Branson’s Coffin

Sir Richard Branson’s woes continue to grow as an artist holds a ‘funeral’ for him in a pub in Sidcup, Kent and his sister ends up with a dead body in her swimming pool

The Branson family and most especially its attention loving head, Sir Richard, aren’t having a good time of late.

Aside from losing their rail franchise Branson’s company, Virgin, aren’t getting good publicity about their plans to move into space travel. Yesterday, The Telegraph suggested that IAG chief executive Willie Walsh “joked” about that and reported he commented: “He won’t have much competition [in his space tourism venture]. He’s not very successful when he does have competition.”

Elsewhere, last month, it was revealed that there were three telephone numbers for the self-declared tycoon listed in the now deceased padeophile Jeffrey Epstein’s address book whilst the job killer Branson’s sister, Lindy Branson, also recently found herself in the news. In September, a 25-year-old was found dead in her swimming pool in Menorca.

Amusingly also this week, an artist, Deborah Hodge, held a funeral for a cardboard cut-out of Branson after she decided “their marriage was dead.” Bizarrely, Hodge had “married her 2D husband in 2015,” but had more recently “put “him in a cupboard” after she felt they’d “drifted apart.” Of the ceremony at The Iron Horse pub, the former deputy headteacher told News Shopper:

“I thought it would be appropriate for us to mourn him in a funeral.”

“The mourners wept and wept and the priest, also named Richard, performed the last rites.”

“I wouldn’t be sad if he was dead in real life to be honest – he’s trying to privatise the NHS – but I had a proper relationship with that cut-out.”

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