Sat Dec 07, 2019 London

The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

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Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".


The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.


Author: Matthew Steeples

December 3, 2019

Failing Flicka’s Freaky Friends

by Matthew Steeples

“Tough Brexit” supporter Felicity ‘Flicka’ Buchan shown to be exactly opposed to wholeheartedly remain supporting Kensington electorate; her questionable choice of ‘friends’ also is telling “Your issues are my issues” boldly claims Felicity ‘Call Me Flicka’ Buchan, the Conservative candidate for Kensington, in spite of the fact that she is saying “up yours” to the … Continue reading “Failing Flicka’s Freaky Friends”

December 1, 2019

The Hideous Heraldry of Hubert

by Matthew Steeples

That the paedophile Hubert Chesshyre has not had his fellowship to the Society of Antiquaries revoked is an utter outrage Hubert Chesshyre FSA FHS abused a male teenager in the 1990s, but – due to him supposedly having had a stroke and suffering from alleged dementia – he’s got away with his crimes.   Spared … Continue reading “The Hideous Heraldry of Hubert”

November 30, 2019

The Cheque Doesn’t Lie

by Matthew Steeples

The release of a photograph of a cheque from Prince Andrew to Monique Giannelloni provides further evidence of his sordid ways Prince Andrew should have realised that “cash don’t talk,” but providing further evidence of his arrogance, the release of a photograph of a Coutts & Co. cheque he gave to a “female masseuse” who … Continue reading “The Cheque Doesn’t Lie”

A Grand Grosser

by Matthew Steeples

“As good as new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman “dictator car” to be sold at auction in London for a staggering sum A “like new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman saloon is to be sold at auction in December in London.   The preserve of dictators (including Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu) and personalities (amongst them Coco … Continue reading “A Grand Grosser”

November 28, 2019

The Greatness of Gary

by Matthew Steeples

The early demise of the master of modern British cuisine Gary Rhodes is truly a loss to be lamented “Chef’s chef” Gary Rhodes OBE, unlike many of his contemporaries, was a gentleman.   Kind to his core and the man who put black pudding back on the culinary map, this spiky haired Londoner began his … Continue reading “The Greatness of Gary”

November 27, 2019

An Expensive Apple

by Matthew Steeples

Original Apple-1 computer for sale for the staggering sum of £235,000; it is surprisingly still in “working condition” Most people chuck out their computers after a couple of years, but geeks everywhere will rejoice with news that one of the first ever Apple computers is to be sold at auction next month.   The original … Continue reading “An Expensive Apple”

November 26, 2019

Lookout! It’s Lizzie…

by Matthew Steeples

Prince Andrew must be toast; when knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy leaps to your defence, you know your days must be numbered A publicity obsessive turned “jilted friend” of the former Meghan Markle has struck again. In comments to The Sun, the fan of ‘noisy secret sex” with Danny Cipriani that is Lizzie Cundy has spoken … Continue reading “Lookout! It’s Lizzie…”

Uncork The Real Conservatives

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Heseltine speaks great sense in urging lifelong Tories to back the Lib Dems and defrocked Conservative candidates Last night, David ‘Uncork The’ Gauke shared a photograph of himself on Twitter “backstage in Gerrards Cross” with Dominic Grieve, Anne Milton and Michael Heseltine. All four smiled, but what it showed is something else – here … Continue reading “Uncork The Real Conservatives”

It’s Grim at The Tele

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples analyses ‘The Telegraph’s’ decline and laments its likely future in the land of bubblegum journalism and fluff It’s Grim Up North was a 1991 single by The JAMs. It referenced the “drab,” the “dreary” and “greyness” and even attracted homages, based upon other areas of Britain, such as 1992’s It’s Weird Out West. … Continue reading “It’s Grim at The Tele”

November 25, 2019

A Magnificent Manor

by Matthew Steeples

Grade I listed Queen Anne manor house in Bedfordshire for sale for a sum 41% lower than it was offered for in 2016 Built between 1710 and 1714 and much enlarged between 1859 and 1860, Hinwick House, near Wellingborough in Bedfordshire was described as a “celebration of Britishness” by The Telegraph in 2017. Its original … Continue reading “A Magnificent Manor”

A Wanted Woman

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Sun’ offers a ‘dead or alive’ style reward for alleged madam to Jeffrey Epstein and daughter of ‘Bouncing Bob’ Ghislaine Maxwell Bounty hunters have a new target in their sights – Ghislaine Maxwell – with The Sun offering a reward of £10,000 to “FIND HER.” Anyone with information should contact them on +44 (0) … Continue reading “A Wanted Woman”

November 24, 2019

Epstein’s Drinkers & Drivers

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’ reveals further information about Ghislaine Maxwell’s activities in London just as Princess Beatrice is spotted round the corner from the alleged madam’s pad Early yesterday evening, Princess Beatrice was spotted shopping round the corner from the late Jeffrey Epstein’s fixer Ghislaine Maxwell’s Kinnerton Street home in Waitrose in Motcomb Street, Belgravia.   … Continue reading “Epstein’s Drinkers & Drivers”

November 23, 2019

One Owner Since 1884

by Matthew Steeples

Striking Grade II* listed Georgian manor house that was the premises of a renowned antiques dealer for 130 years and the setting for ‘Kavangah QC’ for sale for less than a price of a studio flat in SW3 For sale for £20,000 ($26,000, €23,000 or درهم94,000) less than a poky 409 square foot studio flat … Continue reading “One Owner Since 1884”

Hero of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples lauds “mad as hell” Lorraine Kelly in spite of her speaking in “Gorbals gobbledygook”; here is a woman who has morphed into a tigress and a “gritty heroine of our times” With her “Gorbals gobbledygook” accent, many would describe Lorraine Kelly OBE as “impossible to understand.” Last year, at a film premiere with … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly”

November 22, 2019

A Not So Jolly Green Giant

by Matthew Steeples

Footballer Jamal Blackman revealed as the “black man with dyed green hair” who falsely claimed to be the owner of James Stunt’s now burnt out Lamborghini When the Daily Mail’s Sam Greenhill reported that a “black man with dyed green hair” had stood next to a burning Lamborghini – registration ‘1 57UNT’ – in Kingswood, … Continue reading “A Not So Jolly Green Giant”

November 21, 2019

Poor Beatrice

by Matthew Steeples

In the downfall of The Duke of York, the nation seems to have forgotten Princess Beatrice’s impending state-funded marriage When Princess Eugenie got married, ‘The Club’ turned out enthusiastically. There was Elton ‘Olive Oil’ John and there was James ‘Goodbye My Brexit Lover’ Blunt. Will they now dare turn up for the sequel?   With … Continue reading “Poor Beatrice”

November 20, 2019

A Manhattan Mash-Up

by Matthew Steeples

“Baronial” bachelor pad-esque Manhattan loft that belonged to the late Picasso biographer Sir John Richardson for sale Variously described as “erudite,” “witty” and the “definitive Picasso biographer,” Stowe educated art historian Sir John Richardson‘s Manhattan loft is for sale following his death in March at the grand old age of 95.   Featuring “chaotic décor,” … Continue reading “A Manhattan Mash-Up”

Martin’s Gone Bananas

by Matthew Steeples

Yet more proof that the J. D. Wetherspoon pub chain is to be avoided is revealed… Aside from European booze and dogs being banned, you might meet reckless, boozed-up mothers and bigots also J. D. Wetherspoon, the pub chain owned by the batshit crazy Brexiteer Tim Martin, has done again.   Last year, miserable Martin … Continue reading “Martin’s Gone Bananas”

November 19, 2019

Where’s Mucky Maxwell?

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’ reveals news about the alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell that is yet to reach the British press; this mucky woman wants “fairness” Whilst “grand” old Prince Andrew’s been busy reporting on how he slummed it and dined in Pizza Express in Woking, another key player in the Epstein scandal is still missing.   … Continue reading “Where’s Mucky Maxwell?”

November 18, 2019

BoJo’s Wikipedia Weirdness

by Matthew Steeples

Boris Johnson’s Wikipedia entry is something that must be seen Boris Johnson is known for many things. Most of them are less than appealing, but one of the funniest yet strangely little discussed matters is his most curious Wikipedia entry.   On the page dedicated to our less than esteemed philandering Prime Minister there is … Continue reading “BoJo’s Wikipedia Weirdness”

November 16, 2019

Rod Off Roland

by Matthew Steeples

Roland Rudd’s departure from the People’s Vote campaign is to be celebrated; now it is time all remain supporters came together Roland Rudd proved himself to be nothing but self-serving and divisive as chairman of the People’s Vote campaign.   News that he’s resigned is to be celebrated, but what now needs to happen is … Continue reading “Rod Off Roland”

November 15, 2019

Thanks Tamara!

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples thanks Tamara Ecclestone for giving him so much attention (at a time when her dear little daddy is trying to bury his bad news of having to pay £1 billion in back taxes he owed to the British public) In her own words: “I’m like an old lady with a cup of tea” … Continue reading “Thanks Tamara!”

November 14, 2019

Clocks & Crime

by Matthew Steeples

Vast Italian Renaissance style mansion in Cincinnati, Ohio for sale for less than £500,000; it was built for a clockmaker, home to Burt Reynolds’ first wife’s lawyer and more recently a convicted sexual offender Built in 1908 from Indiana limestone with an overhanging roof of red tiles and grilled windows, the ‘Herschede Mansion’ in North … Continue reading “Clocks & Crime”

Grating Greta

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Greta Thunberg to be well meaning but misguided; her approach to environmental issues and innovation is beyond over-simplistic Sixteen year old ‘eco warrior’ and ‘school striker’ Greta Thunberg, on the surface, means well. She cares about our planet, but her oversimplification of environmental issues and the fact that her pushy parents have … Continue reading “Grating Greta”

November 13, 2019

Lavish Leasam

by Matthew Steeples

Vast Georgian mansion close to the East Sussex coast with garaging for nineteen cars for sale for just under £10 million Built for a Rye based attorney and banker named Jeremiah Curteis (1735 – 1806) between 1798 and 1806 and altered in 1903 by Sir Reginald Blomfield (1856 – 1942) – best known for his … Continue reading “Lavish Leasam”

November 12, 2019

Tosspot Towning

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’ exposes the truth about the shameless drag queen-esque peddler of junk Ian Towning “Permatanned queen of the antiques trade” Ian Towning is best known for selling cheap tat on a market stall in an arcade off Chelsea’s Kings Road and appearing on a downbeat programme named Posh Pawn. Featured in the Daily … Continue reading “Tosspot Towning”

Guttered Anthea

by Matthew Steeples

Anthea Turner’s “berserk” convicted offender fiancé spotted “trawling roads” doing community service after biting a policeman This morning, The Sun shared photographs of ‘Princess Tippy Toes’ Anthea Turner’s fiancé, “socialite” Mark Armstrong, “dawdling” and picking up litter from gutters whilst wearing a fluorescent orange jacket emblazoned with the words ‘Community Payback.’   Sentenced to 240 … Continue reading “Guttered Anthea”

November 10, 2019

Denting Dent Coad

by Matthew Steeples

Emma Dent Coad MP shown to be insensitive and exposed as a pro-Brexit charlatan; we urge readers in Kensington to back the Liberal Democrats instead The Member of Parliament for Kensington, Emma Dent Coad, has a majority of just 20.   Given an easy ride because her predecessor, the unctuous Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick, … Continue reading “Denting Dent Coad”

A Regency Rock

by Matthew Steeples

‘Georgian Regency’ country house to rent for £20,000 per month in a Buckinghamshire village voted ‘the best in England’ Built circa 1810 on the site of a medieval manor house where Oliver Cromwell allegedly stayed in 1642, ‘The Stone’ at Pheasant Hill, Chalfont St. Giles in Buckinghamshire is a classically proportioned three bay, yellow stock … Continue reading “A Regency Rock”

November 8, 2019

A Romping Royal Range Rover

by Matthew Steeples

Range Rover ‘coffin car’ limousine originally used by the sex mad Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei for sale for 94% less than its original £323,000 total cost As we’ve reported before, Jefri Bolkiah – the Sultan of Brunei’s black sheep of the family brother – is best known for having had a total of five … Continue reading “A Romping Royal Range Rover”

Bloomberg For President

by Matthew Steeples

Michael Bloomberg is the man who can beat Donald Trump and his likely entry into the race to become President is to be celebrated suggests Matthew Steeples Michael Bloomberg KBE, 77, has money and business experience, but he has something else that Donald Trump, 73, lacks – the ability to cross the political divide.   … Continue reading “Bloomberg For President”

November 7, 2019

Hero of the Hour – Bill Gates

by Matthew Steeples

Bill Gates yet again proves himself to be wise and decent; in conversation at the Dealbook Conference he showed himself to be the polar opposite of the likes of Sir Richard Branson Bill Gates is the antithesis of self-serving billionaires like Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green. Here is a business titan and philanthropist … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Bill Gates”

November 6, 2019

BoJo’s Body Double

by Matthew Steeples

American lookalike of Boris Johnson emerges; it turns out he’s very rich and the beau of the socialite Denise Rich As Boris Johnson faces further allegations that “he knew about Vote Leave’s illegal overspend” and news that the Metropolitan Police have passed a file of evidence that could lead to charges against that operation to … Continue reading “BoJo’s Body Double”

November 5, 2019

The Most Curious Jonathan King

by Matthew Steeples

After the convicted paedophile Jonathan King endorsed Jeremy Corbyn last week, he’s gone on to condemn Brexit, laud ‘woman manhandler’ Mark Field and share all sorts of his other rather odd political views When the convicted paedophile Jonathan King’s support for a candidate in an election is making headlines, one knows the world is going … Continue reading “The Most Curious Jonathan King”

November 3, 2019

Bollocks From Bernie

by Matthew Steeples

Bernie Ecclestone may think he can hoodwink the public; ‘The Steeple Times’ today tells the £1 billion tax demand payer otherwise The “cranky gargoyle” Bernie Ecclestone is rather good at two things: First, he’s a genius at making money by mysterious means and second, he’s rather adept at using the ‘distraction technique’ that Lord McAlpine … Continue reading “Bollocks From Bernie”

A Quid For A Pub

by Matthew Steeples

Detached Essex pub put up for sale for less than the price of half a pint just as “Britain’s best pub” celebrates 20 years of success The great British institution that is the public house is dying. With news that they are closing at a rate of one every 12 hours and that the number … Continue reading “A Quid For A Pub”

November 2, 2019

Wallies of the Week – Paul Dempsey and Victoria Parker

by Matthew Steeples

Whinging couple who were taken off a flight for being disruptive and drunk rightly get their compensation cancelled “Boozed-up” engineer Paul Dempsey and his hairdresser partner Victoria Parker got taken off a BA flight from Naxos, Greece for getting smashed on wine and ouzo.   In spite of admitting to being a “bit squiffy” (for … Continue reading “Wallies of the Week – Paul Dempsey and Victoria Parker”

November 1, 2019

Branson’s Coffin

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Richard Branson’s woes continue to grow as an artist holds a ‘funeral’ for him in a pub in Sidcup, Kent and his sister ends up with a dead body in her swimming pool The Branson family and most especially its attention loving head, Sir Richard, aren’t having a good time of late.   Aside … Continue reading “Branson’s Coffin”

October 31, 2019

Wally of the Week – Tim Martin

by Matthew Steeples

JD Wetherspoon’s should be punished for spending nearly £100,000 on pro-Brexit beer mats at the behest of Tim Martin Tim Martin is an odious man and he’s also highly irritating. That is for sure, but that he spent £94,856 of his company’s money on nearly two million beer mats sums up how ridiculous this nutjob … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Tim Martin”

October 30, 2019

Bonkers Bedfellows

by Matthew Steeples

If Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman is dating the car crash that is Lindsay Lohan, he must be bonkers; the truth is more likely that this washed-up slapper is pulling yet another publicity stunt News that Lindsay Lohan might be in a relationship with “the bloodthirsty crown prince of Saudi Arabia” Mohammad bin Salman might … Continue reading “Bonkers Bedfellows”

October 29, 2019

Boris’ Ditch

by Matthew Steeples

Boris Johnson, Mark Francois, Nigel Evans and Katie Hopkins yet again shown to be utter berks Today, a General Election will be announced. The date is yet to be confirmed, but given that the totally pointless and wasteful £100 million 31st October Brexit advertising campaign has been put on hold also, one has to ask: … Continue reading “Boris’ Ditch”

Do One Dawn

by Matthew Steeples

“Napkin slapper” Dawn Ward again proves herself to be a common degenerate in using the phrase “do one” Telling some to “remove oneself” by instead saying “do one” is quite frankly just awful. It is used by people – whom are generally northerners according to the Oxford English Dictionary – when they’ve lost an argument … Continue reading “Do One Dawn”

October 28, 2019

The Weirdness of Westwood

by Matthew Steeples

In ‘Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist’ Vivienne Westwood proves herself to be nothing but a deranged hypocrite and fruit loop Dame Vivienne Westwood DBE, RDI is definitely an achiever. She singlehandedly made punk and new wave fashion mainstream and she’s made a fortune for herself in the process. The sad thing about this woman, however, and … Continue reading “The Weirdness of Westwood”

October 26, 2019

A Thrifty Reduction

by Matthew Steeples

‘Baroness Thrifty’ puts her Sir John Soane designed Norfolk mansion up for sale for 46% less than she tried to get for it in 2011 (when Johnny Depp allegedly failed to purchase it) Minus about 8 acres of land and its coach house and gate lodge, a Georgian country house in a village known as … Continue reading “A Thrifty Reduction”

Where’s Bernie?

by Matthew Steeples

Bernie Ecclestone has been remarkably absent since being branded a “cranky gargoyle” in September, so where is he? One would have expected to have seen Bernie Ecclestone gobbling sausage rolls at the RM Sotheby’s annual London auction preview party on Thursday night, but remarkably this all-round busybody and ‘bestie’ of President Putin was a no-show. … Continue reading “Where’s Bernie?”

A Car Curate’s Egg

by Matthew Steeples

An analysis of the results at the 2019 RM Sotheby’s London sale Brexit uncertainty did not stop their being a large turnout for the preview of the 2019 RM Sotheby’s London sale at Olympia on Thursday night. The sale itself on Friday evening included 98 lots and despite the fact that 27 (28%) did not … Continue reading “A Car Curate’s Egg”

Royally Ridiculous

by Matthew Steeples

The Royal Court’s decision to ban theatregoers from bringing in single-use plastic bottles is utterly ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples The Royal Court Theatre on Sloane Square is a venerable institution.  It is a place where Alec Guinness and Laurence Olivier have performed and it has hosted productions directed by Sam Mendes and Tony Richardson.   … Continue reading “Royally Ridiculous”

October 25, 2019

Carrie’s Curious Contacts

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times reveals some of the curious people Boris Johnson’s squeeze Carrie Symonds previously associated with – a past that includes online manhood sharers and fake news creators As Boris Johnson’s girlfriend attempts to morph into the role of Britain’s answer to a first lady, we can reveal a past that she’d likely rather … Continue reading “Carrie’s Curious Contacts”

October 24, 2019

Crackpot Cliff Cutout

by Matthew Steeples

Cliff Richard shares his bizarre views about Brexit, losing friends, speaking to himself and liking being addressed by his title just as a cardboard cutout of him is nicked (thus causing “airport chaos”) Last week, Sir Cliff Richard OBE rose up once again and was interviewed for ITV’s Lorraine show by the Scottish television presenter … Continue reading “Crackpot Cliff Cutout”

October 22, 2019

Turn Off The Power

by Matthew Steeples

The trial of an E-biker who allegedly killed a pedestrian is proof that these menacing machines should be banned or at least regulated Thomas Hanlon allegedly hit 56-year old Sakine Chihan on his E-bike as she crossed Kingsland Road in Dalston at around 5pm on 28th August 2018.   Cihan suffered serious head injuries and … Continue reading “Turn Off The Power”

October 21, 2019

Polly Put The Kettle On

by Matthew Steeples

Palladian mansion that was home to Charles Burnett III, the driver of the “fastest kettle in the world,” for sale for £10 million after his death in a helicopter accident Charles Burnett III (1956 – 2018) lived life to the full. English born, but primarily resident in Houston, Texas, this eccentric member of a family … Continue reading “Polly Put The Kettle On”

October 19, 2019

Lowbrow Lizzie

by Matthew Steeples

Rugby star Danny Cipriani to sue ageing desperado WAG Lizzie Cundy’s publishers over her tawdry claims about bedding him There’s lowbrow and then there’s the country’s leading knicker flasher, Lizzie Cundy.   With news that Soho Friday Media, the publishers of Cundy’s Tales From The Red Carpet, are being sued for breaches of privacy and … Continue reading “Lowbrow Lizzie”

October 18, 2019

A Must March

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’s’ Matthew Steeples urges readers to join the Together for the Final Say People’s Vote March in London tomorrow I’m not normally one for protest marches and generally find them to be annoying and the source of great inconvenience, but tomorrow I’ll be joining the Together for the Final Say People’s Vote March … Continue reading “A Must March”

October 16, 2019

Making a Cameron Of It

by Matthew Steeples

Booksellers and the public alike mock David Cameron’s ‘For The Record’ memoirs by placing it next to titles about failing and adding comments to its cover David Cameron called a referendum that was not needed and when, after barely putting in any effort, he didn’t win, he walked away.   Now, after receiving a reported … Continue reading “Making a Cameron Of It”

October 14, 2019

Real News

by Matthew Steeples

As dimwitted Dawn Ward suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ is short of news, publicist for animal charity backed by the Trumps brands us “fake news” George Orwell once stated: “Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed; everything else is public relations” and plainly in the last seventy-two hours, The Steeple Times has achieved … Continue reading “Real News”

October 11, 2019

Rock Off

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples slams Rescue Dogs Rock NYC for allowing the wife of the elephant slayer Eric Trump to host its fundraiser Rescue Dogs Rock NYC plainly doesn’t care about anything other than getting itself publicity and grandstanding with individuals that most frankly anyone decent would simply avoid.   In allowing the wife of the sick … Continue reading “Rock Off”

October 10, 2019

Cavernous Caversham

by Matthew Steeples

Grade II listed stately home in 93 acres of parkland in Reading, Berkshire for sale for just £174 per square foot Situated just 40 miles from Central London, a 114,996 square foot manor house in 93 acres of formal gardens and parkland has been relisted for sale freehold at a price of £20 million.   … Continue reading “Cavernous Caversham”

October 9, 2019

A Trump Hole

by Matthew Steeples

In sharing images of herself digging a hole at the White House yesterday, Melania Trump gave rise to theories about what she was really upto Melania Trump isn’t known for her intellect, but in sharing images of herself digging up soil next to the White House’s tennis court yesterday with her 3.4 million Instagram followers … Continue reading “A Trump Hole”

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

by Matthew Steeples

Interviewed by Sky News’ Sophy Ridge on 6th October 2019 in Boris Johnson’s Uxbridge constituency, this purple coated pensioner didn’t mince her words. When Ridge approached her to ask about the Prime Minister, the response was clear: “Don’t you mention that name in front of me, that filthy piece of toerag.” She has since been … Continue reading “Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag”

October 8, 2019

An Oligarch’s Lair

by Matthew Steeples

Tuscan villa previously owned by Russian oligarch turned fugitive offered in bankruptcy sale; once valued at £16.3 million, bids of £6.5 million are now sought A 35,520 square foot 15th century Tuscan villa with 15 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms that was previously owned by a Russian tycoon is being offered in a fire sale for … Continue reading “An Oligarch’s Lair”

October 7, 2019

Arrest Anne

by Matthew Steeples

Anne Sacoolas should not be able to evade justice simply because she is married to a US diplomat; she should be brought back to Britain immediately argues Matthew Steeples American diplomat’s wife Anne Sacoolas (nee Goodwin), 42, crashed her car on the wrong side of the road at Park End, Croughton, Northamptonshire and killed a … Continue reading “Arrest Anne”

No Joke Joker

by Matthew Steeples

That Warner Brothers decided to use a song by the incarcerated paedophile Gary Glitter in their new film ‘Joker’ is utterly disgraceful suggests Matthew Steeples “Public hate figure” Gary Glitter is a monster. There’s no doubt about that and given he was jailed in 1999 for downloading thousands of items of child porn, deported from … Continue reading “No Joke Joker”

October 6, 2019

Eating for Elephants

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples hosts a dinner to raise funds for the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s elephant conservation work at Granger & Co. Chelsea On 30th September, The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples and the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s Richard Marriott gathered an eclectic group of friends and supporters to raise funds to support the charity’s … Continue reading “Eating for Elephants”

October 5, 2019

Hideous ‘Headmaster Harvey’

by Matthew Steeples

As “kinky ex MP” and lover of canes Harvey Proctor storms out of a BBC interview, he again shows himself as nothing but an arrogant, self-entitled prick Harvey Proctor is a bit like the cat that ate the canary. This self-satisfied wazzock may have been vindicated over the false allegations made by Carl Beech, but … Continue reading “Hideous ‘Headmaster Harvey’”

October 4, 2019

Motoring Gin

by Matthew Steeples

Grade I listed Jacobean manor house on the Dorset-Somerset border for sale for the price of 170,000 bottles of gin; it comes with its own distillery and a private car museum also Owned by the Harbin family for 399 years until 2007, the 62.04-acre Newton House estate at Newton Surmaville stands partly in Dorset and … Continue reading “Motoring Gin”

A Gingerly Roller

by Matthew Steeples

1927 Rolls-Royce Phantom I originally owned by Edward VIII for sale; it comes with a bottle of Berry Bros. & Rudd’s The Kings Ginger Richard Biddulph of Vintage & Prestige Classic Cars gives away a bottle of Berry Bros. & Rudd’s The King’s Ginger liqueur with the cars he sells, but in the case of … Continue reading “A Gingerly Roller”

October 3, 2019

Wally of the Week – Lady Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

Lady Borwick makes a fool of herself on Sky News yet again and shows her lack of knowledge of historical sequence; meanwhile her son finds himself embroiled in the Jennifer Arcuri-Boris Johnson scandal “They seek her here, they seek her there, Sky News seeks her everywhere” seems to be applicable to Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Lady Borwick”

October 2, 2019

MeGain’s Mail Mess

by Matthew Steeples

The Duchess of Sussex’s decision to sue the Mail on Sunday is the wrong course of action; she ought to instead make peace with her family suggests Matthew Steeples In deciding to sue the Mail on Sunday the Duchess of Sussex has again got it wrong. Yes, this woman has a right to be angry … Continue reading “MeGain’s Mail Mess”

Gaylord Gone

by Matthew Steeples

Iconic “Fawlty Towers-esque” Indian restaurant Gaylord in Mortimer Street, W1 permanently closes due to cockroach infestation After being served with a hygiene emergency prohibition notice in August due to it having a “serious infestation of cockroaches,” the iconic Indian restaurant Gaylord – with a motto of “tradition is always in” – has now sadly permanently closed. … Continue reading “Gaylord Gone”

September 29, 2019

Galactic Gall

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Richard Branson should be ashamed of himself for cashing in on Virgin Galactic’s flotation given the calamity it has already caused; investors would be advised to steer well clear When Virgin Galactic floats on the New York stock exchange for approximately £1.2 billion ($1.5 billion, €1.4 billion or درهم5.6billion) later this year, self-declared “entrepreneur” … Continue reading “Galactic Gall”

September 28, 2019

A Touring Tip

by Matthew Steeples

Extra-long wheelbase 1998 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur armoured touring limousine used in Equatorial Guinea for sale for a knock down price Presented in “dismantled condition” and “requiring extensive work to get it running,” a 1998 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur armoured touring limousine by H. J. Mulliner Park Ward is to be sold by Bonhams this Sunday. It … Continue reading “A Touring Tip”

Inching an Island

by Matthew Steeples

90 acre Scottish island for sale for less than the cost of a 212 square foot garage space in Knightsbridge, London Though a garage not even wide enough to fit a Rolls-Royce Phantom is currently for sale for £660 per square foot or £140,000 for a 38 year lease, you could buy an entire Scottish … Continue reading “Inching an Island”

Anth’ Swings Into Action

by Matthew Steeples

Will Anthea Turner’s chum Lizzie Cundy be joining her to swing into action with a Cadbury’s Flake at her forthcoming nuptials? Anthea Turner likes a chocolate bar. She particularly likes Cadbury’s Flakes and at her last wedding she and her beau began their union by shoving them into their gobs most enthusiastically.   Turner, the … Continue reading “Anth’ Swings Into Action”

September 27, 2019

Calm Yourselves

by Matthew Steeples

Angry politicians should learn from the stoicism of the jockey James Doyle and the judge Baroness Hale when it comes to handling abuse suggests Matthew Steeples Whilst the British media have gone into uproar about the abusive language used in Parliament in the last couple of days, this morning The Guardian’s Chris Cook highlighted a … Continue reading “Calm Yourselves”

September 26, 2019

Moron of the Moment – Madeleine Grant

by Matthew Steeples

“I don’t hack, I just have a great rack” rent-a-gob Madeleine Grant’s attack on Gina Miller is uncalled for and below the standard of what one expects from ‘The Telegraph’ The Telegraph’s Madeleine Grant uses the nickname ‘Madz’ on Twitter and that moniker definitely reflects her acerbic personality.   Aside from bizarrely describing herself as … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Madeleine Grant”

Mopping Up

by Matthew Steeples

One of the world’s highest paid actresses ludicrously asks for an electric mop on her wedding registry; this mucky madam plainly wants a role on “How Clean Is Your House?” Self-declared “actress and philanthropist” Jennifer Lawrence is best known for mendaciously moaning that a leak of her mucky nude photographs were a “sexual violation.”   … Continue reading “Mopping Up”

Quotes of the Week – 21st September 2019

by Matthew Steeples

A selection of amusing and odd remarks from the media classes including ones from Benjamin Butterworth, Lady Colin Campbell, Gemma Collins, John Crace, Darren Grimes and  Lindsay Lohan Benjamin Butterworth The journalist took to Twitter to respond to news that Mark Ronson considers himself a “sapiosexual” and thus “only shags educated women.” Butterworth tweeted:   … Continue reading “Quotes of the Week – 21st September 2019”

September 20, 2019

Effing Hunniford

by Matthew Steeples

‘Inglorious’ Gloria Hunniford yet again proves herself to be anything but the ‘national treasure’ she so often claims to be There is something most unpleasant about Gloria Hunniford. Aside from her obsession with constantly leaping to the defence of the creepy Christian crooner Sir Cliff Richard, this old harpy also used to be friendly with … Continue reading “Effing Hunniford”

Name & Shame – Mr. Gallows

by Matthew Steeples

Thug who yelled “to the gallows” at Gina Miller needs to be named and shamed Yesterday a mouse-not-a-man shouted “to the gallows” and “build a gallows” at Gina Miller as she left the Supreme Court.     Accompanied by a Burberry clad chav-like woman who was yelling: “Go f**king hang yourself,” this turd-like specimen subsequently … Continue reading “Name & Shame – Mr. Gallows”

September 19, 2019

It’s NOT Hilarious

by Matthew Steeples

As Michael Barrymore is branded “hilarious” and a “novelty” as he makes his TV comeback, we suggest there is no “comic impact” about this at all; what is required instead is justice for the late Stuart Lubbock Heterosexual and known as “a bit of a womaniser,” 31-year-old meat packing worker Stuart Lubbock died on the … Continue reading “It’s NOT Hilarious”

September 18, 2019

Superlative Stedcombe

by Matthew Steeples

Stunning Grade I listed symmetrical William and Mary country house in Devon with slave trade links for sale An “outstanding” William and Mary country house built with the profits from the slave trade by one Richard Hallett (died 1747), whose “Black Negro servant called Ando” was accused of rioting in the streets of Lyme Regis … Continue reading “Superlative Stedcombe”

Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer

by Matthew Steeples

Tedious twerps Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer take to Twitter to berate those who dare criticise deviant liar Boris Johnson Mr. “I wasn’t nice to everyone” Sir Christopher Meyer KCMG was always pompous. His “Chanel-clad” wife always loved a good old charity knees up. Together they morphed into a monstrosity of epic arrogance and together … Continue reading “Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer”

September 17, 2019

Shame on The Sun

by Matthew Steeples

The Sun deserves to be condemned for their irrelevant ‘tell all’ about Ben Stokes’ family as does the Daily Mail for not correcting their inaccurate stories about James Stunt The Guardian’s editorial mocking David Cameron’s ability to grieve was rightly amended after falling “far short of [their] standards.” That they “apologise[d] completely” was correct, but … Continue reading “Shame on The Sun”

Highlights of LAPADA 2019

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples picks his highlights at the LAPADA 2019 art and antiques fair in Mayfair’s Berkeley Square on its penultimate day Today is the penultimate day of a somewhat different to previous LAPADA art and antiques fairs in London’s Berkeley Square in that I noted a dominance of smaller stands with ‘more’ affordable items than … Continue reading “Highlights of LAPADA 2019”

Me, Me, Me

by Matthew Steeples

Self-obsessed ‘MeGain’ refers to herself an astonishing 38 times during a speech to launch her overpriced fashion line The Duchess of Sussex is about one thing and that is herself. This former actress continues to act up and since marrying into the royal family has proven herself to be nothing but shameless. This week, however, … Continue reading “Me, Me, Me”

September 13, 2019

The Unkind Kingdom

by Matthew Steeples

As Michael Morpurgo condemns Britain as “nasty,” Matthew Steeples reports from the launch of Alexander Lebedev’s ‘Hunt the Banker’ where the author condemns Brexit also The British, a people once thought of for fair play and decency, have morphed into something “nasty” according to the renowned author Michael Morpurgo.   In an interview published today … Continue reading “The Unkind Kingdom”

September 12, 2019

Liar Boris

by Matthew Steeples

As it is confirmed Boris Johnson lied to the Queen about prorogation of Parliament, it is time for this pathological liar to just go People used to refer to Tony Blair as ‘B.Liar’ but now that moniker can be given to Boris Johnson also.   Johnson has lied to his wives, he’s lied to his … Continue reading “Liar Boris”

September 11, 2019

A News Nightmare

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples analyses how the mess that is Boris Johnson Britain has engulfed any impartiality the right wing press had left With The Telegraph even suggesting Boris Johnson resigning may be “his best option to deliver Brexit” in spite of the fact that would result in a Jeremy Corbyn led minority government, one realises that … Continue reading “A News Nightmare”

September 10, 2019

It’s Not Cricket

by Matthew Steeples

‘Lady Macbeth’ Theresa May’s resignation honour list is symbolic; it is symbolic of cronyism and the toxicity of those she associated with Shahmir Sanni claims not to care that Theresa May gave the man that outed him a peerage. Late last night, he tweeted about how Stephen Parkinson, his ex-lover and SPAD to May, existed … Continue reading “It’s Not Cricket”

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