As Prince Harry brings Pizza Express up in legal proceedings against Mirror Group Newspapers, shouldn’t the chain be given a royal warrant given Prince Andrew used it as an alibi also?
As the Duchess of Sussex gets busy with ‘lemon olive oil cake’ for a new cookery book and revives ‘The Tig’ also, one is left wondering if she’ll collaborate with Elizabeth Arden and promote ‘todger cream’ as well.
As McDonald’s attracts mockery for placing a “darkly comical” advert for their McCrispy sandwich next to a crematorium sign in Cornwall, we discover a journalist enthusiast for the processed chicken product who even wears McDonald’s branded leisurewear.
As Pan Macmillan issue a “safety statement” over ‘gender X’ harpy Jack Monroe’s patronising-the-poor book ‘Thrifty Kitchen,’ Matthew Steeples suggests they’d do better to recall it and pulp it.
The elevation of busybody-bore and all-round grim grifter Jack Monroe by ‘The Grocer’ represents a pinnacle in pointlessness claims Matthew Steeples; Keith Floyd this lentil loving loon certainly ain’t.
How can the pugnacious pensioner Sir Cliff Richard be spending Christmas Day making gravy ‘live’ in London with queue jumpers Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield when he also claims to be spending it in Fort Lauderdale, Florida also?
Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up.
In patronising the poor, bombastic bully and bore Jack Monroe yet again shows her truly nasty colours; here is a pontificating pillock who helps utterly nobody (apart from her not-so-sorry self).
As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?
