Classic clangers from the last week
Banking it
A French banker in the clubhouse at Wentworth was overheard to say: “I sold my shares for only $78 million”. One of his two companions failed to look shocked and responded: “Is that all? We thought you’d made a hell of a load more”. He realised he’d failed to impress so added: “What I forgot to mention was that I still own 51% of the company”. The first of the companions dropped his club sandwich in utter shock and said: “Oh? We better take you seriously now”.
Showing the wealth
A South African in Aubaine in South Kensington told his wife: “We’re having lunch at the Bulgari. I don’t care if you think we should go to Scott’s. It’s not good enough. It’s not expensive enough. We’ve got to make a statement to Paul: He needs to know we’ve got more cash than him”. He better be sure also to flash his Black Amex.
Breakfasting
An Indian outside The Enterprise in Walton Street proclaimed: “The worst word in English has to be ‘breakfast’. It’s disgusting. Here they eat like goats. What is wrong with them?” Plainly a man in need of a fry up.
Range Rovering the wife
An Essex geezer sat in the lobby of the Jumeirah Carlton Tower: “I’ll take £27,500 for it”. His companion answered: “What? Are you mad? £27,500 for a brand new Range Rover. Surely not”. The geezer: “I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve got get out of this position. I beyond broke”. “Fine. I’ll do it mate but you’ve got to throw in something else: I want your wife”. The geezer: “Great stuff. I’d gladly pay you to take her anyway”.
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