The unwanted gift that keeps on giving Richard Madeley, as is always to be expected, sticks his cloven hooves in the proverbial yet again after asking guest to “define what a woman is” and suggesting Will Smith had “a moment of flawed humanity”
On Sunday night in Tinseltown, the woke and the wacky went out to play and in the hours since, the world’s media have gone bonkers over “that slap” that a bloke many of us don’t know much about, Will Smith, gave to another bloke that many of us don’t know much about, Chris Rock.
Unsurprisingly, as could only be expected of the ‘Modern Day Dorian Gray’ that is Richard Madeley – a regular ‘Moron of the Moment’ here on the pages of The Steeple Times since we began publishing in May 2012 – had to share his comments on a matter that frankly simply showed two attention seeking brat-like ‘boys’ not ‘men’ making utter pillocks of themselves.
Of the ‘storm in a teacup’ incident at The Oscars, once accused of shoplifting champagne Madeley surmised: “I do understand it… I’m not justifying what [Will Smith] did but I can see why 50 percent of our viewers think it’s okay. We saw a moment of flawed humanity” whilst most helpfully making clear:
“I was asked by GQ magazine some years ago… [Chris Rock] was the most unpleasant person I’ve ever interviewed of my entire career, and that goes back to 1972 when I started at a local newspaper… I said, without hesitation, Chris Rock. It’s on the record, Chris Rock.”
Turning to another topic, the constant in being a cringeworthy creep invited Angela Rayner onto Good Morning Britain this morning to discuss the scandal surrounding the appointment of the playboy Evgeny Lebedev to the House of Lords at the behest of Boris Johnson.
Instead of focusing on the matter in hand, mindless moron Madeley asked Labour’s Shadow Chancellor:
“Can I ask you a completely different question which is in the air at the moment as you know, almost all politicians of your ilk are being asked here, could you define what a woman is?”
Rayner then responded and put the right rotter in his place by remarking: “I don’t think it is for politicians or commentators to decide” whilst one viewer responded on Twitter: “What an utterly stupid question.”
Pictured top – The pontificating presenter Richard Madeley pictured boozing from a bottle on a doorstep whilst reading a book baring the caption: “There are so many ways to kill a friendship.” Given his continually boorish behaviour, one is left asking: “Does this buffoon actually have any friendships left to end that he hasn’t wrecked already?”
‘King of Cringe’ Richard Madeley’s ‘Finest’ Moments
Many of these have done the rounds before, but mixed in are some new and especially outrageous examples:
On his son’s wedding
“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”
Of his daughter
“Sorry Chloe, but you were an accident and you know it!”
To a male weatherman of his daughter
“My daughter fancies you by the way.”
In conversation with President Clinton
“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”
Of daubing himself in fake tan and turning a “shade of mahogany”
“What happened was at three in the morning I put my daughter’s fake tan on, I was doing a Donald Trump.”
On going commando
“I don’t wear underwear… 30 per cent of blokes don’t wear underwear, it’s not mad.”
Whilst on the lavatory squatting
“You are not filming me urinating. You can listen.”
To an actor who was playing a bisexual
“Would you prefer to have sex with me or Judy?”
Of his and Judy Finnigan’s sexual activities
“When we were trying to conceive, I would douse my balls in icy water before intercourse.”
“Remember when you had thrush, Judy? You had a terrible time of it.”
On Viagra
“It makes everything much longer and return, you know, swiftly.”
Of sex on television
“I don’t think what we see on television is erotic enough.”
Of women
“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”
“Women lie about sex. It doesn’t matter how many partners she says she’s had before you… She’s lying.”
Of alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell
“The sharks are circling; they smell blood in the water… Cynics would say the [FBI] agency is playing a long game, seeking to sway the minds of jurors in advance of Maxwell’s trial next year… Innocent until proven guilty? That honourable credo is in shreds.”
“Firstly, consider the conditions under which Ms Maxwell is being held. They are truly grim… It would take a heart of stone not to feel empathy for another human being suffering what amounts to mental torture. To coin a phrase: you wouldn’t treat a dog like that.”
“But it’s not sadism, or premature punishment ahead of a verdict. No; there’s calculated purpose behind this pitiless regime. But, here’s another prediction… it will. They’re trying to break her.”
On elephants
“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”
After a woman remortgaged her house to fund treatment for her dog
“Is there a point where you just say: ‘Too expensive, the dog has to die?’”
To a man crying after paramedics saved his life
“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”
Showing sympathy for people who died in quicksand in Morecambe Bay
“Yes, what an awful way to die.”
On assisted suicide
“At that point where you just need a little push to go over the edge, I wouldn’t give a two-penny f**k if there was a risk of being prosecuted.”
In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus and lockdowns
“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”
“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”
“We must learn to live with coronavirus.”
“If I had a bell, I would ring it… Only 59 people who have been double vaccinated and without any other serious underlying health problems, died from COVID, out of 50,000 deaths in England, this year.”
“I have to say that the majority of people are surprisingly forgiving [to government representative Steve Barclay], and are actually saying that they understand that the reason for some of the mistakes wasn’t malpractice but scientific ignorance – we didn’t know enough… But on the whole, you seem to be getting away with it – as far as our viewers are concerned.”
Of catarrh
“With men when we get all the catarrh we have it up, like Leo on Titanic… Judy swallows her phlegm.”
Of old women skipping
“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”
Of wanting to be black
“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”
To actress Keira Knightley
“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”
To singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor
“Where did you get your face?”
To mindreader Derren Brown
“Can we have petroleum and a rope? We are burning you at the end of the show.”
To Sex Pistols singer-songwriter John Lydon
“If we could throw a fishing rod into the corridors of time and reel you in, you’d throttle you wouldn’t you?”
To gay Pet Shop Boys singer Neil Tennant
“How’s your wife?”
To a novelist
“If you were going to write an autobiography, who would it be about?”
Of troubled footballer Paul Gascoigne
“He suffers for us. He bears our pain in the most public way possible… Perhaps this has always been Paul Gasgoine’s destiny.”
To a psychiatric patient
“So, Jane, when did you first realise you were quite clearly mad?”
To a group of dwarves
“Do you find that people patronise you? That means that they talk down to you?”
Of an autistic teenager
“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”
To an anorexic teenager
“Five stone? Wow, that’s concentration camp thin, that is.”
To a caller
“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”
And finally and most insensitively, to a young child with leukemia
“Hello baldy.”