Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Begging a feast
In Gloucester Road, a beggar was overheard talking to an American old lady. He said: “I’m trying to get myself a feast”. She curtly answered: “Who do you think you are? Elizabeth I? Go to the park and kill a swan and you’ll be all set”.
A girl on the side
At La Brasserie’s bar, another elderly American settled down. This blazer and baseball cap wearing man announced to the bartender: “I’m from LA. I have to land”. The perplexed server looked bemused so, the stateside visitor carried on: “Make it a Johnny Walker Black Label. Ice, lemon and a girl on the side”.
In a restaurant, former ambassador and all-round know-all Sir Christopher Meyer sat pontificating with his sons. He was overheard to loudly remark: “I’m very well connected, I’ll have you know”. Another guest, sat nearby, chirped up and told her companions: “Yes, of course he is. Appointed by the war criminal Tony Blair. That’s a connection and a half. One to be really proud of”.
Knightsbridge vs. Chigwell
In another restaurant in Knightsbridge, a set of louche men, throwbacks to the 1980s in fact, sat chatting about their glory days. One rudely pointed to a man minding his own business and shouted: “You’re not a Knightsbridge kind of guy. We’ve had Brexit. We’re reclaiming our land”. His target responded: “I hear you’re from Chigwell. You’re welcome to that land”.
Submit comments you hear to email@example.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.