Matthew Steeples remarks on the conviction of Bernie Ecclestone; a diminutive dwarf who’ll go down in history as a convicted criminal fraudster
Of the cretinous coffin dodger Bernard Charles Ecclestone he’d made a documentary about, writer and producer Manish Pandey once remarked: “He’s 5-foot, 3 inches tall, working class, [had] no formal education after the age of 15, with one working eye… There’s nothing ostensibly going for him.”
Now, going further, three words can be added to the resume of this appalling apologist for maniacs including Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Putin and bestie of the ratbag royal Prince Andrew. Those three words? “Convicted criminal fraudster.”
Yesterday, the father of a bunch of overindulged braying brats Ecclestone agreed to pay nearly £653 million in back taxes and fines to His Majesty’s Revenue & Customs (HMRC) and pleaded guilty to fraud. He was subsequently sentenced to 17 months jail time suspended for two years came and now will go down in history for his clear and shameful criminality.
Whilst Wikipedia have yet to update the introductory paragraphs of their entry of a man who should be spending the remainder of his rotten life in the clink, what has been set is actually a terrible precedent. Here is an example of something akin to what was once said of Donald Trump; if you owe the bank a dollar, the bank closes you down, but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.
Instead of truly punishing this bombastic billionaire as would have occurred to ordinary people caught committing tax fraud, the payment of a substantial sum to HMRC now allows 92-year-old Ecclestone to buy his way out of time in a prison cell. He instead joins a club of rich people who basically think they’re above the law, but forever more any media mention of him should begin with the words “convicted criminal fraudster Bernie Ecclestone.”
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BOG OFF BERNIE! BERNIE ECCLESTONE’S WORST MOMENTS
A poisonous penny-pinching dwarf and well-known as a “coffin dodger,” convicted criminal fraudster Bernie Ecclestone – a bestie of the man who paid £12 million to a woman he claims never to have met Prince Andrew – couldn’t give a damn about anything other than money. He’ll mouth off in support of anyone who might help him get just a little bit more, but really should just be told to bog off!
On President Vladimir Putin:
“[He] should be running Europe… He should be in Brussels running Europe… We should get rid of Brussels and he should just be in charge.”
“Honestly, I think the guy who be running Europe, impressed me more than anything, is Mr Putin because he’s a guy that says he’s going to do something and does it… [He’s] a first-class person.”
“He does what he says he’s gonna do, he gets the job done. I mean people don’t understand exactly what he wants to do… He wants to put Russia back to what it was.”
“I was with [Putin] after the [2014 Sochi Winter] Olympics on the top of the bloody mountain… We had a meeting, just the two of us, and we came out and we were walking along and people were coming up to him asking for an autograph… That’s what people think of him.”
“If someone had a machine gun and was prepared to shoot Putin, I would stand in front of him because he’s a good guy. He’s never done anything that isn’t doing good things for people.”
On President Putin’s intolerance to gay people in Russia:
“When I was at school, if you did something wrong, the teacher used to say: ‘Go and get the punishment book and the cane. Go to your headmistress and get a few whacks or something.’ That’s what he does.”
Asked on another occasion on Good Morning Britain about Putin after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine:
“I’d still take a bullet for him… Everyone makes mistakes from time to time.”
On President Donald Trump:
“I think he’d be fantastic [as President of the United States of America]. I’m sure he’s much more flexible than most of them. If he’s made a mistake, he’s more likely to say: ‘It was a good idea at the time.’”
“He has done a lot of good things for the world.”
On Adolf Hitler:
“Apart from the fact that Hitler got taken away and persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to do or not, he was in the way that he could command a lot of people, able to get things done… He wasn’t a dictator.”
On democracy:
“I am not a supporter of democracy. You need a dictator. As a dictator, you say: ‘This what I am going to do.’ In a democracy, it gets watered down.”
On Jewish people:
“They have a lot of influence everywhere.”
On black people:
“In a lot of cases, black people are more racist than what white people are.”
Of democracy in the United Kingdom:
“If you have a look at a democracy it hasn’t done a lot of good for many countries – including this one.”
Of his crackpot suggestion that the now late Max Mosley, son of the late Fascist Oswald Mosley, might have been Prime Minister of Great Britain:
“[He would have done] a super job… I don’t think his background would [have been] a problem.”
On Brexit:
“I’m 100% an outer.”
On his wealth:
“I’ve got enough I can do with my money.”
On following the rules:
“I never stopped breaking the rules.”
Asked if immigrants had made a contribution to the UK:
“They have not.”
On who is worth speaking to:
“Anyone who doesn’t speak English isn’t worth speaking to… I’d rather get to the 70-year-old guy who has a lot of cash.”
On journalists:
“I can’t remember a single occasion when I have been kind to a journalist.”
Asked if he’d consider publishing an autobiography:
“The morning after I die. And the first 12 copies will go to the Inland Revenue.”
Asked about whether he’d be talking about his criminal conviction and suspended sentence of 17 months:
“No. Bloody lawyers.”
On social media:
“I think the change that is currently taking place is very short-lived, as these social media people are starting to think it is not as good as they thought.”
On waiters and prostitutes:
“Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them.”
On women:
“You know, I’ve got one of those wonderful ideas… Women should be all dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”
“What I would really like to see happen is to find the right girl, perhaps a black girl with super looks, preferably Jewish or Muslim, who speaks Spanish.”
To Richard Madeley about his decision to refuse to change his latest child’s nappies:
“That’s what wives are for.”
On women participating in Formula 1:
“I don’t know whether a woman would physically be able to drive an F1 car quickly, and they wouldn’t be taken seriously.”
On Lewis Hamilton:
“I don’t find him particularly engaging… He’s not particularly you would say black.”
On the corrupt criminal and disgraced banker Gerhard Gribkowsky:
“Dear old Gribkowsky… I don’t blame him because I would have probably done the same if I could have done it. He found the weak spot, found some leverage and used it. You can’t blame somebody for doing that.”
On the individuals who kidnapped his mother-in-law:
“If I get upset, how could it help?”
On his business career and his family’s Bambino Holdings offshore trust:
“I’ve got the highest position there is. So high that when I look down, I can’t see anything.”
“Maybe the most serious thing I regret was giving my shares to my ex [Slavica Radić], because when she them all in a trust for her and the kids, I lost control.”