Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Defining an Aston
In Cecconi’s in Mayfair, a group of salesmen convened to discuss sales figures. The head honcho told the group: “We’re not selling enough Astons… It’s not because they’re a bad risk, it’s because you don’t understand them so I’ll tell you this: The likes of people who get declined on Ferraris, buy Astons. The demographic of an Aston owner is the same as Bentley. They’re less chav-like than Porsche owners but not as hoity-toity as Rolls-Royce owners”. So there!
Waitrose Chicken
At Pret in South Kensington, a 30-something blonde woman sat with her personal trainer. She told him: “I scanned the Waitrose chicken yesterday. I didn’t know if it was going to help my diet. I just thought it looked rather common. Can I put that in my food diary?” You wouldn’t find her in Aldi.
Conservative Farage
At a bar in Chelsea, a plump woman told her companion: “Fabulous about Donald Trump, isn’t it?” He answered: “Oh yes! Now we can get Nigel Farage back into the Tory fold”. God help us all.
The Sickness of Brexit
“I don’t like the word ‘Brexit’. I don’t like it at all” remarked a vodka drinking gent at the very same bar. “It makes me feel sick. The word that is. It’s a horrible word. That’s all”.
Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
