Classic clangers from the last week
Tipping the point
“We want a table outside”, an Arab who’d just got out of a Ferrari outside of La Brasserie in South Kensington at 11.55pm was overheard to state. “We close in 5 minutes”, a waiter politely replied. “Don’t you understand?” answered the Arab: “We’re rich and we want food”. “No, we’re closing”, the waiter answered. “Are you stupid? Our tip would be £500” the Arab continued. No table was forthcoming.
The vote
“Voting to elect a political party is like choosing what colour your rapist wears” stated Imtiaz Mahmood on his Facebook page: “You’re still getting fucked” he continued.
Fishing the Salmond
“Alex Salmond is a trout” suggested a Scot after watching him debate with Alistair Darling. “He’s all bones and there’s no flesh to him”. An Englishman answered: “You’re right. He’s fried, poached and grilled also”.
Valuing sex
“Shagging you is about as much fun as smoking a second rate joint” said a doctor in South Kensington to his on-off girlfriend. “The only benefit is that you’re free”. She threw her glass of wine at him and departed.
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