Classic clangers from the last week
Muscovite Vodka
“Don’t drink vodka in Moscow” exclaimed a Siberian visitor to London in The Enterprise in Walton Street. “Why?” asked a British racing trainer. The Siberian coolly responded: “Don’t...
‘Team Nigella’ T-shirt spotted in the Saatchi Gallery
On Bank Holiday Monday, visitors to London’s Saatchi Gallery were surprised to see a young man walking around in a T-shirt that bore the caption ‘Team Nigella’....
An analysis of the playground of America’s super-rich
It’s the time of the year when the elite think about heading off to the South of France, Tuscany or in the case of Americans, The Hamptons....
Classic clangers from the last week
The Fawlty waiter
A waiter in a café in South Kensington paid his only customer no attention at all. After a while the customer went up to him and said:...
Classic clangers from the last week
Sharded
A middle-aged British woman lunching in Langan’s in Mayfair was overheard to tell her companion: “It was created by men. It’s had no thought to its design. Oh my...
UKIP leader Nigel Farage isn’t having much luck with his imagery at the moment
In recent days, a picture of Nigel Farage as a punk rocker has been circulated on the Internet. It turned out...
The public should be exposed to the real Katie Hopkins
Last night I met Katie Hopkins. This chance encounter at a party –where I was also briefly and rather randomly introduced to the ex-jailbird Chris...
Classic clangers from the last week
Leaving on a sour note
An American playboy asked his friend: “Other than not joining Al-Qaeda and going to jail, what do you regret?” at The Blue Bar at The...
Classic clangers from the last week
Banker bashing
A banker awaiting trial was overheard in the bar at The Connaught chatting to a financial advisor. He stated: “I invested in a bookies, a hotel in Switzerland....
Classic clangers from the last week
Banking it
A French banker in the clubhouse at Wentworth was overheard to say: “I sold my shares for only $78 million”. One of his two companions failed to look...
Season for rich Arabs to parade in London has begun
The time has arrived; the annual invasion has begun. The streets of Belgravia, Knightsbridge and Mayfair have been taken over by Arabs and each year...
Classic clangers from the last week
Overpaying
Estate agent 1 in Zafferano restaurant was overheard to say: “Let’s have some fun with this… Let’s wreck them. I’m going to play with this. Let’s go in at...
20 questions with mezzo soprano Phoebe Haines
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
My family and friends.
“Don't get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“If...
Greedy politician Maria Miller should resign
Nobody likes greedy, out of touch politicians and in Maria Miller MP this week a fine example has been exposed.
Our Wally of the Week is a woman who wrongly...
Johnny Depp accurately sums up the cult of celebrity
This week whilst promoting his latest film, Transcendence, the actor Johnny Depp stated: “People get famous now for I-don’t-know-what”.
Depp is right. The cult of ‘celebrity’ has...
20 questions with author Merryn Corcoran
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
To complete whatever I begin. At the moment, I’m focusing on launching my current novel The Silent Village in...
James Murphy leaps to the defence of Gwyneth Paltrow
You’ve heard the news: Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘consciously uncoupling’ from Chris Martin. It’s only human to be interested. We are conditioned towards prurience. In the case...
Neil Kinnock is a loathesome oaf
When Neil Kinnock held a celebration prior to the 1992 General Election, he made an utter prat of himself and guaranteed Labour’s subsequent thrashing at the polls. That The...
‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Spencer Matthews spotted sporting a most pretentious baseball cap
In a Chelsea restaurant yesterday, Made in Chelsea’s Spencer Matthews was spotted sporting a baseball cap. Hardly newsworthy but what was ridiculous about...
Two very different society gatherings
Tuesday night in London was a busy one. Gina and Alan Miller’s foundation, Miller Philanthropy, hosted a hugely successful charity concert at the Cadogan Hall, whilst former Mayor of New...
20 questions with Apter-Fredericks gallery manager Alice Freyman
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
At this stage in my life, it is ‘balance’: work, play, family, self.
“Don't get even, get medieval”...
Classic clangers from the last week
Getting placed
Estate agent at the Belgraves hotel in Belgravia to a Russian client: “Marbella… It’s straight down the mountain”. Russian: “Not for me”. Agent: “You could make a lot...
Cougar Monica Porter is a woman who needs to act her age
We’ve nothing against older women dating younger men and Joanna Lumley recently portrayed a fine example in her kiss with Leonardo DiCaprio in...
Classic clangers from the last week
Bridging Knightsbridge
A tourist stopped a shopper outside Harrods and asked: “Where’s the bridge in Knightsbridge?” “There isn’t one” came the reply. “What? Surely that’s a misdescription? Call Trading Standards”.
Dunging...
Twin sisters who forked out £130,000 to look more similar
Twins are sometimes nigh on identical and sometimes aren’t. An Australian pair named Lucy and Anna DeCinque, however, are so obsessed about looking the same...
The strange story of the murder of Barbara Baekeland by her own son
Murders can happen anywhere but Cadogan Square in Chelsea is not somewhere you’d first think of one so strange occurring. In 1972,...
‘Sara Al-Amoudi’ spotted at cocktail party
The woman best known as ‘The Vamp in the Veil’ appeared at a cocktail party last night. ‘Sara Al Amoudi’ – whose identity remains under question despite her High...
Classic clangers from the last week
Firming the butt
On the smoking terrace at The Rib Room Bar, an Arabic lady told her friend: “Cycling: You’ve got to buy a bike… I’ve tired it all but...
20 questions with banker, explorer and author Colonel Paul Bayly
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Life’s too short to miss a good adventure.
“Don't get even, get medieval” is, in our...
Galleries and auction houses circulate list of crashers
It’s official: The gatecrashers of London have their cards marked. The Steeple Times has been given the official list of “suspected gatecrashers” that is being circulated by...
Shamed baroness spotted shopping in Waitrose Belgravia
Our editor expected it unlikely to cross paths with the shamed criminal Baroness Marie-Claire von Alvensleben after her conviction on Wednesday. He was, therefore, more than surprised to...
Classic clangers from the last week
Ferraried
At The Colony Club in Mayfair: Indian 1: “I’ve got a Ferrari luggage set. It only cost £11,000”. Indian 2: Nice. “I’ve got a Ferrari luggage set too. It...
