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Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’

Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey

As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?”

 

Last May, the acerbic Spectator columnist Taki wrote a brilliant opinion piece bemoaning the ghastly affair he believed New York’s Metropolitan Museum Gala had become. It perfectly summed up the vulgarity of an age where Kardashians have replaced Vanderbilt Sloanes and where Anna Wintour and her condescending ‘club’ have seized the mantle. This week, Primates of Park Avenue author Wednesday Martin took the debate one stage further and asked: “Is it time to say bye-bye to the black tie charity ball?” in an article for Town & Country magazine.

 

Whilst Martin quoted a “titan of finance” as saying: “No one really wants to attend a gala”, she also suggested that “showing up feels somehow retro, tangible, genuine”. Society is still forced into the routine of putting on black tie and parading out in both America and Britain yet in reality, everyone would most likely rather be down their local spit-and-sawdust.

 

Aside from the rubber chicken (and vomit inducing wine), the likelihood of being stuck with nine crushing bores and the inevitable raffle of rubbish, such affairs are now mostly the preserve of a club of Z-listers and desperados. At such gatherings, you’ll find trolleyed trailer trash like Dawn Ward of The Real Housewives of Cheshire clucking with titleless tosspot twits like David Furnish and each and every Friday’s ES Magazine bears testimony to this fact. The black tie bash deserves to come to its natural end, but what on earth will replace it?

 

The inevitable rent-a-crowd that now dominates at black tie gatherings in Britain these days is focused on daytime TV presenters and obscure reality wannabes
Tamara Ecclestone and husband Jay Rutland (pictured with Donna Air behind them) might be moneyed, but where’s the class?
Stephen Fry and husband Elliott Spencer are a duo willing to turn up to the opening of an envelope
If you really want to lower the tone, invite champagne swiller Dawn Ward and her ex-footballer husband
Alexa Chung is the ultimate guest if you want to make it to the ‘ES Magazine’s’ party pages (in spite of the fact she’s actually pretty pointless)
No party is complete without legendary crasher and shopping aficionado David Pun; last night he was spotted lingering outside the entrance to the opening night of the 2017 London Motor Show and given his antics he even has a Twitter account named in his honour
Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey used to host an annual ball in their garden; their marriage is now toast and the ball, for them at least, is most definitely over
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