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Tag: Mail Online

June 11, 2017

Politics With The Pun

by Matthew Steeples

David Pun gobbled his way through General Election 2017 and was captured on camera by a Mail on Sunday reporter   Mail on Sunday reporter Ned Donovan secured the photo of the evening on General Election night 2017 in capturing party crasher extraordinaire David Pun at the Institute of Directors in Pall Mall, London in … Continue reading “Politics With The Pun”

May 20, 2017

Basement It Like Beckham

by Matthew Steeples

Former Algerian Embassy in Holland Park for sale for £30 million; the detached stucco house needs complete renovation and counts David and Victoria Beckham as neighbours   The former Embassy of the People’s Democratic Republic of Algeria in Holland Park, W11 has just been placed for sale for the sum of £30 million ($39.1 million, … Continue reading “Basement It Like Beckham”

May 19, 2017

Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

by General

Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters [Soleil and Winter] as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told the Mail Online: “My husband says I have my own unique currency of holidays. I compare everything to the … Continue reading “Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor”

May 15, 2017

Double Bollocks

by Matthew Steeples

Politicians Lady Nugee and Sir Michael Fallon BOTH make total and utter fools of themselves over links to murderous dictator Bashar al-Assad   Yesterday Labour’s Lady Nugee – a ridiculous woman who prefers to go by the name ‘The Rt. Hon. Emily Thornberry MP’ – succeeded in making a fool out of The Rt. Hon … Continue reading “Double Bollocks”

May 12, 2017

Carina Reid

by General

Thieving Chelsea based trollop Carina Reid was labeled “arrogant”, “extremely boorish” and a fraudster by a judge in May 2017. Often spotted in the now defunct La Brasserie restaurant, this tarty so-called beautician was jailed for three years in May 2016 and ordered to pay back £50,000 she’d falsely claimed in benefits a year later. … Continue reading “Carina Reid”

May 8, 2017

Brenda from Bristol

by General

Pearl clad pensioner ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of the 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a BBC reporter. This 75-year old retired secretary spoke for the nation in remarking: “You’re joking? Not another one!” Oh for God’s sake, I can’t honestly… I can’t stand this. There’s too much … Continue reading “Brenda from Bristol”

May 4, 2017

Dastardly Diane

by Matthew Steeples

Diane Abbott MP, a woman unable to grasp numbers, revealed to be perfectly capable of grabbing as much as she can for her very own pocket   Quite capable of whining about supposedly being unfairly targeted by so-called trolls in spite of being in the pay of and thus accountable to the public, Britain’s most … Continue reading “Dastardly Diane”

April 24, 2017

Marked by Mice

by Matthew Steeples

Scott’s in Mayfair to reopen after closing due to a mice infestation; Montpeliano remains open in spite of receiving a Food Standards Agency rating of zero out of five   Today, Scott’s restaurant in Mount Street, Mayfair reopens after having been closed for six days for what they called “a spring clean and revamp”.   … Continue reading “Marked by Mice”

April 21, 2017

Tiresome Tariq

by Matthew Steeples

Braggart businessman Tarriq Siddiqi is nothing but tiresome and tedious   Tariq Siddiqi is anything but modest. On his Twitter handle, he is pictured on a motorbike next to a Lamborghini. He describes himself there as being “recognized as the most experienced backgammon player in the UK” and introduces his persona on Facebook with the … Continue reading “Tiresome Tariq”

April 20, 2017

Backing Best for Britain

by Matthew Steeples

Gina Miller achieves 1,000% of target in less than 24 hours in crowdfunding drive to fund tactical voting initiative against hard Brexit   On Wednesday, businesswoman and philanthropist Gina Miller launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise £10,000 to “support the country’s biggest tactical voting drive ever and stop extreme Brexit”. Within twenty-four hours, that target … Continue reading “Backing Best for Britain”

April 19, 2017

Mugged by May

by Matthew Steeples

Theresa May’s gamble to go to the country will likely pay off, but is it good for Britain?   Theresa May supposedly decided to go call a snap election after a trip to church and a walking holiday with her garden gnome-like husband, Philip, in Wales over Easter. She has taken a gamble but given … Continue reading “Mugged by May”

April 16, 2017

Failing to Come Together

by Matthew Steeples

Whilst Theresa May’s Easter message is nothing but a damp squib, Jeremy Corbyn’s response is as much use as a chocolate teapot   “Let us come together… Let us build a stronger, fairer Britain that works for everyone”, clucked Theresa May on Sunday in a 3:10 minute Easter message posted on YouTube.   Mixing her … Continue reading “Failing to Come Together”

April 15, 2017

Carol Bowditch

by Matthew Steeples

Whilst the problem play The Goat, or who is Sylvia? – which, in a 2017 adaptation, starred Damian Lewis as a man who falls head over heels for a goat named Sylvia – shocked many, pensioner Carol Bowditch is a true life example of someone whom repeatedly engaged in carnal activities with animals. Spared jail … Continue reading “Carol Bowditch”

April 13, 2017

Martina Big

by Matthew Steeples

Born white in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany in 1989, but now perceived by many to be black, “pneumatic chested” Martina Big increased her cleavage to a 32S and “turned her pale skin a deep mahogany shade that draws stares from strangers everywhere she goes”. A former air hostess turned glamour model, Miss Big appeared on ITV1’s This … Continue reading “Martina Big”

April 12, 2017

A Balls-Up

by Matthew Steeples

Shame on ‘The Sun’ for publishing a non-story about a child being hit by a football in Belgrave Square; the ball was kicked by a girl who was with the footballer Cesc Fàbregas   On Wednesday, the The Sun indulged in one of their most sensationalist pieces of journalism in recent months when they published … Continue reading “A Balls-Up”

April 11, 2017

K&C Doesn’t Care

by Matthew Steeples

As 50% of care homes in Kensington & Chelsea are rated “inadequate”, we suggest this reflects what the area has become: A money park for the selfish rich   A society that does not care for its elderly is, as the Pope pointed out in 2015, a “perverse society” and bizarrely, it has just been … Continue reading “K&C Doesn’t Care”

April 4, 2017

Blabbermouth Burrell

by Matthew Steeples

Butler-turned-blabbermouth Paul Burrell sinks to a new low; he should retreat to Siberia and live out his days privately   Cat-like Paul Burrell again and again reinvents himself. Somehow, in spite of already having undeservedly exhausted more than nine lives, this ghastly individual is back in the press and this time he’s milking the story … Continue reading “Blabbermouth Burrell”

March 30, 2017

Narrow in Knightsbridge

by Matthew Steeples

Tiny 2.5-foot deep Knightsbridge “corridor house” sells for £810,000 at auction   Yesterday, at an auction in London, a 2.5-foot deep (at its minimum) and 3-foot deep (at its maximum) mews house sold for £810,000 ($1 million, €936,000 or درهم3.7 million) despite being nothing more than a very long corridor.   Extending to 275 square … Continue reading “Narrow in Knightsbridge”

March 19, 2017

Hero of the Hour – John Prescott

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Prescott is entirely right to suggest Jeremy Corbyn unfit to be Labour’s leader just as he was spot on about Sir Christopher “did nothing” Meyer over phone hacking   According to The Mail on Sunday, last Wednesday, at a meeting of the Labour party, the former Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, told Jeremy Corbyn: … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – John Prescott”

February 13, 2017

Warring Ward

by Matthew Steeples

Champagne swiller Dawn Ward “at war” with one-time friend and fellow WAG and cast member of ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’ Leanne Brown   Yesterday, The Sun on Sunday reported that a favourite of all at The Steeple Times, Dawn Ward, is “at war over a £500,000 loan”.   43-year old Mrs Ward, whose attempts … Continue reading “Warring Ward”

January 10, 2017

Panic Over The Price

by Matthew Steeples

Vast New York triplex with three bullet-proof panic rooms at The Heritage at Trump Place reduced in price by 47%; Is the Trump connection a factor?   In 2012, a Saudi royal placed a fifth, sixth and seventh triplex he “rarely uses” on the market for £61.7 million ($75 million, €71 million or درهم275.5 million). … Continue reading “Panic Over The Price”

January 7, 2017

Auntie’s Hardly Ruined

by Matthew Steeples

BBC executives drink surprisingly little gin, yet the Mail Online make rather a fuss about it   On Saturday, the Mail Online published an article about the BBC spending £115,049 on wine, beer and spirits in 2013, 2014 and 2015 following a Freedom of Information Request.   The paper surprisingly focused on a total spending … Continue reading “Auntie’s Hardly Ruined”

December 9, 2016

A Catty Catastrophe

by Matthew Steeples

‘Bride of Wildenstein’ got her claws out in New York; her boyfriend learns a lesson about playing with cats   Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes once remarked: “Those who’ll play with cats must expect to be scratched” and now, it seems, 76-year old plastic surgery obsessive and feline lookalike Jocelyn Wildenstein’s boyfriend has ended up … Continue reading “A Catty Catastrophe”

November 27, 2016

The Times They are a-Changin’ (and All it Takes is a Tweet)

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples highlights the workings and truths behind the changed political landscape of 2016   2016 will be remembered as the year when the world flipped convention on its head. With the brutal monster Fidel Castro finally gone, Donald Trump headed for The White House and Brexit in Britain, comes a new era but it … Continue reading “The Times They are a-Changin’ (and All it Takes is a Tweet)”

November 26, 2016

Gianna Lahainer

by General

“One-time secretary” Gianna Lahainer hit gold when she married a Palm Beach real estate tycoon named Frank Lahainer. He “indulged her every whim” and she is said to have a 25-carat engagement ring from Harry Winston, a white Rolls-Royce Corniche, a 32-carat sapphire, and a 26-carat emerald. When he died of leukemia and left her … Continue reading “Gianna Lahainer”

November 13, 2016

Baba Vanga (баба Ванга, AKA ‘Nostradamus from the Balkans’, 1911 – 1996)

by General

This blind, illiterate, psychic Macedonian villager predicted everything from 9/11 – in suggesting that “the American brethren would be attacked by two steel birds” in 2001 many years earlier in 1989 – to an African-American being the 44th US President. Baba Vanga got it right on the “great Muslim war” that started with the Arab … Continue reading “Baba Vanga (баба Ванга, AKA ‘Nostradamus from the Balkans’, 1911 – 1996)”

October 23, 2016

Meyer’s Oar

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Christopher Meyer pompously sticks his oar in (yet again)   Sir Christopher Meyer, a pompous man who rather enjoys the sound of his own dulcet tones a little too much, penned a column for this week’s Mail on Sunday in which he endorsed Hillary Clinton’s campaign to become President of the United States of … Continue reading “Meyer’s Oar”

August 11, 2016

A paedophile profits

by Matthew Steeples

Jailed paedophile Rolf Harris set to profit from sale of first original work since he was jailed   Since he was jailed, no painting by the filthy paedophile Rolf Harris has been sold at auction. That’s now about to change given a work by the disgraced 85-year old is being offered in an online auction … Continue reading “A paedophile profits”

A Monarch’s Mulsanne

by Matthew Steeples

Bentley Mulsanne used by the Queen between 2012 and 2014 offered for sale for £70,000 more than a similar car without royal heritage

March 16, 2016

Ex-ing Rutland

by Matthew Steeples

Evening Standard describes Tamara Ecclestone’s husband Jay Rutland as her “ex-husband”; do they know something the public have yet to learn?

February 15, 2016

Selling Clifford

by Matthew Steeples

Max Clifford attempts to sell his bland and frankly boring £3.45 million Surrey home for a million more than he paid for it

February 8, 2016

A contemporary castle

by Matthew Steeples

Welsh castle with a difference for sale for £3.9 million

January 11, 2016

Hurley and Spink

by Matthew Steeples

Redcliffe Road house by the developer of Britain’s most expensive home that is situated opposite the London residence of Liz Hurley offered for sale for £4.75 million

December 20, 2015

Max Whitlock (nicknamed “Maxi”)

by General

Hemel Hempstead born gymnast Max Whitlock performed a spectacular dance routine on a piano at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards in 2015 and became the first British male World Gymnastics Champion at the age of 22.

December 10, 2015

Stunt stops a sale

by Matthew Steeples

Petra Ecclestone and her husband James Stunt reported to have turned down £99 million offer for their Holmby Hills, California mansion

December 6, 2015

Sam Hoare

by General

Eton and University of Edinburgh educated actor and director Sam Hoare has appeared in everything from Eastenders and Blandings to Captain America.

November 19, 2015

Wally of the Week: Mark Clarke

by Matthew Steeples

Former Conservative activist Mark Clarke is nothing but a nasty piece of work and it is right that he has been expelled

November 6, 2015

Curried Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

After Cliff Richard was re-interviewed by police this week, what did he do? He headed off for a curry and said he would be returning to South Yorkshire again

October 31, 2015

A tawdry trio

by Matthew Steeples

As Amanda Clutterbuck and Ian Paton lose their attempt to reclaim £14 million worth of Kensington and Chelsea properties that they signed over to the ‘Vamp in the Veil’ Sara Al Amoudi, we suggest all three are nothing but tawdry

September 25, 2015

Shovingtini

by Matthew Steeples

Belgravia restaurant Salmontini named in court in relation to a shoving match between pop singer Sinitta Malone and ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’s’ Dawn Ward

August 3, 2015

August shockers

by Matthew Steeples

Isn’t it time we saved “being shocked” for times when it is really required? Not in August it seems

July 28, 2015

Beaten by Bloomberg

by Matthew Steeples

Michael Bloomberg offers £2 million above the £15 million asking price to see off three other bidders and buys George Eliot’s house by the River Thames

July 16, 2015

The surprising rise of Alexa Chung

by Matthew Steeples

Why does Alexa Chung generate so many column inches? The answer remains shrouded in mystery suggests Matthew Steeples

Edward Holcroft

by General

Named the “UK’s star of tomorrow” by Screen Daily in 2014, Edward Holcroft has also been described as “a remarkable actor, a remarkable man” by fellow actor Mark Rylance.

July 14, 2015

Alexandra Tolstoy FRGS

by General

The daughter of the contentious author Count Nikolai Tolstoy, divorcée Alexandra Tolstoy is a woman who ridiculously claims to struggle to live on £10,000 per week.

July 13, 2015

Gillian Clarke (1941 – 2015)

by General

The late daughter of schoolteachers from Sidcup, Kent and a mother of two, Gillian Clarke met her Conservative politician husband Kenneth at Cambridge in 1963.

July 10, 2015

Alex Hope

by General

A catering manager turned Ponzi schemer and conman, Canary Wharf based Alex Hope blamed everyone but himself for his demise.

July 2, 2015

Trumping Macy’s

by Matthew Steeples

Will Donald Trump destroy every business relationship he has as part of his bid to become President of the United States of America?

June 30, 2015

Bring your own bidet

by Matthew Steeples

Most expensive house to be publicly offered for sale in the UK to be stripped of everything including the kitchen sink

June 29, 2015

Wally of the Week: Alison Saunders

by Matthew Steeples

Now Alison Saunders has been proven wrong for having failed to charge Lord Janner with child sex offences, she should resign or be sacked

Kevin Wheatcroft

by General

The owner of Donington Park Racetrack, Kevin Wheatcroft is estranged from his six siblings and is bizarrely also the world’s leading collector of Nazi memorabilia.

June 19, 2015

Reverend Robert Parker

by Matthew Steeples

A controversial, twice-married, former parish priest turned multi-millionaire businessman, Derbyshire born Robert Parker left the Anglican church in 1984 and set up a chain of care homes.

June 14, 2015

Repugnant Rolf

by Matthew Steeples

Rolf Harris shows his true colours in a letter to a friend (who happily sold him down the river to the ‘Mail on Sunday’)

June 10, 2015

Thomas Gilbert Jr.

by General

Privileged and 6’3” tall, Princeton graduate Thomas Gilbert Jr. stands accused of the January 2015 slaying of his hedge fund manager father Thomas Gilbert Sr.

May 28, 2015

Boating with a Birka

by Matthew Steeples

Boat shrouded with a veil provides a reminder that it is again time to debate banning burkas in Britain

May 25, 2015

A feudal manor

by Matthew Steeples

Dorset mansion built by Bastards that has been the setting of a bitter familial feud for sale for the first time since 1846

May 24, 2015

Mhairi Black MP

by General

“Baby of the House” Mhairi Black is the youngest MP since 1880. She is a lesbian, Bible reader and supporter of Partick Thistle Football Club.

April 20, 2015

Prosecute the protectors

by Matthew Steeples

Those who have allowed Lord Janner to escape prosecution should take responsibility for their failures and those who have protected him should themselves be prosecuted

April 18, 2015

Barbarella Buchner

by General

Lanzarote based web designer Barbarella Buchner ‘married’ her cats Lugosi and Spider in January 2004.

April 2, 2015

Video of the Week: SketchShe

by Matthew Steeples

YouTube hit Australian trio SketchShe share a lip sync medley of classic tracks that will brighten your day

March 28, 2015

Emir Bahadir

by General

A co-founder of the RLTYNYC real estate brokerage and of Turkish ancestry, Emir Bahadir is a graduate of New York University.

March 23, 2015

Doing Justice

by Matthew Steeples

An 18th century former court house in Chelsea is for sale for £14.5 million or available to rent at £10,000 per week

March 12, 2015

Mohammad Al-Sharif

by General

At the age of 22 in March 2015 this Saudi playboy and wannabe member of the Rich Kids of Instagram was convicted of driving whilst unfit through drugs and fined £400.

March 7, 2015

Houses of the Holy

by Matthew Steeples

Jimmy Page wins planning dispute with neighbour Robbie Williams

February 26, 2015

The agony of abuse

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples calls upon Theresa May to take allegations of abuse more seriously in the wake of further accusations against Sir Cliff Richard

February 24, 2015

A new Dawn

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’s’ Dawn Ward attempts to sell her tastelessly decorated “Footballers’ Wives-style” home for £12 million

February 22, 2015

Messing up a McLaren

by Matthew Steeples

McLaren 650S Spider totaled in accident in Belgravia’s Eaton Square

February 16, 2015

Go, fund, gone

by Matthew Steeples

As the gofundme fundraising page for the alleged “Heathrow homeless duo” Alan Lane and Katrina Smith is removed, many ask: “Where has the money raised for them gone?”

February 8, 2015

The wrong Lane?

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples asks: “Is the story of the ‘middle class Heathrow homeless couple’ all that it seems?”

January 16, 2015

Savage Savage

by Matthew Steeples

Michael Fabricant MP is wrong to seek a lifting of the ban on shock jock Michael Savage entering Britain

January 6, 2015

Money and language

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests that the true root of ‘Andrew-gate’ is money and language

October 24, 2014

Ryan Serhant

by General

Born in Texas and educated at Hamilton College, New York, Ryan Serhant began his career as an actor on the long running series As the World Turns.

September 30, 2014

Teresa Gorman

by General

This Putney born former Conservative MP was described as being “still frisky at 81” by the Daily Mail’s Jane Fryer in October 2012.

September 24, 2014

You’ve been fenced!

by Matthew Steeples

‘Daily Mail’ publishes a non-story about a couple who are wrongly claiming to being “held prisoner” by their neighbours

September 23, 2014

Wally of the Week: Daria Radionova

by Matthew Steeples

Russian student spends £20,000 covering her £25,000 Mercedes in Swarovski crystals and then wonders why she is mocked

September 20, 2014

Miriam O’Reilly

by General

This Irish writer, journalist and presenter describes herself as having “fought ageism at the BBC and won”. Miriam O’Reilly is best known as a BBC Countryfile presenter but successfully sued the Corporation after being dropped in 2009. She subsequently returned to front the Crimewatch Roadshow with Rav Wilding before attempting and failing to become a … Continue reading “Miriam O’Reilly”

September 14, 2014

Where is David Cameron?

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests that David Cameron needs to show his hand   Yesterday, David Cameron attended the wedding of his wife’s half-brother, Jake Astor. Unlike others, we have no problem with that but at a time when Isis have beheaded a British hostage and when the Union teeters on a knife-edge, many have called for … Continue reading “Where is David Cameron?”

September 8, 2014

May May go

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests that David Cameron would do well to send Theresa May on her merry way   Those suggesting David Cameron will have to resign if Scotland votes ‘yes’ to independence are missing the point. It is not Cameron who should be under fire right now; it’s Theresa May.

September 5, 2014

Keith Floyd (1943 – 2009)

by Matthew Steeples

This wine loving chef was brought up in a council house but educated at Wellington. After finding that he and the army were “mutually incompatible”, Keith Floyd took a job as a vegetable peeler. From this humble start, he progressed to owning a number of restaurants and presenting cooking shows for the BBC. Married four … Continue reading “Keith Floyd (1943 – 2009)”

August 26, 2014

Chris and Colin Weir

by Matthew Steeples

This former Scottish Television cameraman and his ex-nurse wife won £161 million on the EuroMillions lottery in 2011 and “believe that things do happen for a reason, and that with great wealth comes great responsibilities”. Chris and Colin Weir set up a foundation, the Weir Charitable Trust, to support small, local charities and as SNP … Continue reading “Chris and Colin Weir”

August 5, 2014

Trebling gold

by Matthew Steeples

Third gold wrapped vehicle spotted in Knightsbridge   The Ferrari wrapped in gold foil that bubbled up and peeled off was eclipsed in its ridiculousness last week by a gold and black Bugatti Veyron. Now, the collection has expanded with the arrival of a gold Range Rover.

July 9, 2014

Wally of the Week: Sir Roger Moore

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Roger Moore’s joke about being poor is nothing but offensive   Quoted in the Daily Mail’s ‘Ephraim Hardcastle’ column on Wednesday, Sir Roger Moore stated that he couldn’t afford to retire because “I have to keep working to afford petrol for my Smart car”.

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