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The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

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Tag: ridiculous

May 27, 2017

The Burka Brainbox

by Matthew Steeples

Burka hating UKIPper Suzanne Evans again shows herself to be anything but a “brainbox” in a ‘Twitter spat’ with Matthew Steeples   Yesterday, I found myself having what can be best described as a ‘Twitter spat’ with UKIP’s Suzanne Evans.   Watchmaker’s daughter Evans, whose attempt to suggest the Manchester terrorist atrocity wouldn’t have happened … Continue reading “The Burka Brainbox”

May 20, 2017

The Cat That Didn’t Get The Cream

by Matthew Steeples

Though Julian Assange’s cat may have looked on smugly yesterday, all its bail jumping owner achieved was to make himself appear arrogant and ridiculous   WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has evaded British justice for 2,356 days and though, yesterday, he may have stood on a balcony and pontificated about how he won’t “forgive or forget”, … Continue reading “The Cat That Didn’t Get The Cream”

May 19, 2017

Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

by General

Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters [Soleil and Winter] as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told the Mail Online: “My husband says I have my own unique currency of holidays. I compare everything to the … Continue reading “Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor”

May 15, 2017

Double Bollocks

by Matthew Steeples

Politicians Lady Nugee and Sir Michael Fallon BOTH make total and utter fools of themselves over links to murderous dictator Bashar al-Assad   Yesterday Labour’s Lady Nugee – a ridiculous woman who prefers to go by the name ‘The Rt. Hon. Emily Thornberry MP’ – succeeded in making a fool out of The Rt. Hon … Continue reading “Double Bollocks”

May 4, 2017

The Commerce of Selfies

by Matthew Steeples

A review of the showcase of vanity that is the Saatchi Gallery’s ‘Selfie to Self-Expression’ exhibition   The first ever ‘selfie’ was supposedly taken on the roof of the Marceau studio on Fifth Avenue in New York. Featuring a photographer named Joseph Byron and his colleagues, the image was captured in December 1920 and now, … Continue reading “The Commerce of Selfies”

April 25, 2017

Michael Heaver

by General

The co-owner of the right-wing Westmonster website terms his ethnicity “milk bottle white” and claims there are “tons of burkas” on the streets of East London. Naturally a fan of Marine Le Pen and Donald Trump and of the belief that England is the land of “soft justice”, Michael Heaver loathes what he describes as … Continue reading “Michael Heaver”

April 13, 2017

Martina Big

by Matthew Steeples

Born white in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany in 1989, but now perceived by many to be black, “pneumatic chested” Martina Big increased her cleavage to a 32S and “turned her pale skin a deep mahogany shade that draws stares from strangers everywhere she goes”. A former air hostess turned glamour model, Miss Big appeared on ITV1’s This … Continue reading “Martina Big”

March 27, 2017

Bigots & Baseball Caps

by Matthew Steeples

Intolerance comes in many forms but the very worst kind is middle class hypocrisy   In a week when Damien Hirst was told: “Go home!” by animal rights activists in Venice (who also dumped 40kg of dung outside where he is due to exhibit a non-animal related show at the Palazzo Grassi), I, myself, experienced … Continue reading “Bigots & Baseball Caps”

March 12, 2017

Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable

by Matthew Steeples

Facebook page where Whitstable locals spend time moaning and arguing will have you in hysterics; welcome to an example of a modern day spouting place for ‘Busybody Britain’   You’ll likely have come across the Facebook page ‘Overheard in Waitrose’. It has garnered over 500,000 likes since its inception in April 2014, but, for those … Continue reading “Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable”

February 22, 2017

Take Me To The Gold Park

by Matthew Steeples

Outrageously over-the-top Beverly Hills pad complete with gold accessories galore goes on sale for £80 million; buyers will get a gold Lamborghini, a gold Rolls-Royce and 170 gold coloured bottles of Cristal   Sold last for £7.7 million ($9.8 million, €9.3 million or درهم36 million) in 2012 when it was a 5,926 square foot house, … Continue reading “Take Me To The Gold Park”

January 12, 2017

A Serpentine Summer House

by Matthew Steeples

Serpentine Galleries summerhouse originally installed in Kensington Gardens for sale – it’ll cost you a bit more than what you might find down at B&Q   Each summer, since the year 2000, the Serpentine Galleries have commissioned what they term a ‘pavilion’ to stand alongside their original gallery in Kensington Gardens. These have varied from … Continue reading “A Serpentine Summer House”

October 25, 2016

Powering a Wedding

by Matthew Steeples

Publicity seeking duo share details of their wedding – prepare to be amused at the bizarre details of their ridiculously over-the-top nuptials   New York based Norah Lawlor is undoubtedly a talented PR and her ability to create something out of nothing is a quality that we at The Steeple Times admire. The stories that … Continue reading “Powering a Wedding”

March 23, 2016

Wally of the Week – Piers Morgan

by Matthew Steeples

Piers Morgan toadying up to Donald Trump over the terror attacks in Brussels can only be described as utterly repugnant

February 12, 2016

Chris Bryant MP

by General

Known primarily for posing in his underpants on a gay dating site and for the utterly ridiculous assessment that Delilah is a song about the murder of a prostitute, Chris Bryant is one of the most pointless MPs ever.

December 1, 2015

Overheard: 1st December

by Matthew Steeples

Clangers overheard by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ in the last week

September 14, 2015

Wally of the Week: Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

by Matthew Steeples

Moaning minnie Yasmin Alibhai-Brown’s guest column for the ‘Sunday Mirror’ confirms that she truly is nothing but a harpy for hire

September 23, 2014

Wally of the Week: Daria Radionova

by Matthew Steeples

Russian student spends £20,000 covering her £25,000 Mercedes in Swarovski crystals and then wonders why she is mocked

September 1, 2014

Picture of the Week: The smoking highway

by Matthew Steeples

Three Arabic men decide to enjoy a spot of shisha on the A4 as Cara Delevingne looks on   The ‘Ramadan Rush’ is nearly over but in spotting the image that we make our Picture of the Week, Monika Agata Maron truly captured how ridiculous Knightsbridge has become during this period.

August 5, 2014

Trebling gold

by Matthew Steeples

Third gold wrapped vehicle spotted in Knightsbridge   The Ferrari wrapped in gold foil that bubbled up and peeled off was eclipsed in its ridiculousness last week by a gold and black Bugatti Veyron. Now, the collection has expanded with the arrival of a gold Range Rover.

July 28, 2014

Well sly water

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples examines London venues charging the most for mineral water   A 500ml bottle of San Pellegrino will set you back just 63p in Tesco. At The Wellesley in Knightbridge, however, a customer, Edward Heaton, was left somewhat shocked when he got a bill of £75 for three bottles on 17th July.

Rebecca Richardson

by Matthew Steeples

This Brighton resident announced she’d sue Brighton and Hove City Council in July 2014 after her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Scooby, slipped a disc whilst chasing a cat on council-owned land. Facing a £5,000 bill for the dog’s surgery, this benefit claimer argued that “the grass was too long”

July 8, 2014

Frank Furedi (born Ferenc Furedi)

by Matthew Steeples

This Hungarian “former student radical” and emeritus professor of sociology at the University of Kent argued that historic abuse offences should effectively be swept under the carpet on Newsnight in July 2014. Faversham based Furedi – who is married to the CEO of the UK’s largest independent abortion provider – has previously bizarrely leapt to … Continue reading “Frank Furedi (born Ferenc Furedi)”

May 1, 2014

Katie Hopkins: The reality

by Matthew Steeples

The public should be exposed to the real Katie Hopkins   Last night I met Katie Hopkins. This chance encounter at a party –where I was also briefly and rather randomly introduced to the ex-jailbird Chris Huhne (as cringeworthy as one would expect) and ‘Darth Labour’ Lord Mandelson (as dark as one would imagine) – … Continue reading “Katie Hopkins: The reality”

August 21, 2013

Tripping out

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests TripAdvisor needs to reform its ways   I’ve written about the ‘Trippies’ (those who write reviews on TripAdvisor) before and just like the ‘Groupies’ (voucher loving Groupon users), I’ve had direct experience of their type. They’re an accursed nuisance.

June 6, 2013

Panda Morgan-Thomas

by Matthew Steeples

This ridiculously named woman is Knightsbridge’s leading busybody. A resident of Sloane Street, Morgan-Thomas and her daughter hector motorists and believes she lives in a “village”. How many villages do you know with Chanel, Gucci and Armani on their main streets?

May 27, 2013

Give the man a break… And get him a beer

by Matthew Steeples

Is it right to criticise David Cameron for taking a holiday?   This morning the Mail Online and others attacked David Cameron for “swanning off” for a holiday in Ibiza whilst the nation is “struggling” and the press claim “Britain is on high terror alert”.  

March 17, 2013

Sandi Toksvig

by Matthew Steeples

In 2013, this Danish-British former Liberal Democrat author and presenter stated: “The Duchess of Cambridge lacks a single [relevant] opinion”. The nation were far from impressed. “Toxic Toksvig”, as some refer to her, is a Cambridge educated lesbian and mother of three whose works number Hitler’s Canary and Heroines & Harridans. She started her career … Continue reading “Sandi Toksvig”

November 16, 2012

Put a sock in it

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples takes a look at the farcical results of the PCC elections   A former ambassador to the US undiplomatically Tweeted the following an hour or two ago: “Prezza beaten. Humberside policing saved.” His dovetailed stooge, one Mowbray Jackson, added: “Tiresome tub thumper ‘Lord’ Prescott rejected in PCC election. There is a god.”   … Continue reading “Put a sock in it”

September 26, 2012

Playground victims

by steepleadmin

Sarah Tucker shares the latest of her “playground politics” experiences   My son started at a new school a few weeks back. Five foot eleven, half of him at 13 he is now taller than me.   He was a bit nervous, I cried in the car after I dropped him off and he refused … Continue reading “Playground victims”

August 20, 2012

Winging it

by steepleadmin

Sarah Tucker gives an update on goings on at the resort where Madeleine McCann vanished   Four hundred and thirty euros, one bedroom apartment, one week at the height of season at a luxury family resort in Portugal. And oh yes, it’s the Ocean Club at Praia da Luz. There’s availability with two and three … Continue reading “Winging it”

June 2, 2012

Gerry & Kate McCann

by Matthew Steeples

Their daughter Madeleine disappeared on the evening 3rd May 2007 from a holiday apartment whilst they sat enjoying tapas with a bunch of friends. Some believe the poor child was kidnapped. Others have alternative theories. A public fund to find “Maddie” raised hundreds of thousands of pounds but Mrs McCann’s book, Madeleine, contains so many … Continue reading “Gerry & Kate McCann”

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