Mon Sep 23, 2019 London
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TIPPLE & FARE

Food, drink and fine dining The comings and goings of the culinary classes

Madams and margaritas

The brass of Chelsea

 

Though the characters of Chelsea are changing, the murky world beneath its privileged surface will never disappear.

 

This morning I met with a friend in what I thought was a perfectly respectable hotel. Alongside grandmothers, mothers and business people, was a 42-year old Polish woman who at 10am was onto her fifth margarita.

 

The margarita is plainly the madam's drink of choice
The margarita is plainly the madam’s drink of choice

During the next hours, various ‘ladies’ who were looking for this individual arrived. As she downed yet more margaritas, the conversations became louder and at one point a transvestite joined the Pole to talk about being added to her website. “We’ll give it a month” said the prostitute boss before sending this especially scary looking tranny away.

 

Afterwards the conversation turned to the silicone breasts of some of the other girls at the table and as more margaritas were consumed they spoke of how one of their number died whilst on a ‘job’ and of their dealings with the police. One girl spoke about clients with dirty fingernails and another recounted a night she’d spent with a tramp.

 

Other tales centred upon encounters with footballers and a well-known American actor who had been staying at Claridge’s with his equally famous actress wife. “He used the name Scott Crab” one explained before quipping: “I think he had crabs also”.

 

As I departed, I heard the Polish madam tell one of her brood of broads: “The more blowjobs you give, the faster swelling from Botox disappears”. Even Mrs MILF might have blushed.

 

 

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Comments

1 comment on “Madams and margaritas”

  1. Hilarious!! it reminds me that everytime I went to Annabel ‘s in the recent months , the ladies “powder room” is so swamped with assorted hookers mostly of eastern European extraction; I don’t understand their languages but I am told the conversation invariably revolves around their dirty fat clients and other lurid details of their trade..

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