Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ – including a return of the best interviewee of the 2019 General election, Pat “I object to everything” Mountain
Back to Basics
“In two months, all the Instamodels will be prostitutes and all the Instapreneurs will be criminals. Just like the old days” – A fair analysis posted on Instagram by @OverheardLondon.
How Suitably Existential
In the Evening Standard: “Alexa Chung said: ‘Since all we can do is pretend, I thought I’d dress as a mime.’” Is there nothing this petulant pest won’t do to get attention?
Carrier Bag Distancing
From the ‘Overheard in Waitrose (The Original Group)’ on Facebook: “When shopping in Waitrose, ensure others shoppers stay the recommended two metres away by taking a Lidl carrier bag with you.”
Jared’s A Doll
American comedian Kathy Griffin on Donald Trump’s nefarious son-in-law Jared Kushner on Twitter: “Looks like a blowup doll nobody wants to f**k.”
Cheery Mountains
A Twitter user going by the name of @_teletext to Adam Boulton of Sky News: “Hi Adam. Can you get Pat Mountain back on Sky News for a chat? I think we all could do with cheering up. Cheers, pal.” As the old bat’s likely quarantined for everyone else’s safety for “coronavirus and beyond,” we again share ‘Nan From Catherine Tate’s-lookalike’s’ interview below. Please, please don’t die crying (with laughter).
Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
Pictured top: The “I object to everything” expert on Brexit, feminism, immigrants, “people jumping out of the shadows at night,” racism and “other racist parties,” religion, the “predicament” of Tommy Robinson and just about all else that isn’t milk bottle white, the great “left-behind realist” who “won’t be entering number 10 Downing Street anytime soon” Pat Mountain.
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Pat Mountain gives us old folk a bad name
Send that Sheila Alexa Chung Down Under!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll stop her miming —– I’ll have her moaning instead!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pwoah!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Pat Mountain —– Do not send!!!!!!!!!!!! Euthanasia should be brought back for her sort!!!!!!!!!!!! Policies she believes in fine but she’s got bog trot eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock her in the sewage pit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And let her drown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kathy Griffin – BRILLIANT
Pat Mountain – TRAGIC
Overheard in Waitrose is a bit dull these days. It has become too predictable – just liked Overheard in the Goldman Sachs Elevator did unfortunately.
Pat Mountain – Lock her up!
Kathy Griffin is funny. Pat Mountain is funny in the head.