Mon Apr 24, 2017 London
X

What is Lorem Ipsum?
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

Why do we use it?
It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using 'Content here, content here', making it look like readable English. Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for 'lorem ipsum' will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

Where can I get some?
There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don't look even slightly believable. If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn't anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet. It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

Degenerates and Dr Nastro

Matthew Steeples alerts event hosts in London to Dr Nastro, Ian Thomas and their merry gang of party crashing cohorts

 

Last Wednesday, in London, around twenty gatecrashers arrived at a party I was co-hosting.

 

‘Invited’ by someone named Ian Thomas and a character who goes by the plainly invented moniker of ‘Dr Nastro’ (operating from papanastro@yahoo.co.uk), these degenerates appeared mostly brandishing a doctored invite that came without anything other than timings and an address. It came with a note above it from ‘Dr Nastro’ reading “Embassy of X, invites you to taste of X” and instructions to “please come early, no RSVP required”.

 

Amongst those to arrive and be turned away were usual suspects such as David Pun – no surprises there – and several badly dressed women with the scruffiest shoes known to man. Told at the door that they couldn’t come in (with Pun being urged to “get back to Harvey Nick’s”), these people resorted to yelling abuse at the staff and one went as far as to tell me I was “a racist” and claimed I’d “be prosecuted”. He ranted at a distinguished lady and described her as “a dirty woman” and, as he left, yelled: “Elitist, comprehensive school educated bigots”.

 

Others in the ‘party’ numbered two ‘Housewives’ from Fulham. I nearly caved in and let them in given how ‘Desperate’ (not in the Eva Longoria sense) they looked, but rightly the doorman sent them on their merry way. The IDS-lookalike muttered and moaned for a moment before heading off into the cold night and in spite of not even the grabbing granny and Donald Trump-lookalike Eva Harold daring to join them, Mr Frizzy and the chap that pretends to be a jockey complained: “You’ve made us feel uncomfortable”.

 

The next morning, a missive was sent to my co-host by a man named Phil P. Kelly of a never-heard-of before Twitter account @HowToEnjoyLDN. He moaned: “When we made a choice and went all the way, to what turned out to be a gin tasting event, a member of your staff rejected us because we had not RSVPed! This surprised us, as no RSVP was specified in the original invite, copied below. Or was it? Can you enlighten us further?”

 

After reading the accompanying forwarded message, I contacted the source, Dr Nastro. He answered with various excuses and claimed: “This has nothing to do with me”. He added: “I’ve been told it was someone called Ian Thomas who creates a party list weekly and my name has been used to forward to his friends”.

 

In a further missive, without even yet even the hint of an apology, the not-so-good doctor added:

 

“I got a lots [sic] of emails sent to me. I don’t remember that one. Maybe I could have sent it on. I did not know this was your event. I don’t really go to these type of events. I mainly see Pun at art gallaries [sic] making a nuisance of himself”.

 

Told by return “’maybe’ is a very convenient word” by me, he then bizarrely responded with an invite to a preview event at an art gallery named ‘Unit London’ that very evening. He explained: “If you would like to meet here, we could talk about it”.

 

I responded with the comment: “I am astounded. You now invite me to someone else’s event. Is that even appropriate given what you did to my event by inviting people who shouldn’t ever have been invited?” and contacted ‘Unit London’ and alerted them of his plan to crash their event.

 

Dr Nastro’s last email followed minutes later: “I will not send anyone to your events again, you need to find who leaked your invite… I’ve just been banned from The Unit. Can we leave it at that?” We can now.

 

Comments

7 comments on “Degenerates and Dr Nastro”

  1. The grabbing granny Eva Harold missed out on this one. How funny. She must be spitting feathers at missing a free knees up. I’ve seen her hoover up canapés and down champagne so many times and must say she’s nothing but sick in the head.

    1. She can’t be any worse than that Sandra Shevey. Ms Shevey has perfected the art of eating whilst talking and without having to stop and take a breath. It’s quite impressive to watch.

      1. Sandra Shevey has currently taken to Twitter to campaign for a Blue Plaque. A straightjacket seems more appropriate. What a silly mare.

  2. Papanastro a/k/a Nasti and his girlfriend Frida are regular liggers on the scene. Part of their gang includes Robert, a/k/a Mr Frizzy, Sergei, the Julian Assange lookalike, Ali (a big fat, bearded Pakisani guy with rimmed glasses), Toby Evans (the quiet one who looks like Micheal Gove), Patrick (who bears more than a passing resemblance to Mitt Romney), and the aforementioned David Pun. Sounds like you had a lucky escape there.

  3. I am glad that I am not the only person being terrorised by this unsightly freak show. As a promoter I am aware of most of the above mentioned degenerates. I have seen it all from this bunch. I have personally witnessed “mr frizzy” stealing a whole salmon by placing it inside his jacket and picking bits off to munch on throughout the evening. Quite a spectacle it was. The “dr nastro” is a man with the foulest smelling breath you could ever imagine leaving an ungodly stench in the ladies toilet on several occasions. Why he chooses to use the ladies and not the gents does make one wonder. Hygiene levels of this bunch would give Kim and Aggie a heart attack I shudder to think what their homes are like. I imagine they would be like the inside of a soho dusbin. I have heard that The famous Mr Pun has been telling stories of being being a Concord pilot and saving it from a crash mid Atlantic recently what a hero. I wish every organiser and promoter the best of luck dealing with these vermin. It’s a shame rentokill can’t get shot of them

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *