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The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

  • We have 91,000 daily subscribers by email.

  • We typically average around 320,000 unique views per day.

  • We currently have 65 contributing authors who range from students to the actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff and the champion jockey Frankie Dettori.

Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".

 

The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.

 

Tag: joke

January 21, 2019

Birthday Bigots

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests the ‘Daily Mail’ simply conformed to type in attacking James Stunt on his birthday   ‘The Daily Fail’ is always capable of conforming to type. In deciding to attack James Stunt on his very own birthday, this cowardly rag went too far.   That they alleged that a successful businessman couldn’t afford … Continue reading “Birthday Bigots”

October 31, 2018

Snowflake Society

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples supports William Sitwell and suggests his employer Waitrose develop a better moral compass before attacking him   Aristocrats have a habit of saying stupid things. That’s a fact but equally that millennials now take offence at a bit of banter is something quite more ludicrous.   Outrage has ensued this week after a … Continue reading “Snowflake Society”

November 22, 2017

Illuminating the Illuminati

by Matthew Steeples

As ‘The Guardian’ explores the power of the Illuminati, Matthew Steeples argues that the few claiming links to such are nothing but mad, old cranks   This morning, The Guardian’s Martha Gill asked: “What is the Illuminati?” in an article that jokingly suggested Googling such would put one at “great personal risk.”   Referencing the … Continue reading “Illuminating the Illuminati”

October 17, 2017

Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley

by Matthew Steeples

Sanctimonious champagne grabber Richard Madeley makes inappropriate joke about alleged abuser Harvey Weinstein   Richard Madeley rather loves the sound of his own voice. Decades ago he formed part of a tediously sanctimonious duo known to the nation as ‘Richard and Judy’ but now this irritating pair – though surprisingly still married – pretty much … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley”

October 16, 2017

More on Menéndez

by Matthew Steeples

As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ and brands their conviction for killing their wealthy parents “imperfect self-defence”   Renewed interest in the 1989 murders of the multi-millionaires José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez by their sons, Erik and Lyle, has … Continue reading “More on Menéndez”

July 12, 2017

Viscount Porridge

by Matthew Steeples

Thrice bankrupt bigot Viscount St Davids banged to rights and set to be jailed Thursday; he blames Gina Miller as “untruthful” and Matthew Steeples as “an eavesdropper” and accepts utterly no blame for what he did   On Thursday, if he doesn’t turn up at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on time, justice will come knock, knock, … Continue reading “Viscount Porridge”

May 19, 2017

Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

by General

Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters [Soleil and Winter] as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told the Mail Online: “My husband says I have my own unique currency of holidays. I compare everything to the … Continue reading “Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor”

May 8, 2017

Brenda from Bristol

by General

Pearl clad pensioner ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of the 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a BBC reporter. This 75-year old retired secretary spoke for the nation in remarking: “You’re joking? Not another one!” Oh for God’s sake, I can’t honestly… I can’t stand this. There’s too much … Continue reading “Brenda from Bristol”

November 29, 2016

A Reminder of What Is To Come

by Matthew Steeples

Donald Trump on ‘Saturday Night Live’ back in 2015 needs to be viewed again; it might be comedy but now it looks like an especially scary indicator of what is yet to come   Back in 2015, Donald Trump and his daughter, Ivanka, appeared in a sketch on Saturday Night Live.   At the time, … Continue reading “A Reminder of What Is To Come”

July 9, 2015

Video of the Week: #PleaseNotThem

by Matthew Steeples

National Lottery make a cringeworthy advert featuring Piers Morgan as part of their #PleaseNotThem promotion

January 2, 2015

Andy Carroll and Billi Mucklow

by General

Professional footballer Andy Carroll earns £85,000 a week and has 283,000 followers on Twitter.

December 27, 2014

Randy Harris

by General

The son of businessman King Harris and publishing heiress Anne Hearst McInerney, Randy Harris celebrated his 21st birthday party at the ‘21’ Club in 2012

March 27, 2014

Turn off the Kinnock

by Matthew Steeples

Neil Kinnock is a loathesome oaf   When Neil Kinnock held a celebration prior to the 1992 General Election, he made an utter prat of himself and guaranteed Labour’s subsequent thrashing at the polls. That The Sun ran the headline “Will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights” spoke volumes but … Continue reading “Turn off the Kinnock”

July 6, 2013

Katie Hopkins (nicknames include The Wicked Witch of the West, Cruella De Vil, Widow Twanky, Miss Piggy and Patrick Bateman)

by Matthew Steeples

Born in Barnstaple, Hopkins is a serial reality contestant who is serially capable of making seriously stupid remarks. This blonde blabbermouth was once a stand-by contestant for Big Brother and appeared on both The Apprentice and I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! in 2007. During and after her stint in competitive television, Hopkins … Continue reading “Katie Hopkins (nicknames include The Wicked Witch of the West, Cruella De Vil, Widow Twanky, Miss Piggy and Patrick Bateman)”

May 3, 2013

Picture of the week: A shining horror

by Matthew Steeples

The BNP’s candidate for South Shields shines and trends   Dorothy Brooke, who calls herself “Lady Dorothy MacBeth Brooke”, had to be our picture of the week. This platinum blonde has what is quite possibly the most over tanned face on the planet.  

April 27, 2013

Picture of the week: Cracking up

by Matthew Steeples

The most unlikely of bedfellows, crack cocaine and judges   Our picture of the week was kindly supplied by barrister James Dove. It features two advertisements spotted in London.  

December 4, 2012

Dame Judi Dench CH, DBE, FRSA

by Matthew Steeples

Undoubtedly best known as one of the greatest actresses of the post-war period, Yorkshire born Dench briefly played Pru Forrest in the BBC’s The Archers. She’s an advocate for “more progressive drug policies” and only took the role of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride & Prejudice after director Joe Wright wrote to her and … Continue reading “Dame Judi Dench CH, DBE, FRSA”

December 1, 2012

The Media: Friend or foe?

by steepleadmin

Sarah Tucker shares her experiences on a panel discussing the outcomes of Leveson   Journalist and author Sarah Tucker was one of the panelists at a talk at the Richmond Literary Festival on Thursday evening. By chance, since it coincided with the publication of the Leveson Report, the panel’s discussion naturally focused on that. Here … Continue reading “The Media: Friend or foe?”

November 16, 2012

Put a sock in it

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples takes a look at the farcical results of the PCC elections   A former ambassador to the US undiplomatically Tweeted the following an hour or two ago: “Prezza beaten. Humberside policing saved.” His dovetailed stooge, one Mowbray Jackson, added: “Tiresome tub thumper ‘Lord’ Prescott rejected in PCC election. There is a god.”   … Continue reading “Put a sock in it”

November 15, 2012

Liz Jones

by Matthew Steeples

This mouthpiece was born in Rettendon, Essex in 1958 and vents bile on all manner of subjects. Articles such as: “Why don’t more women moan like me?” and “Liz Jones’ baby craving drove her to steal husband’s sperm in ultimate deception” are frankly illustrative of why she’s so unpopular. After she got banned from the … Continue reading “Liz Jones”

November 12, 2012

The battleaxe in the Beemer

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples examines the truth behind Liz Jones giving up on her “rural idyll”   The Mail’s Liz Jones is a waspish woman who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Those who’ve paid even a moment’s attention to her bleating, will be familiar with lines such as: “Last week, my brand … Continue reading “The battleaxe in the Beemer”

October 9, 2012

Sophie Michell: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times asks the chef, author and television personality Sophie Michell: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?  “Independence and the life choices that come with it.”    “Never regret, never explain, never apologise” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours? As … Continue reading “Sophie Michell: “What’s on your mantelpiece?””

October 4, 2012

Come Dine With Me in K&C

by Matthew Steeples

An opportunity for readers based in Kensington & Chelsea to take part in the cult television series “Come Dine With Me”   Many of you will have watched an episode of Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me or at least glimpsed five minutes of this car crash television series.   For those who do not … Continue reading “Come Dine With Me in K&C”

September 30, 2012

Picture of the Week: The two faces of Ahmadinejad

by Matthew Steeples

Contrasting images of President Ahmadinejad   In a departure, this week we have two The Steeple Times pictures of the week. They were separately taken but both feature President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. Whilst one shows a fawning television presenter interviewing this madman, the other illustrates a courageous lady sticking a finger up to him. … Continue reading “Picture of the Week: The two faces of Ahmadinejad”

April 27, 2012

Trenton Oldfield

by Matthew Steeples

He swam into the path of the Oxford vessel in the 2012 Xchanging Boat Race. Oldfield claimed to be protesting about “elitism” but it transpired that he was himself educated at a private school and the LSE. His hypocrisy knows no bounds and thankfully he ended up in the clink.

April 8, 2012

Keep your oar out Oldfield

by Matthew Steeples

Profile: Trenton Oldfield: the man who temporarily halted the 2012 Boat Race   “Why are the right such angry people?” asked @NotAGateway, the shared Twitter account of Deepa Naik and her boyfriend Trenton Oldfield yesterday afternoon.   In this comment, Oldfield, who had just managed to swim into the path of the Oxford boat in … Continue reading “Keep your oar out Oldfield”

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