Friday, November 22, 2024

Five of the best: Here comes the sun

Section:
THE FOG

The Steeple Times suggests five things to bring cheer to Julian Assange’s grey existence

 

The fugitive Julian Assange will have been in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London for exactly one year tomorrow, the 19th June 2013. Last week Ecuador’s foreign minister, Ricardo Patino, commented:

 

“We believe he has a fundamental right to sunbathe. His right to intimacy, mobility, a normal life and health is being restricted”.

 

Here we suggest five of the best things that could be sent to help him in his quest for sun, cheer and intimacy:

 

‘PJ’s Passion’ cocktail

PJ's cocktail 350Julian Assange is supposedly a passionate man so the polo inspired bar and restaurant PJ’s on London’s Fulham Road have created a martini that could help him imagine he’s on the polo fields of the central Ecuadorian Andes. Fill a martini glass with ice, add 25ml crème de peche, turn ice slowly and add ¼ squeezed grapefruit. Add 45ml Hendricks gin, revolve ice around slowly, double strain into a frosted martini glass and garnish with a frozen glazed peach and grapefruit twist. Cheers!

 

Jail striped swimwear by aussieBums

aussieBums swimwear 350

Australian citizen Mr Assange supposedly enjoys spending time on a sunbed in the Ecuadorian embassy in Hans Crescent, SW3. A pair of aussieBums “low riding” swimming trunks in an op-art black and white pattern would be ideal for this activity. The company suggest that the product makes a man “get sexy – get low” and a pair could be had for just £33.21.

 

Swedish meatballs from IKEA

Ikea meatballs 350Sweden wish to extradite Julian Assange on allegations of rape. In case he has to go, IKEA could deliver some of their famous meatballs and prepare him by giving him what they call: “A taste of Sweden”. £3.89 for 10 or £5.79 for 20, they come served with mashed potatoes, a cream sauce and lingonberry jam. Delicious.

 

Banana Boat® Ultra Defense® Lotion Sunscreen

Banana Boat sunscreenA banana boat, in our view, would be the best way to spirit Mr Assange out of the UK. Instead, if he does get the right to spend some time on a balcony (and if indeed the sun ever shines again in the UK), he could do with some sunscreen. This aptly named product would suit him just perfectly.

 

Liberty X’s Thinking It Over

Liberty X 350Julian Assange probably wants his liberty back so whilst he’s waiting perhaps he could listen to Liberty X’s Thinking It Over. Maybe he could Dream About It (Just A Little) or perhaps he’ll decide to Feel The Rush to head out and hand himself to the police waiting outside in Hans Crescent.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here.

The Steeple Times
The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
If you value the work that The Steeple Times does then support us at a level you can!

2 COMMENTS

  1. He’s cost this country £4 million already. He deserves nothing other than a one way ticket to Sweden.

    • I absolutely agree. He reneged on those who supported his bail. A disgusting man in every sense.

Comments are closed.

OTHER RELATED NEWS

Enough Is Enough – The Madeleine McCann Case, Its Unspoken Secrets & Why Operation Grange Needs To End Now

Jane Monckton suggests enough is enough and argues it is time to close the investigation into the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann; focus funding instead on other missing people who can more likely be found.

Who Did Jeffrey Epstein & Ghislaine Maxwell Sex Traffic Their Victims To? Unsealing of Epstein Documents, New Book About Maxwell

As 200 pages of transcripts about the 2006 investigation into paedophile Jeffrey Epstein are unsealed, a new book – released Thursday – examines “who is permitted to speak” about sexual abuse by an abuse victim present at mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s 2021 trial; One key question still remains tellingly unanswered: “Who did these two monsters actually sex traffic their victims to?”

Talking Claudia Lawrence – ‘Crime Suspect’ on Talk TV 2024

Matthew Steeples on discussing the disappearance of Claudia Lawrence fifteen years ago in York on TalkTV’s ‘Crime Suspect’ with esteemed former detective Peter Bleksley.

Monster of the Moment 2023 – Twittering Troll Alex Belfield

As former BBC host Alex Belfield is forced to apologise to the BBC host Jeremy Vine, we call out this reprehensible ratbag for his raging rant against the victim of rape-murder at the home of Michael Barrymore, Stuart Lubbock.

Moron of the Moment 2023 – Twittering Titanic Twerp Ash Sarkar

In mocking the five people who’ve tragically died in the Titanic submersible tragedy, Jeremy Corbyn supporting Commie Ash Sarkar simply shows herself to be a braindead berk.

Media Matters Mark Alexander – High Court Victory For Sir Terry Waite Supported Prisoner

As humanitarian hero Terry Waite is knighted, a prisoner he has campaigned in support of, Mark Alexander, finally gets good news with a landmark judgment at the High Court.

Matthew invites you to a central London DINNER & DISCUSSION on the 6th of November, in person with Matthew and an amazing guest speaker. Book Today £85

BOOK BELOW
3,573FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
16,731FollowersFollow
4,962SubscribersSubscribe

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

SupportSupport

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

Trending Now

Put Them Out To Pasture… Ghislaine Maxwell Apologists & ‘The Telegraph’ Agony Aunt Rachel Johnson & Agony Uncle Richard Madeley

EDITORIAL
Matthew Steeples suggests that with new ownership looming, it is time for ‘The Telegraph’ to put Ghislaine Maxwell apologists agony aunt Rachel Johnson and agony uncle Richard Madeley out to pasture.

Meddling Mandelson & Mucky Maxwell – Peter Mandelson should NOT be Britain’s next ambassador to the US

EDITORIAL
Matthew Steeples suggests the late Jeffrey Epstein’s close chum, meddling ‘Prince of Darkness’ Peter Mandelson, to be totally unfit to be British ambassador to the US.

Enough Is Enough – The Madeleine McCann Case, Its Unspoken Secrets & Why Operation Grange Needs To End Now

THE FOG
Jane Monckton suggests enough is enough and argues it is time to close the investigation into the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann; focus funding instead on other missing people who can more likely be found.

Steeples Says – Matthew Steeples On Trending Topics, 12th November 2024

EDITORIAL
Matthew Steeples quick-fires his views on 10 trending topics of the moment; from Labour’s attack on farming to J. K. Rowling and gender.
Load more

Most Popular Articles

The Phil & Matt Show

Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph...

Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.

Was Mucky Minx Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?

As author Kirby Sommers suggests that the then Meghan Markle likely spent time with Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein before she met Prince Harry, we again highlight the mucky, murkiness and mendacious manner of this alleged “yacht girl.”

SchofieldLite

‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship...

Meddling Meghan Markle Expose – Attwood, Hopkins & Steeples

Expose interview with Matthew Steeples by Shaun Attwood and Jennifer Hopkins about the former Meghan Markle watched over 73,000 times in 16 hours since it aired; Steeples condemns hapless Prince Harry and his meddling menace wife.

Ampika Pickston

Oldham born divorcee and former glamour model Ampika Pickston describes herself as “feisty, fun loving and warm hearted”. Now based in Hale Barns, Cheshire...

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Nasty NestSeekers

Entitled Hamptons brat Jonathan Davis exposed for allegedly squatting in Sag Harbor during the coronavirus lockdown; it turns out he’s a realtor with NestSeekers.
Load more

Follow With Social Media

Subscribe to our newsletter

Established in 2012

©

2024

THE STEEPLE TIMES │ ALL RIGHT RESERVED

Design: Art Science and Commerce