Classic clangers from the last week
The Fawlty waiter
A waiter in a café in South Kensington paid his only customer no attention at all. After a while the customer went up to him and said: “Look, can’t you take an order? I have been waiting now for quite a while and you just ignore me. Have you ever considered that you may not be right in the service industry? He turned to her and snarled: “What do you want me to do? Smile?” A suitable candidate to work at Fawlty Towers maybe?
Handbagged
A Chanel-clad lady stood admiring the bags in Anya Hindmarch whilst her bored husband looked on with utterly no interest. When the price was revealed by the assistant, the husband piped in and stated: “No way are you having that. It’s too expensive”. The shop assistant answered: “A Wallis Simpson quote comes to mind: ‘If you can afford it, then there is no pleasure in buying it’”.
Out Thatchered
As a pearl wearing old lady shopped in Waitrose Belgravia, a Russian woman approached her and asked: “Are you Margaret Thatcher?” Unflinching in her response, the lady answered: “Do I look like The Iron Lady? I’m honoured” and picked up a bottle of whisky. “This’ll have to me by tipple today then”. As she toddled off to the till, the Russian commented: “What a legend”.
Big is better
An American tourist walked into an art gallery in Walton Street after admiring a Lichtenstein in the window. He asked the gallerist about the screenprint and its price before commenting: “It seems a bit expensive”. The seller responded: “Didn’t Lichtenstein once say: ‘In America the biggest is the best’? Our price reflects that. Over to you”.
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