Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Mobile Arabs
An Arab sat outside a shisha café on Brompton Road told her friend: “I lost my phone in Harrods today but I went back and they’d found it. Thank God it was Harrods. They’d have been so racist anywhere else but Harrods, they love us. In this country, it’s whites first and us second but in Harrods, it’s the other way round.”
Lunching (Un)like Liz
At Granger in Chelsea, a Hill House mother chatted with another of her number. She stated: “I go to lunch at 4.30pm as I don’t do breakfast or dinner. You know why: I don’t want to end up looking like Liz Hurley, do I?”
Standard Death
A pair of Russian women lunched at Chiltern Firehouse. One announced: “I went to a really f***ing budget wedding recently… One thing that is so important is alcohol but these people served Russian Standard. Social death. It’s like doing something in Shoreditch.”
Priestly Observations
Two Brompton Oratory priests lunching at Colbert on Sloane Square chatted with a fellow diner about the locality. “It’s changed very much lately,” said one. The other added: “I preferred it when there were more ladies like Miss Marple.”
Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
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