Gordon Brown’s benefits from having been Prime Minister exposed
Gordon Brown was undoubtedly one of Britain’s worst Prime Ministers. He was also the Chancellor who gave away our gold and a man known for his appalling temper and one who upset little old ladies. Now that Guido Fawkes has revealed the truth behind where the money passing through his office has gone, the nation has a clearer picture of the reality behind the fiction of his so called “charitable nature”.
On Friday, Guido Fawkes revealed that the office of Gordon and Sarah Brown has raised over £3 million since leaving Mr Brown left Downing Street “to support charitable projects yet has given less than £1 million to charity”. Fawkes also highlighted that Brown’s expenses have run at over £10,000 per week and in doing so that this self-styled “dour Scot” isn’t quite the penny pincher we all assumed him to be.
Though Brown is not nearly in the league of Tony Blair in terms of his earnings and extravagance, this new side to him is quite a revelation. Why anyone would pay him up to £124,000 for a speech escapes us however: Ruben Vardanian, the co-head of Troika Dialog and Sberbank CIB, must be beyond bonkers.
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Willie Mae “Big “Mama” Thorton and the Johnny Otis band’s 1954 hit “I smell a Rat” was a delightful tune on the Peacock label. The story was as follows;
A man was looking around a small gift shop when he came across an amazingly ugly statue of a rat. As he was staring at this statue, the shopkeeper came up to him and began to speak.
“Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your interest in the statue. It’s only five dollars, sir, but the story behind it will cost you fifty.” The man turned back around and looked in shock.
“Let me get this straight. If I buy the statue and the story behind it, I’ll be paying fifty-five dollars. But if I can bear to live without the story, I’ll only pay five?” The Shopkeeper grinned and nodded. Not believing what a bargain he’d got, the man quickly paid and walked out of the store.
A few moments later, he noticed that a lone rat was following him. He shrugged, and ignored the rodent, hoping it would leave. When he looked back again, some five minutes later, he saw that the number of rodents had grown to maybe fifty rats. A little nervous, he turned back to his path and continued walking.
When he looked around the third time, he saw thousands of rats following him. Horribly frightened, the man rushed to a dock overlooking the ocean and threw the statue as far out to sea as he possibly could. The rats followed the statue, sinking into the waves like stones.
The man then rushed back to the shop, elated, panicked, and still in shock. When he burst through the door, the shopkeeper gave a little chuckle. He had a smug grin on his face as he said, “I expect you’ve come back to buy the story.” The shopkeeper held out his hand for the fifty dollars.
The customer looked confused for a second, then said. “Heck no! I want to know if you’ve got a statue of a politician!”
This is my proposal to Ruben Vardanian, I will perform a Benny Hill impression and throw inn a song and dance for good measure for the cost of only two Krugerrands. I doubt Gordon Brown can do any better.