Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
In a departure from our normal mix, all of this week’s clangers come from a duo overheard at a bar. Both are Chelsea toffs – or consider themselves such – and both were a little beyond over refreshed.
On state schools:
The blonde: “State schools only teach World War Two”.
The baldy: “I’m not surprised. They’re all so left wing, the teachers”.
The blonde: “No. It’s because it’s easier. They only want to teach the popular and the easy”.
The baldy: “And the anti-fascist. And the pro-communist. Close ‘em all down”.
On the Catholic Church:
The baldy: “The Catholic Church are like the Brexiteers. They just wanted to take back control.
The blonde: “No. They just want to protect the paedophiles”.
On fancy dress:
The blonde: “Fancy dress parties are only for people without the ability to make no conversation”.
The baldy: “Oh. Really? I went to one last week”.
On the Mail Online:
The blonde: “I do read the Mail Online every morning. I’ll admit it. People think I’m posh but in my heart I know I want to live like a chav”.
On Scottish devolution:
The baldy: “In Scotland you’ve got two lezzers. I’d say it’s time for a male revolution”.
The baldy: “You never know who’s sitting where when there is a war. For f**k’s sake. War is war. Bring on the next one”.
On joining a bishop:
The baldy: “I joined the Bishop of Exeter once”.
The blonde: “What? Like joining the Masons?”
The baldy: “No like joining him for dinner”.
On David Cameron:
The baldy: “David Cameron should be locked up for crimes against the Conservative Party. People want Tony Blair locked up. I want that pr**k locked up in the cell next door”.
On Jeremy Corbyn:
The blonde: “Now, Corbyn… He’s Hitler reincarnated. Just accept it”.
Submit comments you hear to firstname.lastname@example.org. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:[wysija_form id=”1″]