Wed Jun 19, 2019 London
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MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of societyA chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith

Lottery scratch card faker Jonny Smith made an utter fool of himself (and won’t now be shopping at Waitrose)

 

In the wake of the scandal of the grabbing granny who attempted to cheat her way to a £33 million share of a National Lottery jackpot, The Mirror has exposed a similarly shameless yet stupid man who tried to fake his way to winning on a scratch card.

 

Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith
Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith
Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith
Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith

 

Writing on the National Lottery’s Facebook page, Jonny Smith stated:

 

“Hi National Lottery! I bought this scratchcard recently and as you can clearly see I have revealed three £250,000 figures in the end column meaning I should be able to start shopping at Waitrose in the near future”.

 

“Unfortunately both bar codes on the reverse side have been removed by a small fire”.

 

“This completely accidental inferno has also damaged the game number on the front side”.

 

“I may also add that due to my clumsiness, in a completely separate incident I have also spilt pen ink on the other identifying number in the game column”.

 

“Just my bloody luck eh!?”

 

“Just to conclude, if you don’t mind sending me a direct message to confirm that this is a winner I would be more than happy to pass on my postal address so you can send me my winners cheque”.

 

“Yours in honesty and trust, Jonny Smith”.

 

A National Lottery representative cleverly responded:

 

“We have investigated this image for you, we can tell that the ‘small fire’ that the scratch card was involved with, was very selective and clearly didn’t like the barcodes, we suggest that you completely fire proof your home to avoid such instances from happening again”.

 

“It may also be handy if you no longer use ink pens and buy pencils from now on to avoid another ink spillage”.

 

“Furthermore, looking at the image very closely it has come to our attention that the extra £250,000 on the top right hand corner has been placed carefully, however we recommend that you invest in some proper glue”.

 

“To conclude, we won’t be sending you a direct message requesting your details as this won’t be necessary, we would like to thank you for your time to contact us, we wish you every success in the future with our games – and maybe, just maybe one day you will be able to shop at Waitrose”.

 

“If you are unhappy with the outcome you can email us on thisisnotawin@national-lottery.co.uk for further investigation”.

 

Brought to book, our Wally of the Week responded: “To summarise, I don’t think I’m getting 250k”.

 

 

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Comments

7 comments on “Wally of the Week: Jonny Smith”

  1. He was having a laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surely you don’t think he was being serious?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Didn’t some gentleman claim on insurance for his very expensive cigars that got destroyed by fire, and got his payout? Only to be arrested for arson. I guess it was an urban myth. Thanks to the Mirror, we are up to date with essential news. .

  3. If he ever achieves his ambition he will be surprised to find that all the posh people (as he would say) have now started shopping at Lidl because the same food is 30 per cent cheaper and it as the best smoked salmon of any supermarket in Britain. I have spotted more toffs in the local Barnstaple branch than anywhere else, a baronet and an earl in there at the same time on one occasion ! Bloody funny really reminds me of that parody of the Stealers Wheel song” I’ve got chavs to the left of me pikeys to the right and I’m stuck in a Lidl with you”.

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