Classic clangers from the last week
Lamparding comedy
In the Pret sandwich shop in Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road, two tramps sat chatting about their visits to Holy Trinity Brompton. Of the vicar, one was overheard to say: “He’s like Frank Lampard when it comes to comedy. He scores once in a while but it’s every now and then. It’s sweet but he employs humour a little too much. Maybe he’ll clear off to New York too”. An own goal in the making?
Out with the old
In Wisconsin, reader Claire Douglass overheard some tourists discussing visiting Europe. As they leafed through a guide book, one commented: “I don’t need to go to the 16th century chapel as I’ve already been to The Bellagio in Vegas. I saw it there”. The same person probably would also ask the Queen: “Why did they build Windsor Castle underneath a flight path?”
Nipping buds
In London’s Kings Road, reader Ahmed Khalil listened to two men in their eighties chatting. One stated: “Oh yes, Lady *****. My summer house backs onto her garden. She’s a lamentable kleptomaniac. Near nipped the buds at the flower show last year”. The perils of being a member of the Chelsea set.
Damaging the South Coast
In a café in Bloomsbury, reader Janet King overheard a builder and his wife discussing their forthcoming holiday in Worthing. Tired of hearing the details of their radical travel schedule, the man piped up and announced: “I can’t decide who’s done the most damage to the South Coast. It’s a toss up between the Luftwaffe, Harry Redknapp and Liverpool FC”. Let the debate commence.
Buying a train
Reader Imtiaz Mahmood overheard two Saudis chatting. One told the tale of a Saudi Prince who went to Germany to study. “After a month”, stated the first, “he wrote to his father saying that he liked Berlin, the people were friendly and he was really enjoying his studies”. He continued: “The only thing that was wrong was that he felt embarrassed turning up to school in his gold Mercedes when all the teachers and students came by train. You know what happened? Two weeks later a letter arrived from his father with a cheque for $10,000,000. The letter read: ‘Don’t feel embarrassed son. Go buy yourself that train’. And he did”. So much for the simple student life.
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