Classic clangers from the last week
Wagyu and derrières
Outside Nozomi in Beauchamp Place, Knightsbridge on a damp January night two American trustafarians chatted over a cigarette. The first commented: “Did you hear about the Wagyu beef scam?” The other, a rather puzzled blonde, shook her head so her companion continued: “I read about it in Forbes. Most of it is as faux as Kim Kardashian’s derrière”. “Right”, answered the other, “we won’t be having any of that then”.
History and the Hamptons
Shared by the legendary @GSElevator account on Twitter: “#1: Your place in history depends on what you do for others, not what others do for you. #2: I want a place in East Hampton, not history”. How very waspish.
Bad martinis
In the bar at Claridge’s an American discussed the merits of drinking with his English friend. His best advice was simple: “Bad people drink bad martinis”. That’s the kind of advice not to ignore.
Islington ducks
The website ‘Like to Discover’ has shared ten of the best “Overheard in Waitrose” comments. The ultimate one has to be from a lady buying bread in one of their stores. An employee heard her telling her daughter: “Jemima, you’ll have to take the rosemary off the focaccia before we feed the ducks, darling…. They can’t digest it!” Peter Mandleson would be proud: New Labour’s legacy is secure.
The Rich Kids of Waitrose
Another comment on the site comes from the Hove branch of Waitrose and sounds like something that would be uttered by one of the Rich Kids of Instagram. The shopper was overheard to remark: “I can’t believe there are children here. Are we in Asda?”
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I did not suck on that mans Hampton!