Mariella Frostup heartlessly berates a woman married to an alcoholic
Mariella Frostrup was described as having “the sexiest female voice on TV” in 2008. She was born in Norway, is the daughter of an alcoholic and has political views described as “a bit left-of-centre”. She hob-knobs with Gerard Butler, Graydon Carter, George Clooney and Hugh Grant and is the voice of Black Cow Vodka but on Sunday, in The Observer, she responded to a letter from the wife of a heavy drinker in an unnecessarily pompous and heartless manner.
In a letter to Frostrup, published in her “Dear Mariella” column, an unnamed correspondent shared her dilemma:
I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 14 years. We have a 13-year-old son, and two older kids from my previous marriage. I had an affair with a black man from 2007 until 2009. I had kept it a secret from my husband until he found out from my diary in 2010. Since then he has started drinking three or four bottles of wine a night and blames his drinking on me. He has been hospitalised and in rehab many times for his alcoholism.
Our son is suffering because when my husband drinks he gets aggressive and my son has to stand between us to stop him hitting me. I have seriously thought about leaving without a trace. Maybe my son will be happier without a mother who is so pathetic.
Frostrup’s response was direct and aside from perfectly sensibly suggesting this lady “must remove your son and yourself from this man’s grip”, she surprisingly added:
In the circumstances I’m tempted to ignore you describing your ex-lover as a “black man” as though it was his skin-colour, rather than your affair, that provoked your spouse. Instead, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt; like the spouses of many abusers you are probably just trying to find blame in yourself for your abuser’s crimes against you.
If your husband considers your choice of lover a further insult then he’s even more monstrous than you have described. We’re not living in apartheid South Africa now, or in one of the many countries today where abuse at home is considered the divine right of husbands. Your lover’s racial make-up has absolutely nothing to do with the problems you are enduring today.
Frostrup then curtly added: “It’s time you stopped looking for excuses”. We beg to differ and would argue this lady instead seeks the ear of some with an ounce of sympathy.