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The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

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Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".

 

The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.

 

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society

A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

September 14, 2019

Me, Me, Me

by Matthew Steeples

Self-obsessed ‘MeGain’ refers to herself an astonishing 38 times during a speech to launch her overpriced fashion line The Duchess of Sussex is about one thing and that is herself. This former actress continues to act up and since marrying into the royal family has proven herself to be nothing but shameless. This week, however, … Continue reading “Me, Me, Me”

September 10, 2019

Loudmouth Lizzie

by Matthew Steeples

Desperado Lizzie Cundy yet again proves she’ll do anything to get herself on the telly in calling the Duchess of Sussex “manipulative” Media whore Lizzie Cundy, like her tediously trivial ‘bestie’ Anthea Turner, will do just about anything to get herself on the telly box.   In appearing on Australia’s 60 Minutes to brand her … Continue reading “Loudmouth Lizzie”

September 3, 2019

Potty Lottie

by Matthew Steeples

Lowbrow lavatory frisker and all-round irrelevance Lottie Moss yet again makes a fool of herself by desperately selling fake news to ‘The Sun’ “I feel like I’m Hannah Montana” somewhat nuttily announced the motormouth ‘model’ Lottie Moss in a “diary” for Vogue in May 2017.   Having dated a little known Made In Chelsea dimwit … Continue reading “Potty Lottie”

September 2, 2019

Meg’s Murky Mess

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Thomas Markle is right to call out his daughter’s antics for what they are: Ridiculous ‘MeGain’ (AKA The Duchess of Sussex) is allegedly jetting off to shores distant. Whilst many will be relieved that she could possibly be going to Africa or back to her native United States, one person who is … Continue reading “Meg’s Murky Mess”

August 30, 2019

Wally of the Week – Ben Fogle

by Matthew Steeples

Ben Fogle yet again shows himself to be utterly off his merry rocker in blabbering on about ‘hopepunk’ and comparing himself to a Labrador suggests Matthew Steeples ‘Hopepunk’ has been embraced by Ben Fogle. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of it (nor had I until this morning), but that it has been … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Ben Fogle”

August 27, 2019

Dawn Boobs (Again)

by Matthew Steeples

Creosoted creature Dawn Ward snapped in fetish gear after encouraging her poor child to have a boob job­­ Dimwitted Dawn Ward is at it again. This tasteless vulgarian – this time in the company of another so-called ‘reality star’ and lump of plastic named Gemma Collins – published a picture of herself in the South … Continue reading “Dawn Boobs (Again)”

August 19, 2019

Pigeon Bernie

by Matthew Steeples

Bernie Ecclestone finally finds himself some ‘friends’; Prince Charles talks to plants, Bernie Ecclestone talks to pigeons Most people consider city pigeons – but certainly not their country cousins, the wood pigeon – to be pests. Some would go as far as to term them “flying rats,” but plainly Bernie Ecclestone feels to the contrary. … Continue reading “Pigeon Bernie”

August 18, 2019

Anth’s August Antics

by Matthew Steeples

That three newspapers chose to run a story about ‘f**k, I used to be famous’ Anthea Turner finding a toyboy is proof that the ‘silly season’ is in full swing You know the ‘silly season’ is in full swing when The Sun, the Mail on Sunday and the Mirror all run features about Cadbury’s Flake … Continue reading “Anth’s August Antics”

August 14, 2019

With Friends Like These…

by Matthew Steeples

Ghislaine Maxwell’s relationships with sexual deviants were not limited to just Jeffrey Epstein; she was previously linked to former MP Harvey ‘Whacko’ Proctor It turns out that the former MP and convicted criminal Harvey Proctor – found guilty of gross indecency with teenagers in 1986 – is linked to Ghislaine Maxwell via his former employer, … Continue reading “With Friends Like These…”

August 9, 2019

Amazing Profanity

by Matthew Steeples

John Newton of ‘Amazing Grace’ fame was the world’s most accomplished swearer In a most fascinating letter to The Times yesterday, Sister Hilda Mary Baumberg of St Michael’s Convent, Gerrards Cross revealed that the English slave ship captain turned abolitionist and Anglican clergyman John Newton (1725 – 1807) was quite possibly the most accomplished swearer … Continue reading “Amazing Profanity”

August 4, 2019

Borwick Binned

by Matthew Steeples

Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer ‘Flicka’ Buchan Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick was quite bad enough in that she did nothing for the homeless and supported (and still supports) the ivory trade, but now Kensington Conservatives have done it again by selecting yet another pro-Brexit candidate. … Continue reading “Borwick Binned”

June 21, 2019

Name & Shame – Soly Zadeh

by Matthew Steeples

Soly Zadeh, an artist who disgracefully failed to honour his commitments to an animal conservation charity named and shamed Soly Zadeh, an artist whose somewhat strange works appear on the Saatchi Art website, is someone who was given the opportunity to exhibit his works at a charity event in May to raise money for animal … Continue reading “Name & Shame – Soly Zadeh”

June 8, 2019

Don’t You Know Who I Am?

by Matthew Steeples

Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury We sadly live in an era of selfies and reality television, but on Thursday an especially vacuous wench named Carmen Jordá made an utter prat of herself … Continue reading “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”

June 1, 2019

Siddiqi Out-Sherlocked

by Matthew Steeples

Twitter troll and all-round oddity Tariq Siddiqi loses £5 million case against Sherlock Holmes Limited and others Late last month a case brought by Tariq Siddiqi alleging he had been “the  target  and victim of the publication of derogatory, confidential and/or private information on a website” devoted to exposing his business affairs and “bitterly…  accus[ing] … Continue reading “Siddiqi Out-Sherlocked”

May 29, 2019

Basement Journalism

by Matthew Steeples

That Spencer Matthews was described on Sky News as a “royal relative” is just yet another example of shoddy journalism We all make mistakes, but when journalists fall for PR peoples’ scams as easily as Sky News plainly did last night in the wake of the non-news story of the former Made in Chelsea participant … Continue reading “Basement Journalism”

May 27, 2019

True Crime Stories: Baroness de Stempel (and family)

by Matthew Steeples

Our new series examining historic crime stories of the rich and famous begins with the case of the unsolved murder of an architect in Shropshire, the jailing for fraud of his aristocratic ex-wife and her children and her daughter’s subsequent marriage to a famous actor Four times married former debutant Baroness de Stempel (née Susan … Continue reading “True Crime Stories: Baroness de Stempel (and family)”

May 25, 2019

Victoria’s Escort

by Matthew Steeples

Wannabe politician (again) Lady Borwick shares a snap of herself with a onetime male escort to “mature ladies” Benjamin Duncan It wasn’t ‘Victoria’s Secret’ for former Tory MP for Kensington Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick this week, but instead ‘Victoria’s Escort’ it seems. A picture, shared with her 213 followers on Instagram, shows this woman … Continue reading “Victoria’s Escort”

May 16, 2019

America’s Black Hole

by Matthew Steeples

The pardoning of Lord Black by President Trump sums up the morally bankrupt hole that is now America The pardoning of Lord Black by President Trump sums up the morally bankrupt hole that is now America   That Lord Black of Crossharbour – a man whose wife once announced: “My extravagance knows no bounds” – … Continue reading “America’s Black Hole”

May 9, 2019

The Carpetbagging Copycat

by Matthew Steeples

The Duchess of Sussex gets mocked on social media after “stealing” James Stunt’s ‘iconic dressing gown look’ to introduce her newly arrived son Yet again ‘Murky Mucky’ just couldn’t help herself. Even on the day she introduced her child to the world, she just had to put her foot in the proverbial. Aside from offending … Continue reading “The Carpetbagging Copycat”

May 6, 2019

Don’t be a mug, vote Toby Jug

by Matthew Steeples

That the late Lord Toby Jug’s approach to politics make more sense than we’ve currently got says a lot about where we are now in Britain Today, The Times published an insightful obituary about the life of Lord Toby Jug (born Brian Borthwick, 18th December 1965 – 2nd May 2019). It is something both Jeremy … Continue reading “Don’t be a mug, vote Toby Jug”

April 30, 2019

The Overdue Duchess

by Matthew Steeples

‘Murky Mucky’ mucks up yet again; is there anything the Duchess of Sussex is capable of getting right? With rumours about Prince William’s extra-curricular activities circulating in America (but barred – unless you’re Giles ‘quickly deletes tweet’ Coren in Britain), ‘Murkly Mucky Markle’ (AKA The Duchess of Sussex) is still trying to grab all the … Continue reading “The Overdue Duchess”

April 23, 2019

A Virile Bentley

by Matthew Steeples

Bentley S1 converted into “the world’s poshest pick-up” to be sold at auction; it was created for a “sperm obsessed” Aussie Earl Described on PistonHeads.com as a “strange vehicle” and “the world’s poshest pick-up” by The Times, a right-hand drive 1956 Bentley S1 standard steel saloon converted to a “utility vehicle” for the Right Honourable … Continue reading “A Virile Bentley”

March 7, 2019

The Antics of ‘Anth’

by Matthew Steeples

That Anthea Turner continues to behave as if she’s a teenage hottie is quite beyond preposterous   Divorcee Anthea Turner – or ‘F**k I used to be famous’ to her friends – is a woman incapable of behaving appropriately.   On Tuesday, Turner – a woman best known for grubbily posing (for a chunk of … Continue reading “The Antics of ‘Anth’”

February 17, 2019

Tarty Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

The Daily Mail’s reporting of Alexa Chung’s latest ‘launch’ was utterly cringeworthy; why is she considered to be newsworthy?   The Daily Mail just cannot help itself. For them, if Alexa Chung picked up a tea cup, it’d be international news.   Reporting on this model-presenter-and-just-about-everything-else-on-the-planet possible launching a range of sunglasses, the paper this … Continue reading “Tarty Alexa”

February 13, 2019

The Modern Day Marie Antoinette

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests that is wrong that the Duchess of Sussex is being treated as a victim; she chose her path and it is time she accepted that with being a public figure, criticism will follow   Any criticism of “She Who Must Be Obeyed” – AKA the former Meghan Markle – is immediately condemned … Continue reading “The Modern Day Marie Antoinette”

February 11, 2019

Happily Poor

by Matthew Steeples

“Lotto lout” Michael Carroll’s reaction to becoming utterly broke will surprise   Howard Hughes once said: “Money can’t buy happiness” and then someone else later added: “Somehow it’s more comfortable crying in a Porsche than on a bicycle.”   News, therefore, that “Lotto lout” Michael Carroll – a man who blew the £10 million jackpot … Continue reading “Happily Poor”

February 5, 2019

Manic Meghan

by Matthew Steeples

The ‘modern day Mrs Simpson,’ the Duchess of Sussex’s, behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic; she needs to learn to control herself or she will indeed become a true laughing stock   As plain old Meghan Markle, she was known for “carefully planning” publicity stunts on Instagram and elsewhere. ‘Murky Mucky’ likes being in charge but … Continue reading “Manic Meghan”

February 2, 2019

Is That The Chinese Takeaway?

by Matthew Steeples

A tribute to Clive Swift, better known as Richard Bucket in the classic sitcom ‘Keeping Up Appearances’   Some might say: “They don’t make television like they used to” but in the case of Keeping Up Appearances it most definitely is true.   Yesterday, with the death of Liverpool born actor Clive Swift, who played … Continue reading “Is That The Chinese Takeaway?”

January 29, 2019

Wallies of the Week – Foolish Fogle and Joyless Judy

by Matthew Steeples

Ben Fogle and Judy Finnigan are our most worthy Wallies of the Week   Two of the most irritating people to inflict misery on our screens have yet again excelled themselves.   First, booze loving Judy Finnigan admitted in her Daily Express column that she “gulped jolly little bright blue [Ibuprofen] capsules,” developed stomach ulcers … Continue reading “Wallies of the Week – Foolish Fogle and Joyless Judy”

January 27, 2019

Fishwife Ferne

by Matthew Steeples

Reality television ‘star’ and ex-girlfriend of acid thrower Ferne McCann caught hurling drinks at National Television Awards   Ferne McCann and chucking things seem to go together. First, the father of her child was deservedly jailed after attacking 22 innocent people with acid and now it has been revealed that this Brentwood born broad chucked … Continue reading “Fishwife Ferne”

January 21, 2019

Awarding a Pun

by Matthew Steeples

Rat-like party crasher David Pun puts in an appearance at the ‘Mayfair Times’ Awards at Claridge’s   Last night, at Claridge’s, blagger and ligger David Pun put in appearance for the Mayfair Times Awards 2019.   No doubt pretending to be a director of Harvey Nichols, Peninsula Hotels and an architect also, Pun sported his … Continue reading “Awarding a Pun”

January 18, 2019

A Knightsbridge Nuisance

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’ highlights Knightsbridge’s worst nuisance neighbour; meet hotel and leisure fund manager Jochen Schaefer-Suren   Jochen Schaefer-Suren clearly is someone with a passion for harbouring a grudge and an individual prone to intimidating others.   Yesterday, at Kensington Town Hall, this cowardly individual failed to personally to turn up in a case lawyers … Continue reading “A Knightsbridge Nuisance”

January 5, 2019

The Collapse of Chelsea Character

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples celebrates the nicknames of Chelsea’s characters but regrets that the area itself is rapidly being stripped of the very character that made it so appealing   In Chelsea well-known barflies and lavish lunchers have long been given wacky nicknames. Amongst my friends and acquaintances are ‘Steve the Lunch’ (known for planning where to … Continue reading “The Collapse of Chelsea Character”

January 1, 2019

The People of 2018

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times selects the best and worst people of the year past and the ones that’ll be missed   Today, as we wish our readers all the very best for the coming year, we announce the winners and losers of our People of 2018 awards. Here we recall the best, the worst and the … Continue reading “The People of 2018”

December 29, 2018

Brash Beatrice

by Matthew Steeples

Has ‘Tatler’ magazine lost the plot? They’ve named Princess Beatrice one of their “best dressed of the year”   Princess Beatrice is well-known for her fashion fails. From hideous hats to dowdy dresses, the daughter of ‘Randy Andy’ and the Duchess of York rarely fails to deliver a ‘look’ that nobody would want to imitate … Continue reading “Brash Beatrice”

December 24, 2018

The Flaws of Ferne

by Matthew Steeples

Ferne McCann yet again shows herself to be nothing but a vile opportunist; she should be taken off our screens   Ferne McCann undoubtedly proved herself a horror in 2017. On the day Arthur Collins, her former boyfriend and father of her child, was jailed in December that year for hurling acid over 22 innocent … Continue reading “The Flaws of Ferne”

December 22, 2018

(Not So) Mad Friday

by Matthew Steeples

‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples   Last year, as I walked across the Royal Borough in the evening of the day known as ‘Mad Friday’ or ‘Black Friday’ – the Friday before Christmas and the most popular night of the year for the public to go mental on the … Continue reading “(Not So) Mad Friday”

December 19, 2018

Yuletide Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt shares his views on his ex-wife and her family, Lord Rothermere and others who’ve caused him ill – be prepared to be surprised at what he has to say   In a 12:28 minute video uploaded to YouTube, James Stunt has produced a Christmas missive in which he shares his thoughts on his … Continue reading “Yuletide Stunt”

December 7, 2018

Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood

by Matthew Steeples

Petulant child Tom Harwood makes a nuisance of himself on ‘Politics Live’ after previously claiming he can singlehandedly defeat ISIS and making comparison of Brexit to using a condom   “Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.” Spike Milligan, Puckoon (1963)   Former leader of the student wing of Vote Leave Tom Harwood describes … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood”

November 5, 2018

Bog Room Ben

by Matthew Steeples

That Ben Fogle shared his views on “bathroom style” speaks volumes to where he is positioned in society   Yesterday, in The Sunday Times, television presenter Ben Fogle joined the likes of the poker faced interior decorator Kelly Hoppen and shared details of what the paper called “The Bath to Glory.”   God help us … Continue reading “Bog Room Ben”

October 25, 2018

Pun Parties With Police

by Matthew Steeples

David Pun arrested at a party in London   Last night in Mayfair, David Pun was arrested in full view of invited guests. Cuffed and taken to a police station, this renowned party crasher finally was brought to book.   Having pretended to own Harvey Nichols and Peninsula Hotels on occasions, Pun is the very … Continue reading “Pun Parties With Police”

October 22, 2018

Overheard – 22nd October 2018

by Matthew Steeples

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’   Mobile Arabs An Arab sat outside a shisha café on Brompton Road told her friend: “I lost my phone in Harrods today but I went back and they’d found it. Thank God it was Harrods. They’d have been so racist anywhere else but … Continue reading “Overheard – 22nd October 2018”

September 21, 2018

Murky Stirring

by Matthew Steeples

The Duchess of Sussex attempts to morph into a modern day Mary Berry   Mary Berry is annoying enough but now, it seems, there could be a royal attempting to steal this pest’s thunder.   Yesterday at Kensington Palace, accompanied by her “ice-breaker” mother Doria Ragland, the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle launched a … Continue reading “Murky Stirring”

September 19, 2018

Stunt About Town

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt admits to failing to snare a lady he describes as “a true thoroughbred”   A man capable of getting just about whatever he wants, billionaire and art connoisseur James Stunt has finally met his match in a glamourous and well-connected woman.   Sharing his news with The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples, Stunt showed … Continue reading “Stunt About Town”

September 16, 2018

The Talented Tinker

by Matthew Steeples

Actor Dudley Sutton – AKA ‘Lovejoy’s’ Tinker – passes away aged 85 shortly after giving an interview lauding the NHS   The talented actor and regular at the Chelsea Arts Club, Dudley Sutton sadly died yesterday after a short battle with cancer.   Best known for playing Tinker Dill in the brilliant BBC comedy-drama series … Continue reading “The Talented Tinker”

September 15, 2018

Thanks Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

Alexa Chung transitions from “fashion genius” to “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports; Matthew Steeples asks: “Who’d want to miss such important news?”   Is there nothing that the ‘Queen of Instagram’ (with her 3.1 million followers) Alexa Chung cannot master? This “phenomenon,”  “starlet” and “human” (that’s her very own description … Continue reading “Thanks Alexa”

September 14, 2018

Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness

by Matthew Steeples

Racist Marie-Claire, ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben spotted dashing for sparkling wine as she ‘works the room’ at chi-chi antiques fair   Last night at LAPADA, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting innocents complete with her trademark helmet hairstyle, Marie-Claire ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben perched on a bench at the entrance.   The wannabe Elnett ambassador’s eyes beamed when … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – A Bottled Baroness”

September 12, 2018

An Almighty Allsopp

by Matthew Steeples

Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part?   On Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show on Monday, one of the panel, The Hon. Kirstie Allsopp, shared that she’d smashed up her children’s iPads because they weren’t using them responsibly. … Continue reading “An Almighty Allsopp”

September 10, 2018

Bagging Beckham

by Matthew Steeples

As Victoria Beckham embraces being a ‘bag lady,’  one could argue she’d simply do best to keep her head inside for good   On the surface, Victoria Beckham has it all: Fame, fortune and friends. In spite of this, this pop princess turned fashion fiesta never smiles and frankly seems as miserable as sin.   … Continue reading “Bagging Beckham”

September 1, 2018

The Hypocrite Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Christian crooner Cliff Richard rightly accused of “hypocrisy” after launching his pretentiously titled new album ‘Rise Up’ on the BBC   Cliff Richard likes to have his cake and eat it. He extraordinarily received £210,000 damages against the BBC over the supposed invasion of his privacy but now he’s back on the Corporation’s channels plugging … Continue reading “The Hypocrite Cliff”

August 24, 2018

Haaz Sleiman – What’s on your mantelpiece?

by General

A 20-question interview with Lebanese-American actor Haaz Sleiman; he has starred in ‘24’, ‘ER’, ‘Killing Jesus’, ‘NCIS’, ‘Nurse Jackie’ and ‘Person of Interest’   The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? Love.   “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours? “If you can’t … Continue reading “Haaz Sleiman – What’s on your mantelpiece?”

August 22, 2018

The Arab Arrival

by Matthew Steeples

As Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road is invaded by Arabs, The Steeple Times finds that there is both good and bad in their number   Last night, it was a party of two halves on Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road.   At one end, close to the Caramel restaurant, a gaggle of vulgar Chanel handbag wielding Arab women (pictured … Continue reading “The Arab Arrival”

August 20, 2018

Porn Pest Pun

by Matthew Steeples

Gatecrasher David Pun evicted from London hotel for watching porn   Aside from gatecrashing parties and nabbing gift bags, it seems David Pun likes to visit London hotels to check his emails.   A photograph captured at a South Kensington establishment we shall not name shows this reprobate ligger using a computer meant for resident … Continue reading “Porn Pest Pun”

August 13, 2018

Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests Noel Edmonds’ latest outburst just confirms himself to be a strange, publicity desperate fool   Spiritualist television personality Noel Edmonds is certainly an off-the-scale oddity. He blamed the banking giant HBOS for getting cancer and then claimed he knew of an electric box that could cure the disease; he tried to “comfort” … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds”

April 25, 2018

Cliff The Airhead

by Matthew Steeples

Crackpot Christian crooner Cliff Richard’s lawyers allude to him owning air   The libel case brought by Sir Cliff Richard – a self-declared “genuine international celebrity” with an ego the size of China – against the BBC took an unexpected turn yesterday, according to a report on the corporation’s very own website.   In an … Continue reading “Cliff The Airhead”

April 20, 2018

Potted Trolls

by Matthew Steeples

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is right to speak out against those of the belief that social media trolls should simply be ignored suggests Matthew Steeples   As someone subject to daily abuse on social media at the hands of mostly deranged, aged right-wing trolls, I was truly impressed that the author J.K. Rowling took … Continue reading “Potted Trolls”

April 17, 2018

Analysing Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

The Cambridge Analytica connection you’ve most likely never heard of; meet The Hon. Thomas Borwick, son of ex-Tory MP Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick   The Hon. Thomas Borwick is a figure in the Cambridge Analytica scandal you’ve probably never heard of.   Bizarrely largely overlooked by the mainstream media, the son of the ousted … Continue reading “Analysing Borwick”

March 4, 2018

#LazyBrady

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests ‘Lady’ Karren Brady of Knightsbridge has shown herself to be nothing but a muckspreader in her latest pathetic opinion piece for ‘The Sun’   The Steeple Times delighted in exposing the former Member of Parliament for Kensington, Lady Borwick, as #LazyBorwick during the 2017 General Election campaign and now, it seems, we … Continue reading “#LazyBrady”

February 27, 2018

Stunt Speaks Out

by Matthew Steeples

EXCLUSIVE – James Stunt responds to inaccurate press coverage of his forthcoming interview with ‘Tatler’ magazine   Today, in response to various press reports, James Stunt contacted The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples to issue a response to inaccurate press coverage of a forthcoming interview that will be published in the April edition of Tatler magazine. … Continue reading “Stunt Speaks Out”

February 26, 2018

Clear The Roads

by Matthew Steeples

Irresponsible Volkswagen Polo driver – registration HW06 CWM – needs to be removed from Britain’s roads   Jeremy Clarkson regularly shares the registration plates of irresponsible motorists he spots on his Twitter feed and having encountered similarly bad driving yesterday, here we share imagery of a woman who deserves to be removed from Britain’s roads. … Continue reading “Clear The Roads”

December 29, 2017

Class v. Brass

by Matthew Steeples

Whilst the Chelsea Arts Club is right to put on a bit of Moulin Rouge this season, Petra Ecclestone’s show next door is nothing but gaudy   In their final outing of the year, the Chelsea Arts Club have decorated their façade with a theme based upon Moulin Rouge. It stands out but it has … Continue reading “Class v. Brass”

December 27, 2017

The Rise of James Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests James Stunt as a man to watch in 2018   James Stunt was not a man I expected to have much time for let alone come to actually like. Prior to meeting him properly this summer, I tended towards the opinion that he was somewhat brash but now, having spent time in … Continue reading “The Rise of James Stunt”

December 23, 2017

Mad K&C

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples reports on ‘Mad Friday’s’ arrival in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea   Vomit on the pavement and kids pissed on the streets: A standard night in Newcastle on ‘Mad Friday’ but this year this horrific occurrence hit the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea with vengeance and with equal aplomb to … Continue reading “Mad K&C”

December 22, 2017

Calendar Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Cliff Richard pompously announces his calendar sales “leaves David Beckham standing” and makes Kylie Minogue’s look “meagre”   “The Peter Pan of Pop” Sir Cliff Richard is in jubilant mood. After having seen off various interesting allegations against him in 2016, the Christian singer has taken to the Internet to announce his calendar sales … Continue reading “Calendar Cliff”

December 21, 2017

Happy Buckethead

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Buckethead moves on from taking on Theresa May in Maidenhead and records a Christmas song; it’s brilliant   The fabulous Lord Buckethead has done it again. First, this wacky enigma took on the woman rightly described as “Britain’s worst ever Prime Minister” in Maidenhead in June and got 249 votes and now he’s made … Continue reading “Happy Buckethead”

November 30, 2017

Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle

by Matthew Steeples

Kushner-Trump mouthpiece Andre Walker’s attack on Meghan Markle was an utter disgrace; it is time that this warped weirdo was called out for what he truly is   Unsurprisingly yesterday, the self-declared “fat Northern bruiser” turned Jared Kushner’s London based mouthpiece Andre Walker appeared on Sky News to defend Donald Trump’s “right” to retweet far … Continue reading “Warped Walker vs. Magnificent Markle”

November 27, 2017

Anything but Meek

by Matthew Steeples

What first attracted ‘Hot Felon’ Jeremy Meeks to the daughter of the billionaire ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green?   One could argue the criminal Jeremy Meeks hit the jackpot when his mugshot went viral and a modeling career as the ‘Hot Felon’ ensued. Not only did he achieve such, but one could argue he had a … Continue reading “Anything but Meek”

November 21, 2017

Modern Day Foxes and Hedgehogs

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times examines Archilochus’ concept of ‘foxes’ and ‘hedgehogs and applies such to modern day personalities   According to the Greek poet Archilochus: “The fox knows many things, but a hedgehog one important thing.” Isaiah Berlin explored this premise in greater detail in his 1953 essay The Hedgehog and the Fox and identified ‘hedgehogs’ … Continue reading “Modern Day Foxes and Hedgehogs”

November 16, 2017

The Trouble with Tamara

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples (attempts) to review ITVBe’s new series about the life of wealthy heiress Tamara Ecclestone (but doesn’t get very far)   I was going to write a scathing review of Tamara Ecclestone’s attempt to outdo Kim Kardashian with the new ITVBe series about her privileged life, Tamara’s World. Then, after wasting 60 minutes watching … Continue reading “The Trouble with Tamara”

November 13, 2017

Opening up Menéndez

by Matthew Steeples

Previously publicity shy Menéndez brothers both speak publicly about killing their parents in the wake of the success of NBC’s ‘Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders’   Erik and Lyle Menéndez, the brothers convicted of murdering their allegedly abusive multi-millionaire parents José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez at their home in Beverly Hills, California … Continue reading “Opening up Menéndez”

October 27, 2017

A Bigoted Bash

by Matthew Steeples

Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben starts (yet another) racist tirade at a party in London and launches a website where she brands herself ‘Incredible Marie-Claire’   Last night, at a party in London, a bigoted baroness launched into a racist tirade about immigration and the European Union.   At the event in St James’s, Marie-Claire von … Continue reading “A Bigoted Bash”

October 21, 2017

Moron of the Moment – Stephanie Mack

by Matthew Steeples

Daughter-in-law of fraudster Bernard Madoff illustrates how utterly out of touch she truly is with normality and the lives of ordinary, decent people   “The biggest mistake is putting on something you don’t feel comfortable in” casually commented Stephanie Mack (formerly Madoff) to The New York Times’ ‘Style’ in an interview this week.   As … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Stephanie Mack”

October 17, 2017

Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley

by Matthew Steeples

Sanctimonious champagne grabber Richard Madeley makes inappropriate joke about alleged abuser Harvey Weinstein   Richard Madeley rather loves the sound of his own voice. Decades ago he formed part of a tediously sanctimonious duo known to the nation as ‘Richard and Judy’ but now this irritating pair – though surprisingly still married – pretty much … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley”

October 16, 2017

More on Menéndez

by Matthew Steeples

As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ and brands their conviction for killing their wealthy parents “imperfect self-defence”   Renewed interest in the 1989 murders of the multi-millionaires José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez by their sons, Erik and Lyle, has … Continue reading “More on Menéndez”

October 9, 2017

Avoidable Ignominy

by Matthew Steeples

Hillary Clinton clutching the chest of Harvey Weinstein represents a judgment choice as bad as that of Prince Andrew hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein   In 2012, Hillary Clinton was excruciatingly pictured with her hands on the chest of the movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.   The now alleged “violator of women” Weinstein was yesterday described … Continue reading “Avoidable Ignominy”

October 1, 2017

An Excess of Alexa

by Matthew Steeples

‘Mail on Sunday’ get a little beyond carried away with their latest toady description of Alexa Chung   ‘Fashionista’ Alexa Chung, as we’ve suggested previously, is probably a perfectly nice person. However, though she’s lauded by the metropolitan elite, nobody in Newcastle likely gives a damn and frankly, on that basis, we cannot fathom why … Continue reading “An Excess of Alexa”

September 20, 2017

Hammering Harris

by Matthew Steeples

Two works by paedophile Rolf Harris withdrawn from auction whilst one of a baby remains for sale online   In the wake of his conviction in 2014 for abusing women and girls as young as 8 years old, many of the frankly crap paintings by the repugnant monster Rolf Harris were burnt by those who’d … Continue reading “Hammering Harris”

September 14, 2017

Hero of the Hour – Farhad Neda

by Matthew Steeples

Farhad Neda rescued his disabled mother from the 23rd floor of the Grenfell Tower; they are the only survivors from the penultimate level of the building   Whilst others headed upwards tragically wrongly thinking a helicopter would rescue them, 23rd floor resident of the Grenfell Tower 24-year old Farhad Neda realised the best course of … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Farhad Neda”

September 9, 2017

Gaining a Lambo (or five)

by Matthew Steeples

Convoy of five yellow Lamborghinis spotted cruising around Kensington and Chelsea   Someone once said: “Work until you feel a Lamborghini is cheap” and plainly the owner of a convoy currently in London has exactly that attitude.   Pictured here on Brompton Road opposite the former premises of La Brasserie, a fleet of five yellow … Continue reading “Gaining a Lambo (or five)”

August 27, 2017

Picture of the Week – The Lack of Appeal of ‘The Half Biscuit’

by Matthew Steeples

Facebook group mocks racist online abuser Viscount St Davids as he returns to the clink   On Friday, the dimwitted ‘half biscuit’ 4th Viscount St Davids – also known as amongst other things Rhodri Philipps and Baron Strange of Knockin – was returned to jail after attempting and then dropping an appeal against a sentence … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – The Lack of Appeal of ‘The Half Biscuit’”

August 8, 2017

Congratulations Bill

by General

‘Songwriter to the Stars’ Bill Martin to perform for first time at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe; he will enlighten his audience about his successful career   Glasgow born Bill Martin MBE – whose chart topping hits have included Congratulations, Puppet on a String and Shang-A-Lang – is performing a nightly show at The Dome during … Continue reading “Congratulations Bill”

August 7, 2017

Calmed Down Cameron

by Matthew Steeples

David Cameron snapped ‘Hugging a Corbyn’ after he’s revealed to have a ‘Calm Down – It’s Only a Recession’ in his kitchen and a £25,000 shepherd’s hut in his garden   David Cameron is plainly enjoying life to the full. Not only has he been rewarded with a huge literary advance after walking away after … Continue reading “Calmed Down Cameron”

August 1, 2017

United in Plastic

by Matthew Steeples

‘Bride of Wildenstein’ Jocelyn Wildenstein reunites with her lover Lloyd Klein; the plastic faced couple will marry at some point in the future   Yesterday, the world’s ugliest woman announced she is to marry the world’s vainest man in an exclusive feature in the DailyMail.com.   According to the paper, Jocelyn Wildenstein – a New … Continue reading “United in Plastic”

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