Eugene Carokis: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

The Steeple Times asks shipbroker Eugene Carokis: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

Gordon Gekko.

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

Don’t waste time being unhappy.

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2013?

Women who behave in a slutty fashion. Barrack Obama is also utterly unacceptable.

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

Being able to do nothing.

What might you swap all your wealth for?

Nothing since I don’t have any wealth.

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?

Don’t blame the fat cats.

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

“Are you successful?”

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

I am not a big fan of charity.

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

Use them only when you need to.

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

An alien.

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

In a nice taverna on a nice Greek island. I’d like an octopus salad.

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

If it is a Saturday, 11am.

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A Martini Bianco.

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Random house parties are the best because you meet nice, random girls.

Who is the most positive person you know?

I don’t know any positive people and that is the problem.

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Dirty talking.

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

An “E” for Eugene.

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

A 1983 Porsche Turbo.

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

I am always surprising.

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

I don’t have a f***ing mantelpiece.

Eugene Carokis is not on Facebook or Twitter and he is also unable to provide any weblinks.