Classic clangers from the last week
Court time
In a London courtroom, barrister Catherine Bexson overheard counsel ask a witness: “How long have you been married?” The witness answered: “45 years” and was then asked: “How old are you?” “35” came the reply. Counsel asked: “Do you have any concept of time?” “No” responded the witness. Bexson concluded: “And so the long, long day wore on”.
Evading the Woolf
On Twitter, Lady Meyer wrote a cringe worthy endorsement of the Home Secretary. It read: “Another excellent speech by Theresa May: Bold, determined and confident. And note that she never forgets to mention children”. Strangely she made no reference to the Fiona Woolf debacle.
Coasting a drink
Also on Twitter, the GS Elevator Gossip handle posted the following: “Coasters are for people who need to put their drink down”. We say cheers to that.
The cost of Cole
On a train from Whitstable to London a noisy commuter was overheard yelling into her mobile: “I want my pay sent by BACS today. Don’t keep on shutting me up”. Obviously not getting the answer she wanted, she continued: “It’s all about the money honey. If you don’t do it today I’m going go all Cheryl Cole on you”.
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I remember Esra Siebra asking his mother where she would like to go to celebrate her birthday. The old bat replied ” Son, take me somewhere I have never been before” Esra replied, “Mother, try the bloody kitchen”