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The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

  • We have 91,000 daily subscribers by email.

  • We typically average around 320,000 unique views per day.

  • We currently have 65 contributing authors who range from students to the actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff and the champion jockey Frankie Dettori.

Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".

 

The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.

 

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society

A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

December 7, 2018

Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood

by Matthew Steeples

Petulant child Tom Harwood makes a nuisance of himself on ‘Politics Live’ after previously claiming he can singlehandedly defeat ISIS and making comparison of Brexit to using a condom   “Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.” Spike Milligan, Puckoon (1963)   Former leader of the student wing of Vote Leave Tom Harwood describes … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood”

November 5, 2018

Bog Room Ben

by Matthew Steeples

That Ben Fogle shared his views on “bathroom style” speaks volumes to where he is positioned in society   Yesterday, in The Sunday Times, television presenter Ben Fogle joined the likes of the poker faced interior decorator Kelly Hoppen and shared details of what the paper called “The Bath to Glory.”   God help us … Continue reading “Bog Room Ben”

October 25, 2018

Pun Parties With Police

by Matthew Steeples

David Pun arrested at a party in London   Last night in Mayfair, David Pun was arrested in full view of invited guests. Cuffed and taken to a police station, this renowned party crasher finally was brought to book.   Having pretended to own Harvey Nichols and Peninsula Hotels on occasions, Pun is the very … Continue reading “Pun Parties With Police”

October 22, 2018

Overheard – 22nd October 2018

by Matthew Steeples

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’   Mobile Arabs An Arab sat outside a shisha café on Brompton Road told her friend: “I lost my phone in Harrods today but I went back and they’d found it. Thank God it was Harrods. They’d have been so racist anywhere else but … Continue reading “Overheard – 22nd October 2018”

September 21, 2018

Murky Stirring

by Matthew Steeples

The Duchess of Sussex attempts to morph into a modern day Mary Berry   Mary Berry is annoying enough but now, it seems, there could be a royal attempting to steal this pest’s thunder.   Yesterday at Kensington Palace, accompanied by her “ice-breaker” mother Doria Ragland, the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle launched a … Continue reading “Murky Stirring”

September 19, 2018

Stunt About Town

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt admits to failing to snare a lady he describes as “a true thoroughbred”   A man capable of getting just about whatever he wants, billionaire and art connoisseur James Stunt has finally met his match in a glamourous and well-connected woman.   Sharing his news with The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples, Stunt showed … Continue reading “Stunt About Town”

September 16, 2018

The Talented Tinker

by Matthew Steeples

Actor Dudley Sutton – AKA ‘Lovejoy’s’ Tinker – passes away aged 85 shortly after giving an interview lauding the NHS   The talented actor and regular at the Chelsea Arts Club, Dudley Sutton sadly died yesterday after a short battle with cancer.   Best known for playing Tinker Dill in the brilliant BBC comedy-drama series … Continue reading “The Talented Tinker”

September 15, 2018

Thanks Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

Alexa Chung transitions from “fashion genius” to “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports; Matthew Steeples asks: “Who’d want to miss such important news?”   Is there nothing that the ‘Queen of Instagram’ (with her 3.1 million followers) Alexa Chung cannot master? This “phenomenon,”  “starlet” and “human” (that’s her very own description … Continue reading “Thanks Alexa”

September 14, 2018

Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness

by Matthew Steeples

Racist Marie-Claire, ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben spotted dashing for sparkling wine as she ‘works the room’ at chi-chi antiques fair   Last night at LAPADA, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting innocents complete with her trademark helmet hairstyle, Marie-Claire ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben perched on a bench at the entrance.   The wannabe Elnett ambassador’s eyes beamed when … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness”

September 12, 2018

An Almighty Allsopp

by Matthew Steeples

Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part?   On Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show on Monday, one of the panel, The Hon. Kirstie Allsopp, shared that she’d smashed up her children’s iPads because they weren’t using them responsibly. … Continue reading “An Almighty Allsopp”

September 10, 2018

Bagging Beckham

by Matthew Steeples

As Victoria Beckham embraces being a ‘bag lady,’  one could argue she’d simply do best to keep her head inside for good   On the surface, Victoria Beckham has it all: Fame, fortune and friends. In spite of this, this pop princess turned fashion fiesta never smiles and frankly seems as miserable as sin.   … Continue reading “Bagging Beckham”

September 1, 2018

The Hypocrite Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Christian crooner Cliff Richard rightly accused of “hypocrisy” after launching his pretentiously titled new album ‘Rise Up’ on the BBC   Cliff Richard likes to have his cake and eat it. He extraordinarily received £210,000 damages against the BBC over the supposed invasion of his privacy but now he’s back on the Corporation’s channels plugging … Continue reading “The Hypocrite Cliff”

August 24, 2018

Haaz Sleiman – What’s on your mantelpiece?

by General

A 20-question interview with Lebanese-American actor Haaz Sleiman; he has starred in ‘24’, ‘ER’, ‘Killing Jesus’, ‘NCIS’, ‘Nurse Jackie’ and ‘Person of Interest’   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? Love.   “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours? “If you can’t … Continue reading “Haaz Sleiman – What’s on your mantelpiece?”

August 22, 2018

The Arab Arrival

by Matthew Steeples

As Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road is invaded by Arabs, The Steeple Times finds that there is both good and bad in their number   Last night, it was a party of two halves on Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road.   At one end, close to the Caramel restaurant, a gaggle of vulgar Chanel handbag wielding Arab women (pictured … Continue reading “The Arab Arrival”

August 20, 2018

Porn Pest Pun

by Matthew Steeples

Gatecrasher David Pun evicted from London hotel for watching porn   Aside from gatecrashing parties and nabbing gift bags, it seems David Pun likes to visit London hotels to check his emails.   A photograph captured at a South Kensington establishment we shall not name shows this reprobate ligger using a computer meant for resident … Continue reading “Porn Pest Pun”

August 13, 2018

Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Noel Edmonds’ latest outburst just confirms himself to be a strange, publicity desperate fool   Spiritualist television personality Noel Edmonds is certainly an off-the-scale oddity. He blamed the banking giant HBOS for getting cancer and then claimed he knew of an electric box that could cure the disease; he tried to “comfort” … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds”

April 25, 2018

Cliff The Airhead

by Matthew Steeples

Crackpot Christian crooner Cliff Richard’s lawyers allude to him owning air   The libel case brought by Sir Cliff Richard – a self-declared “genuine international celebrity” with an ego the size of China – against the BBC took an unexpected turn yesterday, according to a report on the corporation’s very own website.   In an … Continue reading “Cliff The Airhead”

April 20, 2018

Potted Trolls

by Matthew Steeples

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is right to speak out against those of the belief that social media trolls should simply be ignored suggests Matthew Steeples   As someone subject to daily abuse on social media at the hands of mostly deranged, aged right-wing trolls, I was truly impressed that the author J.K. Rowling took … Continue reading “Potted Trolls”

April 17, 2018

Analysing Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

The Cambridge Analytica connection you’ve most likely never heard of; meet The Hon. Thomas Borwick, son of ex-Tory MP Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick   The Hon. Thomas Borwick is a figure in the Cambridge Analytica scandal you’ve probably never heard of.   Bizarrely largely overlooked by the mainstream media, the son of the ousted … Continue reading “Analysing Borwick”

March 4, 2018

#LazyBrady

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests ‘Lady’ Karren Brady of Knightsbridge has shown herself to be nothing but a muckspreader in her latest pathetic opinion piece for ‘The Sun’   The Steeple Times delighted in exposing the former Member of Parliament for Kensington, Lady Borwick, as #LazyBorwick during the 2017 General Election campaign and now, it seems, we … Continue reading “#LazyBrady”

February 27, 2018

Stunt Speaks Out

by Matthew Steeples

EXCLUSIVE – James Stunt responds to inaccurate press coverage of his forthcoming interview with ‘Tatler’ magazine   Today, in response to various press reports, James Stunt contacted The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples to issue a response to inaccurate press coverage of a forthcoming interview that will be published in the April edition of Tatler magazine. … Continue reading “Stunt Speaks Out”

February 26, 2018

Clear The Roads

by Matthew Steeples

Irresponsible Volkswagen Polo driver – registration HW06 CWM – needs to be removed from Britain’s roads   Jeremy Clarkson regularly shares the registration plates of irresponsible motorists he spots on his Twitter feed and having encountered similarly bad driving yesterday, here we share imagery of a woman who deserves to be removed from Britain’s roads. … Continue reading “Clear The Roads”

December 29, 2017

Class v. Brass

by Matthew Steeples

Whilst the Chelsea Arts Club is right to put on a bit of Moulin Rouge this season, Petra Ecclestone’s show next door is nothing but gaudy   In their final outing of the year, the Chelsea Arts Club have decorated their façade with a theme based upon Moulin Rouge. It stands out but it has … Continue reading “Class v. Brass”

December 27, 2017

The Rise of James Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests James Stunt as a man to watch in 2018   James Stunt was not a man I expected to have much time for let alone come to actually like. Prior to meeting him properly this summer, I tended towards the opinion that he was somewhat brash but now, having spent time in … Continue reading “The Rise of James Stunt”

December 23, 2017

Mad K&C

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples reports on ‘Mad Friday’s’ arrival in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea   Vomit on the pavement and kids pissed on the streets: A standard night in Newcastle on ‘Mad Friday’ but this year this horrific occurrence hit the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea with vengeance and with equal aplomb to … Continue reading “Mad K&C”

December 22, 2017

Calendar Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Cliff Richard pompously announces his calendar sales “leaves David Beckham standing” and makes Kylie Minogue’s look “meagre”   “The Peter Pan of Pop” Sir Cliff Richard is in jubilant mood. After having seen off various interesting allegations against him in 2016, the Christian singer has taken to the Internet to announce his calendar sales … Continue reading “Calendar Cliff”

December 21, 2017

Happy Buckethead

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Buckethead moves on from taking on Theresa May in Maidenhead and records a Christmas song; it’s brilliant   The fabulous Lord Buckethead has done it again. First, this wacky enigma took on the woman rightly described as “Britain’s worst ever Prime Minister” in Maidenhead in June and got 249 votes and now he’s made … Continue reading “Happy Buckethead”

November 30, 2017

Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle

by Matthew Steeples

Kushner-Trump mouthpiece Andre Walker’s attack on Meghan Markle was an utter disgrace; it is time that this warped weirdo was called out for what he truly is   Unsurprisingly yesterday, the self-declared “fat Northern bruiser” turned Jared Kushner’s London based mouthpiece Andre Walker appeared on Sky News to defend Donald Trump’s “right” to retweet far … Continue reading “Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle”

November 27, 2017

Anything but Meek

by Matthew Steeples

What first attracted ‘Hot Felon’ Jeremy Meeks to the daughter of the billionaire ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green?   One could argue the criminal Jeremy Meeks hit the jackpot when his mugshot went viral and a modeling career as the ‘Hot Felon’ ensued. Not only did he achieve such, but one could argue he had a … Continue reading “Anything but Meek”

November 21, 2017

Modern Day Foxes and Hedgehogs

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times examines Archilochus’ concept of ‘foxes’ and ‘hedgehogs and applies such to modern day personalities   According to the Greek poet Archilochus: “The fox knows many things, but a hedgehog one important thing.” Isaiah Berlin explored this premise in greater detail in his 1953 essay The Hedgehog and the Fox and identified ‘hedgehogs’ … Continue reading “Modern Day Foxes and Hedgehogs”

November 16, 2017

The Trouble with Tamara

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples (attempts) to review ITVBe’s new series about the life of wealthy heiress Tamara Ecclestone (but doesn’t get very far)   I was going to write a scathing review of Tamara Ecclestone’s attempt to outdo Kim Kardashian with the new ITVBe series about her privileged life, Tamara’s World. Then, after wasting 60 minutes watching … Continue reading “The Trouble with Tamara”

November 13, 2017

Opening up Menéndez

by Matthew Steeples

Previously publicity shy Menéndez brothers both speak publicly about killing their parents in the wake of the success of NBC’s ‘Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders’   Erik and Lyle Menéndez, the brothers convicted of murdering their allegedly abusive multi-millionaire parents José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez at their home in Beverly Hills, California … Continue reading “Opening up Menéndez”

October 27, 2017

A Bigoted Bash

by Matthew Steeples

Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben starts (yet another) racist tirade at a party in London and launches a website where she brands herself ‘Incredible Marie-Claire’   Last night, at a party in London, a bigoted baroness launched into a racist tirade about immigration and the European Union.   At the event in St James’s, Marie-Claire von … Continue reading “A Bigoted Bash”

October 17, 2017

Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley

by Matthew Steeples

Sanctimonious champagne grabber Richard Madeley makes inappropriate joke about alleged abuser Harvey Weinstein   Richard Madeley rather loves the sound of his own voice. Decades ago he formed part of a tediously sanctimonious duo known to the nation as ‘Richard and Judy’ but now this irritating pair – though surprisingly still married – pretty much … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley”

October 16, 2017

More on Menéndez

by Matthew Steeples

As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ and brands their conviction for killing their wealthy parents “imperfect self-defence”   Renewed interest in the 1989 murders of the multi-millionaires José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez by their sons, Erik and Lyle, has … Continue reading “More on Menéndez”

October 9, 2017

Avoidable Ignominy

by Matthew Steeples

Hillary Clinton clutching the chest of Harvey Weinstein represents a judgment choice as bad as that of Prince Andrew hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein   In 2012, Hillary Clinton was excruciatingly pictured with her hands on the chest of the movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.   The now alleged “violator of women” Weinstein was yesterday described … Continue reading “Avoidable Ignominy”

October 1, 2017

An Excess of Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

‘Mail on Sunday’ get a little beyond carried away with their latest toady description of Alexa Chung   ‘Fashionista’ Alexa Chung, as we’ve suggested previously, is probably a perfectly nice person. However, though she’s lauded by the metropolitan elite, nobody in Newcastle likely gives a damn and frankly, on that basis, we cannot fathom why … Continue reading “An Excess of Alexa”

September 20, 2017

Hammering Harris

by Matthew Steeples

Two works by paedophile Rolf Harris withdrawn from auction whilst one of a baby remains for sale online   In the wake of his conviction in 2014 for abusing women and girls as young as 8 years old, many of the frankly crap paintings by the repugnant monster Rolf Harris were burnt by those who’d … Continue reading “Hammering Harris”

September 14, 2017

Hero of the Hour – Farhad Neda

by Matthew Steeples

Farhad Neda rescued his disabled mother from the 23rd floor of the Grenfell Tower; they are the only survivors from the penultimate level of the building   Whilst others headed upwards tragically wrongly thinking a helicopter would rescue them, 23rd floor resident of the Grenfell Tower 24-year old Farhad Neda realised the best course of … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Farhad Neda”

September 9, 2017

Gaining a Lambo (or five)

by Matthew Steeples

Convoy of five yellow Lamborghinis spotted cruising around Kensington and Chelsea   Someone once said: “Work until you feel a Lamborghini is cheap” and plainly the owner of a convoy currently in London has exactly that attitude.   Pictured here on Brompton Road opposite the former premises of La Brasserie, a fleet of five yellow … Continue reading “Gaining a Lambo (or five)”

August 27, 2017

Picture of the Week – The Lack of Appeal of ‘The Half Biscuit’

by Matthew Steeples

Facebook group mocks racist online abuser Viscount St Davids as he returns to the clink   On Friday, the dimwitted ‘half biscuit’ 4th Viscount St Davids – also known as amongst other things Rhodri Philipps and Baron Strange of Knockin – was returned to jail after attempting and then dropping an appeal against a sentence … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – The Lack of Appeal of ‘The Half Biscuit’”

August 8, 2017

Congratulations Bill

by General

‘Songwriter to the Stars’ Bill Martin to perform for first time at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe; he will enlighten his audience about his successful career   Glasgow born Bill Martin MBE – whose chart topping hits have included Congratulations, Puppet on a String and Shang-A-Lang – is performing a nightly show at The Dome during … Continue reading “Congratulations Bill”

August 7, 2017

Calmed Down Cameron

by Matthew Steeples

David Cameron snapped ‘Hugging a Corbyn’ after he’s revealed to have a ‘Calm Down – It’s Only a Recession’ in his kitchen and a £25,000 shepherd’s hut in his garden   David Cameron is plainly enjoying life to the full. Not only has he been rewarded with a huge literary advance after walking away after … Continue reading “Calmed Down Cameron”

August 1, 2017

United in Plastic

by Matthew Steeples

‘Bride of Wildenstein’ Jocelyn Wildenstein reunites with her lover Lloyd Klein; the plastic faced couple will marry at some point in the future   Yesterday, the world’s ugliest woman announced she is to marry the world’s vainest man in an exclusive feature in the DailyMail.com.   According to the paper, Jocelyn Wildenstein – a New … Continue reading “United in Plastic”

July 30, 2017

Done With Diana

by Matthew Steeples

Enough is finally enough with press coverage about the late Diana, Princess of Wales   Diana, Princess of Wales has been dead twenty years. It is thus ludicrous that her family continue to have to put up with an endless barrage of articles raking over outdated nonsense about her and though it most definitely suits … Continue reading “Done With Diana”

July 26, 2017

Dr No More

by Matthew Steeples

Gatecrasher ‘Dr Nastro’ admits defeat and announces he’ll be retiring from the ligging circuit; perhaps Denis Doble, David Pun and Sandra Shevey ought to follow his lead   On Wednesday, we received a message from a known member of London’s ligging community of aging oddballs using the pseudonym ‘Dr Nastro’.   In an email to … Continue reading “Dr No More”

July 16, 2017

Limited in Knightsbridge

by Matthew Steeples

As Arabs descend on London with their eccentric convoys of cars, we select a new arrival; such things delight some and infuriate others   The time of year is upon Knightsbridge when Arabs and their supercars descend. Amongst them come exotically coloured Bentleys, Bugattis, Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Rolls-Royces, but one new arrival this season is … Continue reading “Limited in Knightsbridge”

July 9, 2017

The Lady is a Snob

by Matthew Steeples

Lady Meyer makes snobbish remarks on Twitter; in doing so she again proves she’s herself nothing but ghastly   The infamously “Chanel clad” wife of Sir Christopher Meyer, Britain’s former “red socked fop” ambassador to America, is known for her curt manner and finger pointing ways, but recently on Twitter, she opted to again illustrate … Continue reading “The Lady is a Snob”

July 5, 2017

Rinder vs. Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt finds support from the aristocracy, receives a suggestion he takes to the stage from actor Steven Berkoff and issues two more YouTube video posts   Update: 07:45am, Thursday 6th July – Three of the four videos by James Stunt have been removed. YouTube have replaced them with a comment: “This content is not … Continue reading “Rinder vs. Stunt”

July 4, 2017

A Stunted Speech

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt filmed in a dressing gown ranting about Bernie Ecclestone and Viscount Rothermere at the Jumeirah Carlton Tower; the footage was released on YouTube   Yesterday, James Stunt took to social media to share his personal perspective on his impending divorce, his estranged wife, his father-in-law, his deceased brother, the Daily Mail, the Mail … Continue reading “A Stunted Speech”

July 2, 2017

Wally of the Week – Catherine Faulks

by Matthew Steeples

Moronic oddjob Councillor Catherine Faulks claims that the Kensington Town Hall protest was brought about by non-locals   Kensington and Chelsea Council attracts idiots and aside from the bizarrely hyphenated Rock Fielding-Mellen and Nicholas Paget-Brown, one of their worst has to be Councillor Catherine Faulks.   This week, Ms Faulks, a woman whom plainly did … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Catherine Faulks”

June 27, 2017

Making an Impact

by Matthew Steeples

A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition in Chelsea   On the 19th June, undoubtedly the hottest day of summer thus far, at the 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10, Matthew Steeples hosted a party to mark the closing of artist Enzina Fuschini’s latest exhibition.   Guests including Riadh Abdelouahad, Brian Callan, The … Continue reading “Making an Impact”

Not a Fibre of Regret

by Matthew Steeples

Arrogant jailbird Ben Fiberesima joins an evergrowing list of self-obsessed sorts to block ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter   Rambunctious Ben Fiberesima, a loudmouth whose love for himself is plainly his guiding principle, has blocked The Steeple Times on social media after being released from the clink.   Lauded as having “starred alongside Leonardo DiCaprio … Continue reading “Not a Fibre of Regret”

June 1, 2017

Annabel Mullin – What’s on your mantelpiece?

by Matthew Steeples

A 20-question interview with criminal justice expert, former police officer and Liberal Democrat candidate for Kensington Annabel Mullin   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? To live every moment to the fullest and make the biggest difference to people’s lives that I can.   “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, … Continue reading “Annabel Mullin – What’s on your mantelpiece?”

May 30, 2017

Wally of the Week – Andre Walker

by Matthew Steeples

Whackjob former Tory activist turned Jared Kushner employed ‘journalist’ Andre Walker tells ‘The Steeple Times’: “In the words of Trump: ‘You are fake news’” (and then blocks us)   Andre Walker is of the Donald Trump school when it comes to dealing with situations he doesn’t like: This former Tory bullyboy turned Breitbart braggart and … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Andre Walker”

May 22, 2017

Shifty & Shiftier

by Matthew Steeples

In posing for pictures with ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green in Cannes, Sarah, Duchess of York showed herself to be nothing but shameless   Sarah, Duchess of York is one of those people who has no need for money given she’s always close to it. Yesterday, however, at the 70th Cannes Film Festival, this avaricious former … Continue reading “Shifty & Shiftier”

May 19, 2017

Wally of the Week – Anthea Turner

by Matthew Steeples

‘Shagger Turner’ sinks to a new low; ‘Princess Tippytoes’ Anthea Turner again illustrates her desperation for attention   Whilst she was married to Grant Bovey, a restaurant owner and ‘friend’ of Anthea Turner used to mockingly remark: “Here comes ‘f**k, I want to be famous’ and here comes ‘f**k, I used to be famous’” each … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Anthea Turner”

May 14, 2017

Louise Rowntree – What’s on your mantelpiece?

by General

A 20-question interview with public affairs and communications consultant and Liberal Democrat candidate for Chelsea & Fulham Louise Rowntree   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? Treat others the way you want to be treated.   “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s … Continue reading “Louise Rowntree – What’s on your mantelpiece?”

May 5, 2017

Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’

by Matthew Steeples

As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?”   Last May, the acerbic Spectator columnist Taki wrote a brilliant opinion piece bemoaning the ghastly affair he believed New York’s Metropolitan Museum Gala had become. It perfectly summed up the vulgarity of an age where Kardashians … Continue reading “Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’”

May 4, 2017

The Commerce of Selfies

by Matthew Steeples

A review of the showcase of vanity that is the Saatchi Gallery’s ‘Selfie to Self-Expression’ exhibition   The first ever ‘selfie’ was supposedly taken on the roof of the Marceau studio on Fifth Avenue in New York. Featuring a photographer named Joseph Byron and his colleagues, the image was captured in December 1920 and now, … Continue reading “The Commerce of Selfies”

May 3, 2017

Stoddart Stateside

by Matthew Steeples

A preview of John Stoddart’s exhibition at Sofitel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills   Tonight, in California, an exhibition of the works of photographer to the stars John Stoddart will be opened with a reception at Sofitel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills.     A whole array of guests are expected at the event and … Continue reading “Stoddart Stateside”

April 21, 2017

(Not) Wedded by Ward

by Matthew Steeples

Loudmouth champagne swiller Dawn Ward once again fails to get permission to turn her vulgar home into a wedding venue   Marketing material for Dawn Ward’s tastelessly decorated home, Warford Hall, near Alderley Edge in Cheshire, boldly describes it as “the finest entertaining house ever conceived”. She’s failed to generate any interest in it since … Continue reading “(Not) Wedded by Ward”

April 19, 2017

Remembering Michael Bienes

by Matthew Steeples

Witty Fort Lauderdale based philanthropist Michael Bienes passes away   Philanthropist Michael Bienes sadly died of cancer on 5th April according to the Sun Sentinel.   New York born Mr Bienes, a multi-millionaire many times over until falling prey to Bernard Madoff’s crooked Ponzi scheme, was known for hosting lavish parties and supported everything from … Continue reading “Remembering Michael Bienes”

April 13, 2017

Alexander Newley – What’s on your mantelpiece?

by Matthew Steeples

A 20-question interview with contemporary artist Alexander Newley   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? Eros, anger, anxiety, love – in perfect and contradictory admixture.   “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours? When fate raises its sword to make you tremble, … Continue reading “Alexander Newley – What’s on your mantelpiece?”

April 8, 2017

Overheard – 8th April

by Matthew Steeples

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’   Candy Knockers At Scalini in Knightsbridge, two brash housebuilders from Essex sat devouring veal chops. One referenced his idols and observed: “The Candy brothers have a brilliant setup. They are like the Peter Stringfellows of property”. The other looked puzzled but the first … Continue reading “Overheard – 8th April”

April 4, 2017

Blabbermouth Burrell

by Matthew Steeples

Butler-turned-blabbermouth Paul Burrell sinks to a new low; he should retreat to Siberia and live out his days privately   Cat-like Paul Burrell again and again reinvents himself. Somehow, in spite of already having undeservedly exhausted more than nine lives, this ghastly individual is back in the press and this time he’s milking the story … Continue reading “Blabbermouth Burrell”

March 31, 2017

Overheard – 31st March

by General

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’   Ferry & Yah A PR maven at the Chiltern Firehouse loudly spoke into her mobile. She speedily told the person at the other end of the line: “Bryan Ferry is amazing. Yah. Super yah… I saw his son in 5 Hertford Street. That … Continue reading “Overheard – 31st March”

March 27, 2017

Taxi!

by Matthew Steeples

Rare 1938 Austin taxi to be auctioned; it is one of just four known to survive   On 29th March, the very day Theresa May taxis towards Brexit and triggers Article 50, H&H Classics will auction a 1938 Austin 12/4 Heavy Low Loader Taxicab with coachwork by J. & H. Ricketts at their Imperial War … Continue reading “Taxi!”

March 24, 2017

The Community Conundrum

by Matthew Steeples

Chelsea locals bemoan the loss of their community gathering point   Last night at The Enterprise in Walton Street, a group of bereft locals gathered to hold a wake in honour of the demise of their favoured meeting spot, La Brasserie.   No one present denied the fact that there are plenty of other bars … Continue reading “The Community Conundrum”

March 12, 2017

Power Pays

by Matthew Steeples

That a convicted paedophile is able to avoid a jail sentence is an utter disgrace especially given pensioners get locked up for non-payment of TV licence fees; Old Etonian Andrew Picard shouldn’t be on the streets, he should be in the clink   Andrew Picard (AKA Andrew Laurence and Andrew Boeckman) was caught with 1,185 … Continue reading “Power Pays”

Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable

by Matthew Steeples

Facebook page where Whitstable locals spend time moaning and arguing will have you in hysterics; welcome to an example of a modern day spouting place for ‘Busybody Britain’   You’ll likely have come across the Facebook page ‘Overheard in Waitrose’. It has garnered over 500,000 likes since its inception in April 2014, but, for those … Continue reading “Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable”

March 11, 2017

Rent-a-Gob v. Rent-a-Gob

by Matthew Steeples

Acid tongued food blogger Jack Monroe’s libel victory over right wing media personality Katie Hopkins represents a victory for only their lawyers   Katie Hopkins undoubtedly spouts a lot of hot air but that she lost a libel action yesterday brought by the acid tongued food blogger Jack “I don’t want my boobs anymore” Monroe … Continue reading “Rent-a-Gob v. Rent-a-Gob”

February 24, 2017

Jog On Jenner

by Matthew Steeples

Caitlyn Jenner proves herself to be truly hypocritical; it is time this self-publicist were simply ignored   Caitlyn Jenner is a person with nothing else on her agenda other than keeping herself in the public eye. This transgender ‘reality star’ appeared to support Donald Trump’s election campaign in 2016, spoke at the Republican National Convention … Continue reading “Jog On Jenner”

February 13, 2017

Warring Ward

by Matthew Steeples

Champagne swiller Dawn Ward “at war” with one-time friend and fellow WAG and cast member of ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’ Leanne Brown   Yesterday, The Sun on Sunday reported that a favourite of all at The Steeple Times, Dawn Ward, is “at war over a £500,000 loan”.   43-year old Mrs Ward, whose attempts … Continue reading “Warring Ward”

January 30, 2017

The Whinging Wintertons

by Matthew Steeples

Former MPs Sir Nicolas Winterton and his wife Ann are not worthy of a glowing set of memoirs – Instead, this pair of ghastly grabbers deserve all the criticism ever thrown at them   Excerpts from Sir Nicholas and his equally bombastically ghastly wife Lady (Ann) Winterton’s daughter’s memoirs about her parents’ career were published … Continue reading “The Whinging Wintertons”

January 27, 2017

Getting Ghastly

by Matthew Steeples

Society bible ‘Tatler’ is wrong to take issue with the word “ghastly”   Joanna Lumley once described the phrase “quality time” as “ghastly” and she was right. Mary Berry used the same word to describe reality programmes and Rupert Everett considers marriage to be exactly that too. “Ghastly” is a word that has many uses … Continue reading “Getting Ghastly”

January 25, 2017

Wally of the Week – Sarah Vine

by Matthew Steeples

Backstabber Michael Gove’s wife’s attack on Gina Miller confirms her for what she truly is – Sarah Vine is nothing but an OKA loving wally   In this morning’s Daily Mail, the wife of the traitorous, creepy Tory politician Michael Gove MP, Sarah Vine, penned a catty and badly written diatribe attacking Gina Miller as … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Sarah Vine”

Trumping Wildenstein

by Matthew Steeples

‘Catwoman’ Jocelyn Wildenstein puts her Trump World Tower apartment on the market after recent court appearance for “clawing” her boyfriend’s face   “No showings before 12pm” shouts the listing on realtor Douglas Elliman’s homepage and given how the owner of the property they’re currently selling no doubt looks of a morning, one need not wonder … Continue reading “Trumping Wildenstein”

January 24, 2017

Mind Your Mariella

by Matthew Steeples

Mariella Frostup heartlessly berates a woman married to an alcoholic   Mariella Frostrup was described as having “the sexiest female voice on TV” in 2008. She was born in Norway, is the daughter of an alcoholic and has political views described as “a bit left-of-centre”. She hob-knobs with Gerard Butler, Graydon Carter, George Clooney and … Continue reading “Mind Your Mariella”

January 17, 2017

Seeking Truth

by Matthew Steeples

Circumstances of George Michael’s death questioned by former friend Andros Georgiou   In 2012, George Michael’s “childhood friend” – this morning described by the Mail Online as his “cousin” – Andros Georgiou told The Sun: “The last thing I would ever want is for one of us to be standing over the other’s grave, wishing … Continue reading “Seeking Truth”

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