Overheard – 1st March

Clangers overheard by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

Greed isn’t dead

Anyone who believes the “greed is good” generation is dead would have been shocked by a conversation overheard at MyHotel in Chelsea on Monday. A British businessman sat talking with some Turks and informed them of his plan: “We’ll go to Nigeria… We’ll shake a few hands, have a few drinks, party, party, party. We’ll bother – like we believe it – to be interested in Save the Children, UNICEF, yadah, yadah, yadah… We’ll then walk away and we’ll get the cash. It’ll all be fine and we’ll all end up very rich. They won’t even know we’ve f**ked them until it’s too late and we’re long gone”. Our reader remarked: “He didn’t even bother to say it quietly”.

Trumping the Daily Mail

Reader Musa Tariq heard someone explaining who Donald Trump was to their companion. They summed him up simply and remarked: “Donald Trump is basically like the comments section of the Daily Mail coming to life… And then running for President”.

The spirit of Savile

Two men sat at a bar in Kensington chatting. One asked the other if he was Catholic. “Yes”, came the reply. The first man then enquired about how many brothers the other had and looked strangely delighted when he was told: “Four”. “They’re hot?” was his next question. The somewhat shocked second individual, plainly disgusted, then stated: “They’re aged eight to fourteen”. “Oh…” exclaimed the first man who then added: “Oh yes, they’re definitely hot”. Jimmy Savile would have been proud.

Attraction and vodka

In a café in Tel Aviv, journalist Itay Hod sat next to two women. One curtly told the other: “There’s no such thing as an unattractive guy… If you don’t think he is attractive, the vodka’s simply not strong enough”.

Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here: