Creepy Christian Crooner Cliff Richard

As his death is announced, Matthew Steeples joins those hoping that rotten Rolf Harris goes to rot in hell; his innocent victims – as young as just 7 years old – can now have the closure they so deserve.

One-time friend of paedophile Rolf Harris gets panned for his ‘rendition’ of ‘Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree’; Sir Cliff Richard gets called out as a “dinosaur” singing “boring rubbish” reports Matthew Steeples.

As it is revealed Carrie Johnson has been abusive to staff at Chequers, perhaps it is time for her to be told: “Carrie Shouldn’t Live Here Anymore;” this demanding wench along with her hapless husband deserve kicking out of all of their grace-and-favour residences ASAP.

Sanity reigns as Sir Cliff Richard announces “he would no longer be able to pose topless” and will thankfully keep his kit on instead.

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.