As Isabel Oakeshott offers to write Prince Andrew’s memoirs, Matthew Steeples asks: “Why is the freeloader Sarah, Duchess of York back out grifting once again?”
Last night a “suited and booted” Sarah, Duchess of York was once again out and about in London. After dining at the rather ritzy Harry’s Bar on Wednesday, the live-in ex-wife of he-who-doesn’t-sweat ‘Randy Andy’ attended the premiere of the new Liam Neeson “thriller” Marlowe on Thursday evening.
Whilst the MailOnline’s Claire Toureille predictably arselicked and suggested the dimwitted dunce formerly known as Sarah Ferguson “put on a very stylish display” and “added extra glamour with a leopard detail at the cuffs of her blazer,” what this non-journalist didn’t enquire about was what has been on the minds of anyone with half-a-brain and that is: “Why is ‘Freeloader Fergie’ back out there grifting again?”
Called out by the Daily Mail’s ‘Ephraim Harcastle’ in a snippet that asked: “What is Sarah Ferguson playing at?” and featured in an article elsewhere titled: “Duchess Dishes The Dirt,” the grubby grifter that is the constant companion of Prince Andrew, it must be remembered, has still failed to answer the most important question of all.
That question? Again, today, we’ll remind Sarah, Duchess of York of it. Did she ever repay the loans and other benefits she took from the since croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein? “Curious how recollections vary.”
Elsewhere this week on Twitter, the “poison pen” (most definitely not a journalist) Isabel Oakeshott took to declare her desire for a new project. Presumably struggling to find work after breaching the code of never burning a source, the lover of the chlorinated chicken loving Richard Tice stated: “Dear Prince Andrew – I’ll happily ghostwrite your book. If you have no dark secrets, an NDA won’t be required…”
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Pictured Top (left to right) – A spoof mocking ‘Freeloader Fergie’s’ attempts at novel writing; the decidedly dimwitted dunce duchess and the grubby gym kit loving Isabel Oakeshott.
The Weird Words of “Greedy” and “Needy” Freeloader Sarah, Duchess of York
Given the live-in ex-wife at Royal Lodge, Windsor of supposedly skint ‘Randy Andy’ – a non-sweating man who got his long-suffering relatives to pay a supposed sum of circa £12 million to Virginia Roberts Giuffre, a woman he has previously claimed to have met – is in on a world tour to prattle on to anyone who pays to listen, perhaps she should be reminded of her own weird and even weirder warblings. They number:
Of sex, her and goats: “One of the worst headlines said 82% [of the population] would rather sleep with a goat than Fergie. It’s never left me.”
Of the royal family: “They tried to put the little redhead in a cage.”
Of her own family: “I do believe in family unity. I think forgiveness is key.”
Of the Duke of York: “A good man… In 1986, I married a very good man. Zip.”
Of supporting her disgraced ex-husband financially: “I will always be there [for Prince Andrew].”
“When Andrew went through a hard time, I used to be able to throw it to ‘The Boss.’”
“Since he stepped back [from royal duties] he doesn’t actually take taxpayers’ money and I’m in a position where I can support him and the rest of the family through my work. And I’m really pleased and proud to do that.”
“All I will say is that for many years now – it started with Budgie the Little Helicopter – I’ve really pushed to look after my girls and to contribute to the York family life.”
Of her daughters Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie: “Exceptional… I love my girlies, I’m so proud of them. They are exceptional children… If mum’s OK, they’re OK.”
Of the late Queen Elizabeth II: “More my mother than my mother… The Queen was like a hand of support behind your back without being there.”
“For the whole nation, for the world. Steadfast, consistent, iconic. [She had an] extraordinary ability to put someone at ease. I still now think it was such an honour [to have known her].”
“During the last three years, her poor son [was] going through such a tumultuous time… And I think HM was very relieved I could help her with him, so we became even closer, then.”
Of the late Queen’s corgis: “They’re very good boys, they’re very gentle. I think they knew that they weren’t to jump up and be naughty. They used to sit and watch the racing with her. And when you give them a biscuit, they don’t snatch. They’re very special, they’re national treasures.”
Of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex: “I have been judged all my life, and I have no judgment on the Sussexes.”
“It must be hard for Meghan and can I relate to her. I believe she is modern and fabulous. She was famous before. She is great. Why can’t Meghan be great? Why can’t she be celebrated? I have been in Meghan’s shoes, and I still am. There’s always a twist of negativity and it just gets so sad and tiring… I abhor bullying and I feel desperately sorry for the pain they must be going through.”
Of herself and her life: “I have been in the gutter.”
“I’m a brilliant mother. The best mother.”
“I don’t believe that any single person has the right to judge another person. I’m not in a position myself to make any judgments.”
Of food, family and dining: “As long as it is hot, wet and goes down the right way, it’s fine with me.”
“With every smell, I smell food. With every sight, I see food. I can almost hear food. I want to spade the whole lot through my mouth at Mach 2. Basta!”
“We all sit round the table and eat together. Andrew and I believe in total parent unity. We’re best friends.”
On the coronation of King Charles III: “Well I’ve decided the best thing about British around a coronation – although I’ve never been to one – I think we should, I should set up a tea room at the bottom of the drive with bunting and cakes.”
Of wanting to be a television star: “I would quite like to go on Dancing With The Stars. I would like somebody to teach me to tango. I do know the show and my children would be so proud of me.”
Of when she decided she wanted to bag a royal: “I met [Prince Andrew] when I was 12, and I said: ‘I’m going to marry him.’”
Of marriage, divorce and work: “I left my marriage knowing I’d have to work. I have.”
“I didn’t want a divorce, but had to because of circumstance.”
“I wish we’d never got divorced. He and I both wish we’d never divorced, but we did. I wish I could go back and be the bride again, but I can’t.”
Of her many, many mistakes: “I felt that I ostracised myself by my behaviour, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake. Why have I made so many mistakes?”
“You look at the devil in the face, which you do. Then you forgive, and you say: ‘OK, I’ve made almost a mistake that will never be forgotten,’ and forgive.”
“I was so out of control with desperation… I was looking for quick fixes in the places I wouldn’t normally look… I’ve been a huge overtrusting, idiotic, stupid woman that went to look for the perfect situation, and that’s all I can say really.”