Goodwood Revival sale in Sussex, Bonhams will auction a whole array of cars. Amongst lots offered is a striking 1937 Bentley that was rebodied as a ‘Woodie’ shooting brake circa 1950. … Continue reading “Finding Your Station”

September 7, 2018

Beastly Boris

by Matthew Steeples

Boris Johnson’s timing of divorce announcement simply confirms that all he cares about is power; he is however the Michael Heseltine of our generation   In 2014, Boris Johnson claimed that “the public don’t care about his extra-marital affairs.” Well, plainly though that may or may not have been case, this devious chameleon-like politician’s wife, … Continue reading “Beastly Boris”

September 6, 2018

Fame & The Beeb

by Matthew Steeples

John Stoddart exhibition of silkscreen prints of his iconic works at Chelsea Arts Club attracts the attention of some BBC heavyweights   On Tuesday, at the Chelsea Arts Club in London, photographer John Stoddart illustrated his versatility as an artist in exhibiting silkscreen prints created from his works.   Present at the preview were a … Continue reading “Fame & The Beeb”

September 4, 2018

Rule, Britannia!

by Matthew Steeples

“Famously haunted” Chelsea townhouse once home to ‘Rule, Britannia!’ and ‘A-Hunting We Will Go’ composer Thomas Arne and later Shakespearean actress Dame Ellen Terry for sale   A Grade II* listed Georgian house on Kings Road in Chelsea, London that has gone on sale comes with links to not only the composer Thomas Arne (1710 … Continue reading “Rule, Britannia!”

September 3, 2018

Lose the Loose

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests enough is enough after ‘Loose Women’s’ latest scandal; ITV should scrap this repugnantly gross TV show   I’ve always thought Loose Women to be nothing but gross – and in fact have even suggested there should be a male counterpoint titled Misogynist Men. Featuring an ageing bunch of blabbermouths, this lunchtime ‘chat … Continue reading “Lose the Loose”

September 1, 2018

Styled by Stoddart

by Matthew Steeples

‘Photographer to the Stars’ John Stoddart puts his Whitstable bachelor pad up for sale; it truly represents his bon vivant lifestyle   Suave Liverpool born ‘sniper-turned-snapper’ John Stoddart is selling his lavishly decorated apartment in the heart of the “oyster capital of Britain,” Whitstable.     Extending to 919 square foot and situated on this … Continue reading “Styled by Stoddart”

The Hypocrite Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Christian crooner Cliff Richard rightly accused of “hypocrisy” after launching his pretentiously titled new album ‘Rise Up’ on the BBC   Cliff Richard likes to have his cake and eat it. He extraordinarily received £210,000 damages against the BBC over the supposed invasion of his privacy but now he’s back on the Corporation’s channels plugging … Continue reading “The Hypocrite Cliff”

August 30, 2018

Borwick is Back

by Matthew Steeples

Former Kensington MP Lady Borwick returns to the fray and is branded a #FearlessPillarOfTheCommunity in spite of her bizarre comments linking the Grenfell Tower tragedy and gangs   “Triple dipper” – branded as such because at one time she was paid nearly £100,000 of public money per year as a councillor, Member of Parliament and … Continue reading “Borwick is Back”

August 27, 2018

The Affair That Never Was

by Matthew Steeples

As the Mail Online makes yet another balls-up, The Steeple Times suggests that Lord Rothermere hire a decent copy checker   As was the case with the amazing yet surprisingly true story of The Man Who Never Was and his affair with the woman who ultimately became the inspiration for Ian Fleming’s Bond character Miss … Continue reading “The Affair That Never Was”

August 26, 2018

Put A Helmet On

by Matthew Steeples

Tour de France winner Geraint Thomas is right to demand all cyclists be forced to wear helmets   Yesterday, in an interview in the Sunday Times Magazine, this year’s winner of the Tour de France spoke great sense and suggested cyclists be forced to wear helmets.   In comments, Geraint Thomas remarked:   “I would … Continue reading “Put A Helmet On”

Watery Child Labour

by Matthew Steeples

Advert for a Quooker boiling-water tap featuring a child in pyjamas using it was plainly the choice of a deranged marketing executive   Priced at between £1,150 and £1,600 depending on specification, a Quooker boiling-water tap with a flexible pull-out hose is anything but cheap but an advert for it, also, is anything but appropriate. … Continue reading “Watery Child Labour”

August 25, 2018

A Chummy Tourer

by Matthew Steeples

Dinky 1925 Austin Seven ‘Chummy’ Tourer to be sold at Bonhams’ Beaulieu sale for less than it cost to buy and restore   A delightful little 1925 Austin Seven – known rather endearingly as a ‘Chummy’ Tourer – is to be sold at the Bonhams Beaulieu sale in Hampshire on 1st September.   Produced between … Continue reading “A Chummy Tourer”

August 24, 2018

The King of Caravans

by Matthew Steeples

One-of-a-kind “big caravan-house” with patio on the roof for sale for £30,000; the current owner bought it for just £1 and spent £70,000 restoring it   Believed to be the last remaining example of 99 originally made, a “revolutionary” hammer finished aluminium caravan named a Berkeley Statesman has gone on sale.   Costing £1,065 when … Continue reading “The King of Caravans”

August 22, 2018

The Arab Arrival

by Matthew Steeples

As Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road is invaded by Arabs, The Steeple Times finds that there is both good and bad in their number   Last night, it was a party of two halves on Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road.   At one end, close to the Caramel restaurant, a gaggle of vulgar Chanel handbag wielding Arab women (pictured … Continue reading “The Arab Arrival”

August 21, 2018

#GetMohamedAJob

by Matthew Steeples

Refugee Mohamed Elbarkey could not get a job; he did not give up and took enterprising action to try to get work   Mohamed Elbarkey came to Britain as a refugee from Libya. He worked hard and got degrees from the University of Southampton and University College London yet still could not get a job … Continue reading “#GetMohamedAJob”

August 20, 2018

Porn Pest Pun

by Matthew Steeples

Gatecrasher David Pun evicted from London hotel for watching porn   Aside from gatecrashing parties and nabbing gift bags, it seems David Pun likes to visit London hotels to check his emails.   A photograph captured at a South Kensington establishment we shall not name shows this reprobate ligger using a computer meant for resident … Continue reading “Porn Pest Pun”

August 19, 2018

Hero of the Hour – Yasmita Mulji

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times salutes community hero and Chelsea newsagent Yasmita Mulji   Hardworking Yasmita Mulji has served her community since 1978. This Chelsea newsagent and her small store have survived in the face of adversity and whilst many other longstanding businesses have failed, she has recently diversified into also selling computer games, consoles and peripheral … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Yasmita Mulji”

August 18, 2018

F*** Off Farage

by Matthew Steeples

Nigel Farage’s return to “frontline politics” is going to bring nothing but division and diversion suggests Matthew Steeples   Nigel Farage just can’t help himself: A failed candidate seven times in British Parliament elections and leader of UKIP twice, this bombastic brute is now “returning to frontline politics” in order to “challenge Theresa May’s ‘fraudulent’ … Continue reading “F*** Off Farage”

August 16, 2018

A Funicular Feat

by Matthew Steeples

Highest asking price ever for a property on Lake Tahoe is sought for a compound complete with two glass funiculars; it could be yours for £60 million   Situated on 5.14 acres and having 525-foot of frontage to Lake Tahoe in Nevada, a 16,232 square foot mansion complete has gone on sale.   Built between … Continue reading “A Funicular Feat”

August 18, 2018

The Bubble is Back

by Matthew Steeples

New electric Swiss ‘bubble car’ expected to launch in December; 7,200 orders have already been placed for the £10,800 Microlino   The Swiss are known for their chocolate and cuckoo clocks but now they might add something new to their roster: cars.   Expected to launch in December and limited at first to the Swiss … Continue reading “The Bubble is Back”

August 16, 2018

Falling Off The Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests the BBC’s decision not to appeal the Cliff Richard privacy ruling is very worrying for press freedom   News that the BBC have decided not to challenge the Cliff Richard privacy ruling is not surprising but it also sets a worrying precedent.   In a statement, aside from apologising yet again to … Continue reading “Falling Off The Cliff”

August 14, 2018

A Perfect Estate

by Matthew Steeples

Diverse 2,000 acre Suffolk riverside estate for sale for £31.5 million; it has been owned by the same family since the 19th century and produces an income of some £500,000 per year   A vast Suffolk estate – just 120 miles from London – has gone on sale for £31.5 million ($40.1 million, €35.3 million … Continue reading “A Perfect Estate”

Terrorising Theresa

by Matthew Steeples

This morning’s incident at Westminster should act as a reminder that Theresa May’s cuts to policing are utterly wrong and should be reversed   Whatever occurred this morning in Westminster provides proof of one thing for certain and that is that the Metropolitan Police acted quickly and with the upmost efficiency.   Whether a terrorist … Continue reading “Terrorising Theresa”

August 13, 2018

Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Noel Edmonds’ latest outburst just confirms himself to be a strange, publicity desperate fool   Spiritualist television personality Noel Edmonds is certainly an off-the-scale oddity. He blamed the banking giant HBOS for getting cancer and then claimed he knew of an electric box that could cure the disease; he tried to “comfort” … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds”

August 12, 2018

A Low-Cost Limo

by Matthew Steeples

Perfect car for Hillary Clinton to be auctioned for just £7,800 in Indiana; replica Cadillac One truly is worthy of the name ‘The Beast’   Hillary Clinton could finally fulfill part of her power hungry ways if she headed to the RM Sotheby’s Auburn Fall sale later this month.   Part of the Calumet Collection … Continue reading “A Low-Cost Limo”

August 8, 2018

Bozos, Burkas and Farage

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Nigel Farage is wrong about Boris Johnson’s latest gaffe about burkas in Britain   On Wednesday morning, on Sky News, Nigel Farage was interviewed about what he thinks about Boris Johnson – a self-serving man who simply loves to stay in the headlines – comparing women in burkas to “bank robbers” and … Continue reading “Bozos, Burkas and Farage”

August 7, 2018

A Magnificent Mammoth Mansion

by Matthew Steeples

Grade I listed Jacobean prodigy house in Hampshire for sale for £10 million; it allegedly is haunted by 14 ghosts and comes with planning permission to create a mammoth 57,000 square foot single residential home   In April 2017, The Steeple Times featured the sale of a vast New Jersey mansion named Darlington. Offered for … Continue reading “A Magnificent Mammoth Mansion”

July 24, 2018

The Mugging of Meyer

by Matthew Steeples

‘Red socked fop’ Sir Christopher Meyer’s “mugging” was supposedly just “a fall”   Sir Christopher Meyer was allegedly “attacked” at Victoria Station on 11th July and a great fuss ensued. The media – encouraged by this opinionated former ambassador’s “Chanel clad” wife (and BFF of Theresa May) – printed stories of how he was “beaten” … Continue reading “The Mugging of Meyer”

April 27, 2018

Picture of the Week – High Above The Highlands

by Matthew Steeples

International Space Station astronaut captures a truly amazing cloud free photograph of the Scottish Highlands   Photographs taken from aeroplanes and spacecraft are generally blighted by cloud cover but an image shared this week in the Daily Mail captured by the International Space Station of the Scottish Highlands in February is without flaw.   Taking … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – High Above The Highlands”

April 26, 2018

Not So Bright

by Matthew Steeples

‘Titanic of a PR’ Clarence Mitchell moves on from a series of toxic clients and becomes spokesman for Cambridge Analytica   The name ‘Clarence’ is of Latin origin and has the meaning “bright.” In the case of a PR man named Clarence Mitchell, however, whether this truly applies has once again been left open to … Continue reading “Not So Bright”

April 25, 2018

Cliff The Airhead

by Matthew Steeples

Crackpot Christian crooner Cliff Richard’s lawyers allude to him owning air   The libel case brought by Sir Cliff Richard – a self-declared “genuine international celebrity” with an ego the size of China – against the BBC took an unexpected turn yesterday, according to a report on the corporation’s very own website.   In an … Continue reading “Cliff The Airhead”

April 20, 2018

Potted Trolls

by Matthew Steeples

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is right to speak out against those of the belief that social media trolls should simply be ignored suggests Matthew Steeples   As someone subject to daily abuse on social media at the hands of mostly deranged, aged right-wing trolls, I was truly impressed that the author J.K. Rowling took … Continue reading “Potted Trolls”

Ratty on The River

by Matthew Steeples

A dream house for ‘The Wind In The Willows’ character Ratty; Devon boathouse for sale for £2.5 million   A Devon house that could be perfect for anyone sharing Kenneth Grahame’s character Rat’s view that “there is nothing — absolutely nothing — half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats” has gone … Continue reading “Ratty on The River”

April 17, 2018

Analysing Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

The Cambridge Analytica connection you’ve most likely never heard of; meet The Hon. Thomas Borwick, son of ex-Tory MP Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick   The Hon. Thomas Borwick is a figure in the Cambridge Analytica scandal you’ve probably never heard of.   Bizarrely largely overlooked by the mainstream media, the son of the ousted … Continue reading “Analysing Borwick”

April 16, 2018

A Murky Mucky Madam

by Matthew Steeples

Mendacious minx Meghan Markle increasingly comes across as nothing but personally ambitious and out of touch with reality suggests Matthew Steeples   The engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle was something I initially thought no bad thing. I went, in fact, as far as to laud Markle’s “independent success” and “energy,” but now realise … Continue reading “A Murky Mucky Madam”

April 15, 2018

A Place In Andalucia

by Matthew Steeples

Spectacular hacienda near Seville for sale for £3 million   Anyone who has watched the somewhat cringeworthy television programme A Place In The Sun expects a Spanish holiday home to be somewhat beyond vulgar, but in The Palacio, near Seville, a buyer could purchase something truly spectacular.   Restored over the last five years, this … Continue reading “A Place In Andalucia”

March 19, 2018

An Imagined Engagement

by Matthew Steeples

EXCLUSIVE – James Stunt corrects entirely invented rumours of his supposedly having become engaged   On Saturday, Matthew Steeples, editor of The Steeple Times, dined at C London with his friend James Stunt and an actress named Samantha Rowley.   Businessman Mr Stunt had previously dined with Miss Rowley on several occasions in the company … Continue reading “An Imagined Engagement”

March 6, 2018

Cheers Macron!

by Matthew Steeples

President Emmanuel Macron should ignore his critics and continue to enjoy drinking wine   President Emmanuel Macron has ridiculously been accused of “putting French lives in danger” by admitting to drinking wine at lunch and dinner.   In yet another example of political correctness gone wrong, a gaggle of busybody doctors berated Macron for his … Continue reading “Cheers Macron!”

March 4, 2018

#LazyBrady

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests ‘Lady’ Karren Brady of Knightsbridge has shown herself to be nothing but a muckspreader in her latest pathetic opinion piece for ‘The Sun’   The Steeple Times delighted in exposing the former Member of Parliament for Kensington, Lady Borwick, as #LazyBorwick during the 2017 General Election campaign and now, it seems, we … Continue reading “#LazyBrady”

A Cut Cost Chalet

by Matthew Steeples

Britain’s weirdest home for sale for a sum 61% lower than the £13 million sum asked for it in 2016; it has been repossessed and comes with a 69-foot long indoor beach   In October 2016, The Steeple Times featured what could quite possibly be Britain’s weirdest home. Offered then for £10 million, The Chalet … Continue reading “A Cut Cost Chalet”

Brexit and the Beeb

by Matthew Steeples

“Cherry picking” Theresa May ridiculously boasts that people living in the EU will still be able to watch the BBC post-Brexit; she’d do better to stick to galumphing through wheat fields   Perched on a rickety old chair, Theresa May appeared on this morning’s The Andrew Marr Show on BBC One.   Sporting a surprisingly … Continue reading “Brexit and the Beeb”

March 1, 2018

Bentley or Bail?

by Matthew Steeples

1986 Bentley Continental convertible originally owned by notorious fraudster Asil Nadir to be auctioned   A 1986 Bentley Continental convertible with coachwork by Mulliner Park Ward that was first owned by the dodgy businessman Asil Nadir is told be sold at auction in March.   The Tudor red with black leather interior car – registration … Continue reading “Bentley or Bail?”

February 27, 2018

Stunt Speaks Out

by Matthew Steeples

EXCLUSIVE – James Stunt responds to inaccurate press coverage of his forthcoming interview with ‘Tatler’ magazine   Today, in response to various press reports, James Stunt contacted The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples to issue a response to inaccurate press coverage of a forthcoming interview that will be published in the April edition of Tatler magazine. … Continue reading “Stunt Speaks Out”

Wally of the Week – Brazen bread “grabber” Charlotte Day

by Matthew Steeples

Healthcare assistant Charlotte Day disgracefully moans about panic buying of bread just as homeless people freeze to death   Last week, a homeless man froze to death in Chelmsford, Essex. A week before, another was found dead on the steps of Westminster Tube station in London.   Meanwhile, yesterday, in Medway, Kent, a moaning Minnie … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Brazen bread “grabber” Charlotte Day”

February 26, 2018

Clear The Roads

by Matthew Steeples

Irresponsible Volkswagen Polo driver – registration HW06 CWM – needs to be removed from Britain’s roads   Jeremy Clarkson regularly shares the registration plates of irresponsible motorists he spots on his Twitter feed and having encountered similarly bad driving yesterday, here we share imagery of a woman who deserves to be removed from Britain’s roads. … Continue reading “Clear The Roads”

Toynbee Turns

by Matthew Steeples

Left-wing firebrand Polly Toynbee does an about turn and brands government in Britain today worse than under her arch-enemy Thatcher in the 1980s   Polly Toynbee was always amongst the loudest voices of the left in Britain. She has been known to rant and rave in support of atheism, the SDP and unilateral nuclear disarmament … Continue reading “Toynbee Turns”

February 24, 2018

A Rolls for an Estate

by Matthew Steeples

Quirky 1995 Rolls-Royce estate car for sale for just shy of £100,000; it’s perfect for picnics and conveying posh pooches   A 1995 special edition Rolls-Royce Flying Spur converted to an estate car in recent years from a Silver Spur III with just 25,000 miles on the clock is currently for sale for £99,000 ($138,000, … Continue reading “A Rolls for an Estate”

February 23, 2018

Going For Booze

by Matthew Steeples

Study reveals old aged folk who get fat and enjoy a tipple or two tend to live longer   On Wednesday in society magazine Town & Country, Sam Dangremond revealed that “drinking alcohol could be the key to living past 90.”   Quoting The 90+ Study, “one of the largest studies of the oldest-old in … Continue reading “Going For Booze”

February 24, 2018

Hero of the Hour – Stormzy

by Matthew Steeples

Grime and hip hop artist Stormzy should be saluted for using his fame to do good; the vile harpy Amanda Platell owes him an apology   Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr. – better known by his stage name Stormzy – used his fifteen minutes of fame after winning the best album and the best … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Stormzy”

February 8, 2018

Tigger Bounces into a Cowshed

by Matthew Steeples

Scottish farmer Bruce Grubb caused an armed standoff after calling police to “tackle a tiger on the loose”; it turned out to be a giant cuddly toy   An Aberdeenshire farmer panicked and brought in armed police when he saw what he thought was a tiger in his cowshed.   Bruce Grubb, 24, told The … Continue reading “Tigger Bounces into a Cowshed”

February 7, 2018

Who’s NOT going on The Grand Tour?

by Matthew Steeples

Observations on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange’s failure to overturn the warrant for his arrest   Stuck with a cat adorned with a tie and visited, presumably for intimate relations, regularly by Pamela Assange, Julian Assange had hoped a hearing at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday would result in him treading the pavements of Knightsbridge for … Continue reading “Who’s NOT going on The Grand Tour?”

February 6, 2018

Calamity Corbyn

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples slates Jeremy Corbyn’s failure to secure a 20 point lead in the polls   This publication is regularly criticised for being “anti-conservative.” It most certainly isn’t and that we are blocked on Twitter by both Diane Abbott and George Galloway is definitely evidence of what the true “far left” think of our ramblings. … Continue reading “Calamity Corbyn”

February 5, 2018

No Faith in Theresa

by Matthew Steeples

Theresa May has a perfect right to go to church but why can’t she worship privately?   Week after week, every Sunday, Theresa May appears outside her local church. She is photographed with her garden gnome-like husband and often even a dog.   That Britain’s most incompetent leader ever chooses to believe in the Anglican … Continue reading “No Faith in Theresa”

The Perfect Bachelor Pad

by Matthew Steeples

Ultimate bachelor pad for sale for £6 million in South Kensington; it has garaging for five cars   Originally a mews that was home to Rothmans’ Shire horses, a £6 million ($8.5 million, €6.8 million or درهم31.1 million) property in Elvaston Mews, South Kensington has been transformed into a perfect bachelor pad.   Sold in … Continue reading “The Perfect Bachelor Pad”

February 2, 2018

Five of the Best – Bonhams’ Gentleman’s Library Sale

by Matthew Steeples

Harry Houdini’s escape prop sack to be sold alongside all manner of other unusual items on Valentine’s Day   On 14th February, Bonhams will hold their ‘Gentleman’s Library Sale’ in Knightsbridge, London. Amongst the circa five hundred items to be offered are all manner of unusual items and here we choose five of the best: … Continue reading “Five of the Best – Bonhams’ Gentleman’s Library Sale”

A Range Rover Goes Topless

by Matthew Steeples

Wacky 1970s Range Rover convertible for sale for just under £100,000   A truly quirky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ that was transformed for ‘topless’ use in Monaco is for sale through Kensington dealers Graeme Hunt.   Featuring a completely removable hood frame, doors with drop down windows and such features a rear step … Continue reading “A Range Rover Goes Topless”

Brazen Women

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples slams ITV’s ‘Loose Women’s’ latest outrageous episode   If there were a programme named Misogynist Men there would be an uproar but that a bunch of obnoxious middle aged wenches gather each day to host a show on ITV named Loose Women is an utter disgrace.   Criticised even in the equally pugnacious … Continue reading “Brazen Women”

January 21, 2018

The Kippers Are Dead

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests UKIP is a dead duck and it is time it closed up shop; the beneficiaries of its likely demise remains to be seen   The United Kingdom Independence Party is made up of fruitcakes and philanderers and news that Nigel Farage may end up becoming the leader of their “movement” just proves … Continue reading “The Kippers Are Dead”

January 16, 2018

The Daily Branson

by Matthew Steeples

Richard Branson’s decision to re-allow the ‘Daily Mail’ on his trains proves him to be nothing but a lying self-publicist   Sir Richard Branson yet again has proven himself to be nothing but a self-obsessed, self-publicising cretin. That this self-proclaimed “entrepreneur” has reneged on his company’s decision to ban the Daily Mail on his trains … Continue reading “The Daily Branson”

January 15, 2018

A Wine Winner

by Matthew Steeples

Half price bottles of wine at The Enterprise during January; price per bottle starts at £9.98 per bottle   The Enterprise in Walton Street, Chelsea is an institution that locals know and love. The staff and management are charming, the atmosphere is fun and the food and drink superlative.   For the whole of January, … Continue reading “A Wine Winner”

January 10, 2018

My Friend Arthur

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples remembers the late, great Arthur Woodham, the owner of Arthur’s Cafe in Dalston and La Brasserie’s best customer at the bar on a Saturday afternoon   Arthur Woodham told me: “I don’t drink in my manor” each and every Saturday. We sat together at the bar at the sadly now defunct La Brasserie … Continue reading “My Friend Arthur”

January 5, 2018

Branson Falls Off The Roof

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Richard Branson closes The Roof Gardens in Kensington; customers take to social media to complain about lack of assistance over cancelled bookings   Sir Richard Branson can now add “job killer” and “wedding wrecker” to his resume. In closing the once popular venue The Roof Gardens, this tawdry fantasist not only put 80 people … Continue reading “Branson Falls Off The Roof”

December 30, 2017

Theresa May(be) NOT

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Adonis’ resignation should signal the end for Theresa May’s sorry excuse for a government   Theresa May – a friend of amongst other luminaries as Gerry and Kate McCann and Sir Christopher and Lady Meyer – has done it again. In quitting his post today, Lord Adonis spelled out exactly what is wrong with … Continue reading “Theresa May(be) NOT”

December 29, 2017

Reward Offered – Martin Allen

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt offers a £50,000 reward via ‘The Steeple Times’ for information leading to the conviction of the abductors of Martin Allen   Fifteen year old Martin Allen disappeared on 5th November 1979. He was allegedly last seen at Gloucester Road underground station but no body has ever been found. His parents, Tom and Eileen, … Continue reading “Reward Offered – Martin Allen”

Class v. Brass

by Matthew Steeples

Whilst the Chelsea Arts Club is right to put on a bit of Moulin Rouge this season, Petra Ecclestone’s show next door is nothing but gaudy   In their final outing of the year, the Chelsea Arts Club have decorated their façade with a theme based upon Moulin Rouge. It stands out but it has … Continue reading “Class v. Brass”

December 27, 2017

The Rise of James Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests James Stunt as a man to watch in 2018   James Stunt was not a man I expected to have much time for let alone come to actually like. Prior to meeting him properly this summer, I tended towards the opinion that he was somewhat brash but now, having spent time in … Continue reading “The Rise of James Stunt”

December 23, 2017

Mad K&C

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples reports on ‘Mad Friday’s’ arrival in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea   Vomit on the pavement and kids pissed on the streets: A standard night in Newcastle on ‘Mad Friday’ but this year this horrific occurrence hit the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea with vengeance and with equal aplomb to … Continue reading “Mad K&C”

December 22, 2017

Calendar Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Cliff Richard pompously announces his calendar sales “leaves David Beckham standing” and makes Kylie Minogue’s look “meagre”   “The Peter Pan of Pop” Sir Cliff Richard is in jubilant mood. After having seen off various interesting allegations against him in 2016, the Christian singer has taken to the Internet to announce his calendar sales … Continue reading “Calendar Cliff”

December 21, 2017

Happy Buckethead

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Buckethead moves on from taking on Theresa May in Maidenhead and records a Christmas song; it’s brilliant   The fabulous Lord Buckethead has done it again. First, this wacky enigma took on the woman rightly described as “Britain’s worst ever Prime Minister” in Maidenhead in June and got 249 votes and now he’s made … Continue reading “Happy Buckethead”

December 19, 2017

A Repo in the Mud

by Matthew Steeples

Unfinished, repossessed Gloucestershire country house surrounded by a quagmire of mud for sale for an ambitious sum   In September 2012, a pretty but unlisted Cotstwold stone house at Farmington, near Stow-on-the-Wold went on sale for £2.8 million complete with 3 cottages, barns and 30 acres of land. Its asking price had increased to £3.5 … Continue reading “A Repo in the Mud”

December 18, 2017

Facebook Fail First

by Matthew Steeples

As Twitter suspend Jayda Fransen, Paul Golding and Britain First’s accounts, Facebook have shamefully done nothing to stop them and the likes of Viscount St Davids continuing to spread hate   Britain First have 1.95 million followers on Facebook whilst the hate group’s deputy, Jayda Fransen, has 236,500 and its leader, Paul Golding, has 202,000. … Continue reading “Facebook Fail First”

December 17, 2017

Limitless Lawless

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples reports on Philip Lawless’ remarkable career at the top of London’s restaurant industry   Though the raconteur restaurateur Philip Lawless recently sold his Belgravia dining spot Motcombs, his legacy lives on both there and at the Bow Wine Vaults, which he retains and continues to run.   Irish born Lawless moved to London … Continue reading “Limitless Lawless”

December 14, 2017

The Twelve Disciples

by Matthew Steeples

Twelve Conservatives show themselves as heroes of the hour by voting against Theresa May on Brexit   Yesterday, twelve decent Tory MPs stood up to the worst Prime Minister in history and effectively ensured the Commons has to vote for a “meaningful” vote over any Brexit deal with the EU.   They are:   Dominic … Continue reading “The Twelve Disciples”

December 12, 2017

Airing Clifford

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests that claims by PR people that Max Clifford wasn’t one of their number simply shows their ‘profession’ to be nothing but hot air   Max Clifford had a short penis and he was a paedophile. They are both facts but that most things this self-professed spinner of lies was associated with during … Continue reading “Airing Clifford”

December 7, 2017

Britain’s Priciest Houseboat

by Matthew Steeples

Thames houseboat moored at Cadogan Pier in Chelsea goes on sale for extraordinary sum of £2.5 million   What could likely be Britain’s most expensive houseboat has gone on sale for £2.5 million ($3.3 million, €2.8 million or درهم12.3 million) – or the same sum as a 9-bedroom Queen Anne house in Wiltshire.     … Continue reading “Britain’s Priciest Houseboat”

November 30, 2017

Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle

by Matthew Steeples

Kushner-Trump mouthpiece Andre Walker’s attack on Meghan Markle was an utter disgrace; it is time that this warped weirdo was called out for what he truly is   Unsurprisingly yesterday, the self-declared “fat Northern bruiser” turned Jared Kushner’s London based mouthpiece Andre Walker appeared on Sky News to defend Donald Trump’s “right” to retweet far … Continue reading “Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle”

November 29, 2017

The Stars of Beel

by Matthew Steeples

Neglected Georgian mansion that has been home to Sir Dirk Bogarde, Basil Dearden, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Matt Aitken and Robert Kilroy-Silk for sale for 39% less than it sold for in 2014   A dilapidated Grade II* listed country house whose extensive roster of owners numbers aristocrats, rock and film stars and politicians is … Continue reading “The Stars of Beel”

Sisters in Shock

by Matthew Steeples

Jack Monroe’s analysis of Katie Hopkins’s supposed “sacking” by the ‘Mail Online’ illustrates just one thing: The pair are actually virtually the same and simply ‘Sisters in Shock’   Yesterday, in a column for The Guardian, the self-opinionated, self-serving know-all Jack Monroe (sometimes a woman, sometimes ‘Gender X’ and sometimes no gender at all) shared … Continue reading “Sisters in Shock”

The Harem Saloon

by Matthew Steeples

1931 Bentley Tourer nicknamed ‘The Harem Saloon’ because of its first owner’s penchant for taking spins with his lady friends for sale for £1.15 million   A 1931 8-litre Bentley Tourer that got the nickname ‘The Harem Saloon’ because it was first used by a Chinese Mau owner to take his girlfriends to the races … Continue reading “The Harem Saloon”

November 27, 2017

Anything but Meek

by Matthew Steeples

What first attracted ‘Hot Felon’ Jeremy Meeks to the daughter of the billionaire ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green?   One could argue the criminal Jeremy Meeks hit the jackpot when his mugshot went viral and a modeling career as the ‘Hot Felon’ ensued. Not only did he achieve such, but one could argue he had a … Continue reading “Anything but Meek”

November 26, 2017

The Finery of Fatland

by Matthew Steeples

Vast Greek Revival style Pennsylvania mansion for sale for 56% less than it was marketed for in 2014; it comes with a pub in the basement   An extravagant and somewhat over the top estate in Pennsylvania is on sale for £2.96 million or 56% less than the £6.75 million sum it was listed for … Continue reading “The Finery of Fatland”

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