Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Laughable Drinks
“I’ll have a Seedlip [a disgusting tasting, overpriced non-alcoholic spirit that tastes of tree bark] and tonic” announced a millennial at a bar in Chelsea. Their friend then curiously added: “I’ll have a non-sparking water, please.” A well-known local barfly chipped in: “You two sound like a barrel of laughs.”
Diseased Beer
At the same bar on another occasion, a young man asked for a Peroni. On being told they didn’t stock it, said individual responded: “What f**king kind of bar is this?” The Portuguese barman answered: “We are in Brexit Britain, sir, and Italy’s riddled with coronavirus.”
Farming Out Coronavirus
In a letter to The Times yesterday, one Helen Nakielny of Talley, Carmarthenshire observed: “Sir, I note that a cabinet minister is self-isolating. In Wales we call this practice ‘farming.’” Send for the sheep.
No Discount Mayfair
A reader spotted Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in a Mayfair restaurant, Isabel. They emailed and stated: “Daddy will be disappointed given there are most certainly no Pizza Express (Woking branch) discounts there.” Ouch.
Windermere’s Drawing
“I was in my drawing room, my drawing room, did you get that? My drawing room” stated a genteel South Kensington matriarch to her younger companion at lunch. “It is a shame that people do not get the important bit. It’s a drawing room and most certainly not a sitting room.” Lady Windermere would have been extremely proud.
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