Tue Oct 15, 2019 London

The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

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Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".


The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.



The economy, politics and current affairs

Money, power and its guiding forces

October 11, 2019

Rock Off

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples slams Rescue Dogs Rock NYC for allowing the wife of the elephant slayer Eric Trump to host its fundraiser Rescue Dogs Rock NYC plainly doesn’t care about anything other than getting itself publicity and grandstanding with individuals that most frankly anyone decent would simply avoid.   In allowing the wife of the sick … Continue reading “Rock Off”

October 7, 2019

Arrest Anne

by Matthew Steeples

Anne Sacoolas should not be able to evade justice simply because she is married to a US diplomat; she should be brought back to Britain immediately argues Matthew Steeples American diplomat’s wife Anne Sacoolas (nee Goodwin), 42, crashed her car on the wrong side of the road at Park End, Croughton, Northamptonshire and killed a … Continue reading “Arrest Anne”

October 5, 2019

Hideous ‘Headmaster Harvey’

by Matthew Steeples

As “kinky ex MP” and lover of canes Harvey Proctor storms out of a BBC interview, he again shows himself as nothing but an arrogant, self-entitled prick Harvey Proctor is a bit like the cat that ate the canary. This self-satisfied wazzock may have been vindicated over the false allegations made by Carl Beech, but … Continue reading “Hideous ‘Headmaster Harvey’”

October 3, 2019

Wally of the Week – Lady Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

Lady Borwick makes a fool of herself on Sky News yet again and shows her lack of knowledge of historical sequence; meanwhile her son finds himself embroiled in the Jennifer Arcuri-Boris Johnson scandal “They seek her here, they seek her there, Sky News seeks her everywhere” seems to be applicable to Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Lady Borwick”

September 26, 2019

Moron of the Moment – Madeleine Grant

by Matthew Steeples

“I don’t hack, I just have a great rack” rent-a-gob Madeleine Grant’s attack on Gina Miller is uncalled for and below the standard of what one expects from ‘The Telegraph’ The Telegraph’s Madeleine Grant uses the nickname ‘Madz’ on Twitter and that moniker definitely reflects her acerbic personality.   Aside from bizarrely describing herself as … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Madeleine Grant”

September 20, 2019

Name & Shame – Mr. Gallows

by Matthew Steeples

Thug who yelled “to the gallows” at Gina Miller needs to be named and shamed Yesterday a mouse-not-a-man shouted “to the gallows” and “build a gallows” at Gina Miller as she left the Supreme Court.     Accompanied by a Burberry clad chav-like woman who was yelling: “Go f**king hang yourself,” this turd-like specimen subsequently … Continue reading “Name & Shame – Mr. Gallows”

September 18, 2019

Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer

by Matthew Steeples

Tedious twerps Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer take to Twitter to berate those who dare criticise deviant liar Boris Johnson Mr. “I wasn’t nice to everyone” Sir Christopher Meyer KCMG was always pompous. His “Chanel-clad” wife always loved a good old charity knees up. Together they morphed into a monstrosity of epic arrogance and together … Continue reading “Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer”

September 13, 2019

The Unkind Kingdom

by Matthew Steeples

As Michael Morpurgo condemns Britain as “nasty,” Matthew Steeples reports from the launch of Alexander Lebedev’s ‘Hunt the Banker’ where the author condemns Brexit also The British, a people once thought of for fair play and decency, have morphed into something “nasty” according to the renowned author Michael Morpurgo.   In an interview published today … Continue reading “The Unkind Kingdom”

September 12, 2019

Liar Boris

by Matthew Steeples

As it is confirmed Boris Johnson lied to the Queen about prorogation of Parliament, it is time for this pathological liar to just go People used to refer to Tony Blair as ‘B.Liar’ but now that moniker can be given to Boris Johnson also.   Johnson has lied to his wives, he’s lied to his … Continue reading “Liar Boris”

September 10, 2019

It’s Not Cricket

by Matthew Steeples

‘Lady Macbeth’ Theresa May’s resignation honour list is symbolic; it is symbolic of cronyism and the toxicity of those she associated with Shahmir Sanni claims not to care that Theresa May gave the man that outed him a peerage. Late last night, he tweeted about how Stephen Parkinson, his ex-lover and SPAD to May, existed … Continue reading “It’s Not Cricket”

September 5, 2019

Bang On Betty

by Matthew Steeples

In spite of her ill health, Betty Boothroyd’s intervention is illustrative that it is not just the young that don’t want Brexit Belgravia resident The Rt. Hon. Baroness Boothroyd OM, PC, Hon. FSLL – better known simply as Betty Boothroyd – is a formidable lady of stature. Known to be a firm but fair speaker … Continue reading “Bang On Betty”

September 4, 2019

The Magic Twenty-One

by Matthew Steeples

As the Conservative Party lurches to become “The Brexit Party (Rebadged)” we salute the twenty-one decent MPs who stood up to Boris Johnson Moderate Conservatism died last night when Boris Johnson childishly chucked out twenty-one MPs who did the right thing and rebelled against the runaway lunacy he was trying to impose on Parliament.   … Continue reading “The Magic Twenty-One”

August 30, 2019

The John & Gina Show

by Matthew Steeples

Gina Miller creates a double act by pairing up with former Prime Minister Sir John Major to stop Boris Johnson proroguing Parliament Yet again Gina Miller has pulled it off. Not only did she yesterday get the High Court to accept that her legal case needed to proceed, but today she slam dunked it and … Continue reading “The John & Gina Show”

August 23, 2019

Name & Shame – The Liar Bird

by Matthew Steeples

Liverpudlian Esther McVey MP  offends the city of her birth by supporting ‘The Sun’ In Liverpool The Sun is banned. In this part of Britain the legacy of how that paper covered the Hillsborough disaster and the death of 96 people is still raw.   Esther McVey MP, born in Liverpool in October 1967, however, … Continue reading “Name & Shame – The Liar Bird”

August 18, 2019

The Duchess of Dimness

by Matthew Steeples

That Sarah, Duchess of York posed for pictures with a man accused of sexual offences at a time when her ex-husband’s links to dead padeophile Jeffrey Epstein are under scrutiny is shocking; that she leaves them on Instagram only further emphasises her stupidity Allegedly summoned to Balmoral last week for a “bollocking” alongside her plainly … Continue reading “The Duchess of Dimness”

August 14, 2019

Moron of the Moment – Dick Braine

by Matthew Steeples

New UKIP leader Dick Braine is deservedly mocked for his unfortunate name, but the reality is that he’s deranged and delusional There are people with unfortunate names – an example being a petrol station manager named Dick Assman (nickname: ‘Assman the Gasman’) – and then there’s Dick Braine.   Software developer and photographer turned politician … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Dick Braine”

August 11, 2019

Ambar’s Antics

by Matthew Steeples

Pavement pest Ambar Zohra just cannot help herself; that she encourages people to threaten others proves how ghastly this little madam truly is Ambar Zohra got herself into trouble by smashing into a pensioner in Walton Street, Chelsea on a mobile weapon known as a ‘pavement scooter.’ This foul-mouthed wench then launched into a tirade … Continue reading “Ambar’s Antics”

August 8, 2019

Hero of the Hour – Sir Nicholas Soames MP

by Matthew Steeples

Churchill’s grandson Sir Nicholas Soames shares wise words just as ‘The Telegraph ’bizarrely tips Ken Clarke as Britain’s next Prime Minister It sadly won’t likely happen, but Sir Nicholas Soames ought to be our next Prime Minister.   Weirdly, this morning, the once great but now the deranged and increasingly right leaning The Telegraph suggested: … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Sir Nicholas Soames MP”

August 6, 2019

A Royal Borough Rotter – Councillor Matthew Palmer

by Matthew Steeples

Conservative RBKC councillor Matthew Palmer exposed as a rotter and hypocrite; he’s even caught campaigning for the Brexit Party A tubby Tory councillor named Matthew Palmer is best known for having mouthed: “Do not let them in” on camera when Grenfell Tower protestors tried to enter Kensington Town Hall in July 2017. This insensitive berk … Continue reading “A Royal Borough Rotter – Councillor Matthew Palmer”

August 3, 2019

Crowdfunding Carole

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times urges readers to support the crowdfunding campaign to help the courageous journalist Carole Cadwalladr see off the nasty piece of work that is Arron Banks This morning, Nigel Farage – after his Brexit Party’s rather pathetic performance in Brecon & Radnorshire on Thursday – was featured in an article in the Daily … Continue reading “Crowdfunding Carole”

August 1, 2019

EXCLUSIVE – Unrestrained Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

Restraint order against businessman James Stunt lifted The media – well, the Daily Mail and The Sun – enthusiastically and somewhat obsessively reported news of a restraint order having being issued against James Stunt.   Unsurprisingly, given their bias against this businessman, they have not, however, seen fit to remark on the fact that this … Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE – Unrestrained Stunt”

July 30, 2019

Justice for Poko

by Matthew Steeples

Evil poachers who killed Poko the elephant have been caught and now face up to seven years in prison Poko, one of four inseparable members of the bachelor herd of elephants in Kasangu National Park in Malawi, was recently massacred by poachers, but the good news is that the two perpetrators have now be caught … Continue reading “Justice for Poko”

July 27, 2019

Perish The Pavement Pests

by Matthew Steeples

Stand-on scooters, whether manual or electric, should be banned; they are nothing but moving deathtraps Stand-on scooters – whether electric or otherwise – should be banned. These devices are utter menaces in public spaces and many now rightly question whether they are safe in any area at all.   Rightly this week, in the wake … Continue reading “Perish The Pavement Pests”

July 21, 2019

Caught On Camera In Chelsea

by Matthew Steeples

Chelsea businesses take to naming and shaming local thieves Two Chelsea businesses sick of thievery in and around their premises have taken the decision to warn others and shame those that have targeted them. In Walton Street, the owners of the charming interiors store Percy Bass display a wall with pictures of local thieves caught … Continue reading “Caught On Camera In Chelsea”

July 2, 2019

Fallen Security

by Matthew Steeples

That a man was able to stowaway in the landing gear of a plane in Nairobi and then fall from it into a Clapham garden is tragic; it highlights airline security is pathetic News last night that the body of a man fell from the landing gear of a Kenya Airways plane smashed into the … Continue reading “Fallen Security”

June 19, 2019

Getting Off Like Gove

by Matthew Steeples

A judge with a sense of humour allowed a class A drug user to walk free on the basis he shouldn’t suffer any more than Michael GoveGetting Off Like Gove – Judge lets off drug user because of Michael Gove Ann Widdecombe will no doubt have spluttered her Kellogg’s Corn Flakes this morning when she … Continue reading “Getting Off Like Gove”

June 16, 2019

Bin Boris

by Matthew Steeples

Sir Max Hastings perfectly sums up the car crash of a man that is Boris Johnson; elsewhere the public say they wouldn’t buy a used car from the wannabe Conservative leader In a quote widely shared on social media, the former editor of the Daily Telegraph, Sir Max Hastings, completely slaughtered his former employee Boris … Continue reading “Bin Boris”

June 11, 2019

Picture of the Week – A Coked Contest

by Matthew Steeples

‘Stop Brexit’ Steve Bray amusingly mocks Michael Gove’s bid to become leader of the Conservative Party; ‘Brexit’ is named ‘Children’s Year of the Word’ With the especially angry columnist Melanie Philips unsurprisingly rounding on Michael Gove over his cocaine taking and The Times Diary mocking him over his choice of the notorious binger on such … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – A Coked Contest”

May 31, 2019

Down in Chelsea

by Matthew Steeples

Property prices significantly down in Chelsea whilst ‘forced sales’ increase With news that house prices have fallen 19% in the Royal Borough since 2014 comes yet more proof that Brexit has taken its toll on the wealthiest area of London.   Aside from that uncertainty, the number of ‘forced sales’ is increasing in the are … Continue reading “Down in Chelsea”

May 23, 2019

We Wish Them Well (Too)

by Matthew Steeples

The Steeple Times echoes the Evening Standard and Gina Miller’s Remain United and urges voters to back the Liberal Democrats today “We wish them well” said former Tory chancellor George Osborne’s Evening Standard of the Liberal Democrats prospects in the European Parliamentary Elections yesterday.   Elsewhere, Gina Miller’s Remain United has urged those able to … Continue reading “We Wish Them Well (Too)”

May 18, 2019

The Fallacy of Farage

by Matthew Steeples

‘Man of the Elite’ Nigel Farage yet again shown in his true colours; that the Brexit Party leader has lived in luxury in Chelsea is not ‘new news’ – we exposed such back in 2017 Whilst Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party will sadly likely trounce all others in the forthcoming European Elections, ‘news’ that he’s been … Continue reading “The Fallacy of Farage”

May 4, 2019

Straightforward Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

As James Stunt attempts to meet his detractors and face a polygraph is hijacked, yet again he proves these people cowards James Stunt’s YouTube videos may go on too long in terms of their lengths for the short-attention span of millennials, but in them he is nothing but honest and direct. Here is someone who … Continue reading “Straightforward Stunt”

“I have a plan, sir”

by Matthew Steeples

That Tony Robinson has quit Labour and branded its leadership “sh*t’ is proof that that party has sunk to a new low “Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunuch’s underpants” said Blackadder and now, with news that Tony Robinson has quit Labour and cited Jeremy Corbyn as a “complete sh*t,” comes confirmation of … Continue reading ““I have a plan, sir””

May 3, 2019

Tantrum Tommy

by Matthew Steeples

That self-serving racist bigot Tommy Robinson has been attacked with milkshakes twice this week serves as poetic justice Tommy Robinson – real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon and also known as Paul Harris, Wayne King, Stephen Lennon and Andrew McMaster –  likes all things milk white. He doesn’t like colour and that he was attacked with milkshakes … Continue reading “Tantrum Tommy”

April 26, 2019

Analysing the F-Word

by Matthew Steeples

Has the ‘F-word’ become acceptable or is it still taboo to utter it? “I’m gonna say one thing: Fuck Trump… It’s no longer down with Trump, it’s fuck Trump!” announced Robert De Niro at the 72nd Tony Awards in June 2018. He received a standing ovation and elsewhere one of the most memorable lines of … Continue reading “Analysing the F-Word”

April 25, 2019

Backing Buckethead

by Matthew Steeples

The only candidate ‘The Steeple Times’ can enthusiastically endorse in the European elections is Lord Buckethead Whilst we wish ChangeUK – The Independent Group all the best, the only candidate The Steeple Times will be endorsing wholeheartedly in the forthcoming European elections is Lord Buckethead – if, indeed, this all-round genius actually decides to run. … Continue reading “Backing Buckethead”

April 24, 2019

Wally of the Week – Ann Widdecombe

by Matthew Steeples

Ann Widdecombe’s decision to become a candidate for the Brexit Party yet again proves her simply to be nothing but nasty The Right Honourable Ann Noreen Widdecombe PC, DSG is a woman who is just about anti everything. She is anti-abortion, anti-drugs, anti-foxhunting, anti-LGBT rights and anti-EU. Now, in announcing she’ll be standing for Nigel … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Ann Widdecombe”

April 20, 2019

Word of the Week – Brexiting

by Matthew Steeples

‘Brexiting’ has finally been defined (and no it’s not just about the relationship between Britain and the European Union) In a post shared recently on his Instagram feed, actor Jake Silbermann provided what could be the most useful definition of ‘Brexiting.’   It read as follows:   BREXITING (verb) /brekziting/   Meaning: Telling everyone at … Continue reading “Word of the Week – Brexiting”

April 13, 2019

America’s First Gay President?

by Matthew Steeples

Could wildcard millennial Pete Buttigieg become America’s first gay President? The son of a Maltese immigrant to America, openly gay and an Afghanistan war veteran Pete Buttigieg (pronounced: “boot-edge-edge”) is someone whose name is likely unfamiliar.   This 37-year-old contemporary of Mark Zuckerberg at Harvard was also a Rhodes scholar at Pembroke College, Oxford and … Continue reading “America’s First Gay President?”

April 11, 2019

The Rat is Caged

by Matthew Steeples

Loathsome hypocrite Julian Assange’s arrest comes seven years too late but is an almighty relief for the British justice system This morning officers from the Metropolitan Police Service finally arrested the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.   Ending this ratbag’s  seven years holed up in the Embassy of Ecuador in London, the Metropolitan Police issued a … Continue reading “The Rat is Caged”

April 9, 2019

A Taxing Question

by Matthew Steeples

Why are the Taxpayers’ Alliance given airtime in the British media when they are not the voice of the taxpayer but instead a lobbying operation for a bunch of rich, shady foreigners? This morning Chloe Westley of the Taxpayers’ Alliance refused to declare how the operation she works for is funded on Sky News.   … Continue reading “A Taxing Question”

April 7, 2019

The Pizza Prat – Andrea Leadsom

by Matthew Steeples

Andrea Leadsom’s “pizza club” is indicative of how low the British political classes have stooped Leader of the House Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom MP appeared on The Andrew Marr Show this morning. In conversation, this strange woman – whose outfit choices recently have included a blazer resembling something that the nonce Stuart Hall would even have … Continue reading “The Pizza Prat – Andrea Leadsom”

March 16, 2019

Vanquishing The Vulgarians

by Matthew Steeples

A rare set of good news; Milo Yiannopoulos gets banned from Australia and Tommy Robinson loses his harassment case   Tommy Robinson and Milo Yiannopoulos are unlikely bedfellows. One’s openly gay and one’s more akin to a football hooligan but what brings them together is their insanity and their racist beliefs.   That these two … Continue reading “Vanquishing The Vulgarians”

March 15, 2019

Shocking Steel

by Matthew Steeples

Lord Steel has proven himself a disgrace; he should be expelled from public life   Lord Steel should be ashamed of himself. He should also be expelled from the House of Lords.     That this former Liberal leader now admits to having known about the crimes of the “perverted brute” paedophile Sir Cyril Smith … Continue reading “Shocking Steel”

March 11, 2019

The Travails of Tom and Theresa

by Matthew Steeples

That condom campaigner Tom Harwood is scaremongering and Theresa May is begging is proof enough that Brexit is on the rocks   Last week, condom campaigner turned Guido Fawkes reporter Tom Harwood was asked on Sky News about what he thought about people stockpiling provisions in preparation for whatever occurs on 29th March. This petulant … Continue reading “The Travails of Tom and Theresa”

March 9, 2019

Let’s NOT Get It Done

by Matthew Steeples

That a “haggard” Theresa May chose Grimsby as a place to make her final speech prior to the final vote on her Brexit deal about sums up what a mess she’s truly gotten us into   There’s nothing redeeming about Grimsby: It’s residents are appropriately called ‘Grimbarians,’ it’s  currently home to the stabbing murderess Jane … Continue reading “Let’s NOT Get It Done”

March 6, 2019

More Belgrade Than Belgravia

by Matthew Steeples

As the Belgravia Shell fuel station is raided and its cash machine robbed, here is another timely reminder of the effects of Theresa May’s cuts   This morning in Ebury Street, Belgravia, the Shell garage closed and turned into a crime scene following by a raid on its cash machine. With the entire area cordoned … Continue reading “More Belgrade Than Belgravia”

March 3, 2019

Failing Grayling

by Matthew Steeples

Transport secretary Chris Grayling has yet again messed up and with news that he has botched the Brexit ferry deal, he must go   “Deeply odd” Chris Grayling MP just cannot get anything right. Rightly branded a “bungling fool,” that this nitwit has effectively handed Eurotunnel £33 million and Seaborne Freight £14 million for doing … Continue reading “Failing Grayling”

March 2, 2019

Cliff Wrongly Rises (Yet Again)

by Matthew Steeples

That Sir Cliff Richard is demanding another £1.5 million from the BBC shows how utterly outrageous he truly is   The ratbag Sir Cliff Richard’s at it again. This monstrous weirdo is now demanding another £1.5 million from the BBC and is again going on about how “heartbroken” he truly is.   This king of … Continue reading “Cliff Wrongly Rises (Yet Again)”

March 1, 2019

Calamity Corbyn

by Matthew Steeples

Jeremy Corbyn has rightly been slammed for not being able to manage his own finances   Jeremy Corbyn is a national disgrace and should not be put in charge of a bus ticket let alone a nation. He slept with Diane Julie Abbott and he supported the IRA; he protected paedophiles in Islington and now … Continue reading “Calamity Corbyn”

February 23, 2019

Actions Have Consequences

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples reminds the Duchess of Sussex, Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebook colleagues that actions have consequences   “If you don’t want something published, don’t write it down” is something that should have been told to both the former Meghan Markle and executives at Facebook.   With both the new Duchess of Sussex and said … Continue reading “Actions Have Consequences”

February 21, 2019

Wally of the Week – Owen Jones

by Matthew Steeples

Jeremy Corbyn apologist Owen Jones yet again proves himself to be nothing but an utter berk suggests Matthew Steeples   All-round Commie and Guardian and New Statesman columnist Owen Jones blocked me on Twitter several years ago. As Vicki Pollard would say: “Did I look bothered?”   That this left-wing prat and author of a … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Owen Jones”

February 18, 2019

Leaving Labour

by Matthew Steeples

That seven MPs have quit the Labour Party sums up how appalling a leader Jeremy Corbyn truly is; the country now has a chance to unite the “politically homeless” but nothing will change unless they don’t bring others from other parties with them   This morning, seven Labour MPs quit the party to sit instead … Continue reading “Leaving Labour”

February 14, 2019

Awful Alison

by Matthew Steeples

Anti-Semitic songwriter and Holocaust denier Alison Chabloz deserves her convictions; may she now disappear forever   Self-professed “revisionist” Alison Chabloz is loathed by her parents and her daughter doesn’t speak to her. This billy-no-mates has supported Ken Livingstone and performed at pro-Palestinian events at the Glossop Labour Club in Derbyshire.   A believer in “a … Continue reading “Awful Alison”

February 8, 2019

A £75k MayBeNOT

by Matthew Steeples

Would anyone be insane enough to pay £75,000 for an evening with Theresa May or £175,000 for a set of posters signed by her?   If you want to hear someone repeat the words “my deal” as many times as possible in a minute, the perfect way would be to buy a night with Theresa … Continue reading “A £75k MayBeNOT”

February 7, 2019

Rolf’s Rotters

by Matthew Steeples

Loopy Lizzie Cornish and pop paedophile Jonathan King leap to the defence of child abuser and playground pest Rolf Harris   Disgraced music mogul Jonathan King is someone who bizarrely believes that the serial killer Dr Harold Shipman – a man who possibly murdered 250 of his patients – may have been a victim of … Continue reading “Rolf’s Rotters”

Nissan IS Leaving

by Matthew Steeples

Crowdfunded advert van campaign used to illustrate the lies told by Brexiteers to those working at Leave.EU’s headquarters   The Vote Leave campaign used its bus to tell lies about the NHS and Brexit and now a crowdfunded advert van campaign is returning their untruthful allegations to them.   Sharing their message loud and large, … Continue reading “Nissan IS Leaving”

February 6, 2019

The Playground Pest

by Matthew Steeples

That the vile paedophile Rolf Harris turned up to wave at children in a school playground is proof that he should be sectioned   They say: “A picture tells a thousand words” and an image of Rolf Harris invading a school playground is one that will shock any rightminded person.   At a time when … Continue reading “The Playground Pest”

February 3, 2019

Losing Labour

by Matthew Steeples

News that a “group of Labour MPs” are set to quit the plainly out-of-touch party to form a “breakaway movement” is positive for Britain; disaffected Tories should follow suit   The Labour Party used to be successful. Like him or loathe him, Tony Blair made this previously unelectable ragbag of rubbish electable and seized on … Continue reading “Losing Labour”

January 31, 2019

The Vile Vazs Strike Again

by Matthew Steeples

Keith Vaz MP’s sister proves herself to be just as grasping as her vile rent-boy loving pervert brother   Most people think rent-a-gob Keith Vaz to be quite bad enough. This Teflon-like creep has taken cash from anyone who’ll hand it over and used rooms in The Washington Hotel in Mayfair to enjoy a bit … Continue reading “The Vile Vazs Strike Again”

Trevor’s Last Quack

by Matthew Steeples

Duck famous for being lonely and the only one on the isolated Pacific island of Niue dies   The death of a duck on an isolated island would not normally arouse much interest but ‘Trevor’ – as he became known (in honour of a New Zealand politician named Trevor Mallard) – was one that was … Continue reading “Trevor’s Last Quack”

January 26, 2019

Finding the Facts

by Matthew Steeples

‘MailOnline’ yet again publishes utter drivel about James Stunt; they should cease their unjustified campaign against this businessman   In The Talented Mr. Ripley, the detective appointed to discover what happened to Dickie Greenleaf states: “In America we’re taught to check a fact before it becomes a fact” and this, indeed, is something that rightly … Continue reading “Finding the Facts”

January 24, 2019

Brainless Borwick

by Matthew Steeples

Lady Borwick yet again puts her foot in it and again defends the senseless ivory trade; shame on her   Poor Borwick! She just cannot help herself. After making a mighty fine fool of her sorry self on the BBC a few Sundays ago, Lady Borwick, it can now be revealed, has yet again come … Continue reading “Brainless Borwick”

January 20, 2019

Drive On Phil

by Matthew Steeples

Public outrage over Prince Philip returning to the road is ridiculous suggests Matthew Steeples   Even the normally anti-PC Jeremy Clarkson has taken up the new popular cause of demanding Prince Philip be retired from the roads.   Yes, the royal had an accident (but one in which nobody was seriously hurt) and yes, he … Continue reading “Drive On Phil”

January 19, 2019

Dreadful Diane

by Matthew Steeples

Diane Abbott proves herself to be nothing but a moaning menace (yet again)   Diane Abbott just cannot help herself. This dreadful harpy of a woman – whom it must be most excruciatingly be remembered once slept with Jeremy Corbyn – appeared on the BBC’s Question Time show on Thursday and is now claiming she … Continue reading “Dreadful Diane”

January 15, 2019

A Doughnut of a Deal

by Matthew Steeples

That Theresa May has resorted to dishing out doughnuts represents what a Dodo her deal truly is   Theresa May reportedly dished out doughnuts this morning as part of her desperate attempt to persuade MPs to back her in tonight’s Brexit deal vote.   With a large box of Krispy Kreme’s being delivered by an … Continue reading “A Doughnut of a Deal”

January 11, 2019

Bruce The Brilliant

by Matthew Steeples

Fiona Bruce shows herself to be a most worthy replacement for David Dimbleby on the BBC’s ‘Question Time’; we need more like her   Fiona Bruce and Philip Mould made for a brilliant double act on the BBC’s Fake or Fortune and now, going it alone, she’s proved her worth yet again in taking over … Continue reading “Bruce The Brilliant”

January 7, 2019

Blessed Borwick’s Back

by Matthew Steeples

Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick makes a fool of herself on the BBC’s ‘Big Question’ as it is revealed that the MP who managed to lose the safe seat of Kensington is ludicrously seeking a comeback   Yesterday morning, Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick nodded her head on the BBC’s The Big Questions as another … Continue reading “Blessed Borwick’s Back”

January 6, 2019

Charitable Stunt

by Matthew Steeples

James Stunt shares a surprisingly charitable video message in response to the ‘Daily Mail’s’ Alison Boshoff’s attack on his ex-wife Petra Ecclestone’s engagement to Sam Palmer reports Matthew Steeples   When, yesterday, I came across a Daily Mail article complete with a ridiculously long title that read: “Dirty rotten scoundrels who bagged Britain’s richest sisters: … Continue reading “Charitable Stunt”

December 27, 2018

Brazen Brexit Bozo Ben

by Matthew Steeples

Former granny escort boy and ‘Big Brother’ contestant Ben Duncan makes an utter twerp of himself (yet again); this supporter of the far right Traditional Britain Group is nothing but a berk   Yesterday, in a 1:20 minute video clip posted on Twitter, ‘Our Future, Our Choice’s’ chief spokesperson Femi Oluwole made an utter prat … Continue reading “Brazen Brexit Bozo Ben”

December 26, 2018

Gertrude Bell did NOT live here

by Matthew Steeples

Should there be a blue plaque in honour of the controversial explorer Gertrude Bell in Cadogan Square in spite of the fact she did not actually “live” there?   Today, in The Guardian, arts correspondent Mark Brown reported on the controversy that has arisen as a result of English Heritage deciding it appropriate to approve … Continue reading “Gertrude Bell did NOT live here”

December 25, 2018

Happy Christmas 2018

by Matthew Steeples

‘The Steeple Times’ wishes readers a very merry Christmas and hopes for better times in 2019   Without doubt, 2018 has been what Her Majesty The Queen would have called an “annus horribilis.” Aside from the shitshow that has been Theresa May’s disastrous Brexit negotiations, greats like Jim Bowen, Aretha Franklin and Baroness Trumpington died … Continue reading “Happy Christmas 2018”

December 21, 2018

Baloney and Barrymore

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples suggests it is right that Michael Barrymore’s payout from the police is reduced from £2.4 million to a “nominal” sum and suggests ITV develops a moral compass in regard to helping him achieve a comeback   In recent days, in some quarters, there has been outrage that the “entertainer” Michael Barrymore lost the … Continue reading “Baloney and Barrymore”

December 17, 2018

A Victory for Babar

by Matthew Steeples

IFAW secure a ban on the sale of most items of ivory in the UK with the assistance of Michael Gove MP and ‘Fake or Fortune’s’ Philip Mould   Elephants love Wednesday, and so will you. Elephants remember Wednesday as if it was only Tuesday. Anthony T. Hincks, author.   Last week, the International Fund … Continue reading “A Victory for Babar”

December 16, 2018

Leave Ambulances Alone

by Matthew Steeples

Brexiteers in yellow vests shockingly take pride in blocking an ambulance from Guy’s and St Thomas’ hospital on Westminster Bridge   Yesterday, Leave.EU’s official Twitter account proudly shared a video of Brexiteers in yellow vests blocking the road on Westminster Bridge.   Aside from declaring that “this is what happens when the establishment ignores the … Continue reading “Leave Ambulances Alone”

December 15, 2018

Stunt slays bin Salman

by Matthew Steeples

Matthew Steeples salutes James Stunt for taking to social media to call out the crown prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed bin Salman over the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi   James Stunt is a gentleman not afraid to mince his words and now, using the power of social media, he has taken to Instagram and YouTube … Continue reading “Stunt slays bin Salman”

November 27, 2018

Creepy Cliff

by Matthew Steeples

Christian crooner Cliff Richard yet again gets given a platform to spin a yarn (or fifteen) on ‘Loose Women’ – how utterly gross   On Tuesday, Cliff Richard announced “he would rather ten sex offenders escape than one innocent man suffer” on that pillar of revoltingness that is ITV1’s Loose Women.   “Outrage” rightly ensued … Continue reading “Creepy Cliff”

November 22, 2018

Deal? What Deal?

by Matthew Steeples

Theresa May comes under attack from all sides in Parliament as Speaker Bercow calls “mostly hardline Brexiteers”   On Wednesday in Parliament, the nigh on friendless glaring vicar’s daughter Theresa MaybeNOT attempted to persuade MPs that she has managed to broker an “absolutely clear” Brexit deal.   Near to her sat Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom bizarrely … Continue reading “Deal? What Deal?”

Marvelous Melvyn

by Matthew Steeples

Veteran political heavyweight Melvyn Bragg lays into Brexit, David Cameron, Jeremy Corbyn and Sir James Dyson   In an interview in The House magazine, Lord Bragg spoke complete sense in condemning the madness of the current British political scene.   Remarks included:   “I’m looking forward to getting hold of [David Cameron’s] book, I can … Continue reading “Marvelous Melvyn”

November 21, 2018

Curious Carole

by General

Cambridge Analytic and Arron Banks investigator Carole Cadwalladr interview turned into a must listen podcast   The fascinating and shocking investigation by journalist Carole Cadwalladr has been turned into a podcast.   Publishesd in The Guardian as part of their ‘Today in Focus’ series, the 24:13 minute interview, presented by Anushka Asthana, is a must … Continue reading “Curious Carole”

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