Angry magnifying glass carrying pensioner Tony Crook complains about “pensioners’ portions” of fish and chips being “obnoxious” in Barnard Castle – the land of Dominic Cummings’ famous eye test outing in 2020
Barnard Castle will go down in history for being the place Dominic Cummings drove to in order to test his eyesight during the first national lockdown last March. Now, it’s hitting the headlines again and this time because of a fish and chip shop’s decision to serve “miniscule” portions.
Featured in the Angry People in Local Newspapers group on Facebook, one Tony Kelly of Crook, County Durham wrote to The Northern Echo to bleat about what he termed “so-called ‘pensioners’ portions’” of fish and chips last week.
Referencing that he’d been to a fish and chip shop with two friends – which would, of course, currently be a fineable act if it occurred during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – Mr Kelly monotonously moaned:
“We asked for pensioners’ portions. When they came, the quality was decent enough but the quantities were minuscule. You just about needed a magnifying glass to see the fish.”
“We went to the place hungry and came out even hungrier. Pensioners’ ruddy portions indeed.”
David Icke wannabe Mr Kelly, like his fellow eye-for-detail obsessive Dominic Cummings, has previous. In May 2019, this puerile pensioner extolled fluoride in North Eastern drinking water as “wholesome and beneficial” whilst in October 2018, he strangely suggested “grossly disturbed strata” would increase “the probability of earthquakes” in his neighbourhood.
Man-of-multiple-missives Tony Kelly’s latest letter follows in full:
AS a regular reader of Thursday’s ‘Eating Out’ page – but no expert when it comes to cafés – I’d like to warn other elderly readers about so-called ‘Pensioners’ portions.’ I’ve only ever tried them once and never again.
It was in Barnard Castle in a fish and chip shop, where I’d gone with two friends. Trying to err on the side of moderation, we asked for pensioners’ portions.
When they came, the quality was decent enough but the quantities were minuscule. You just about needed a magnifying glass to see the fish.
We went to the place hungry and came out even hungrier.
Pensioners’ ruddy portions indeed.
There seems to be an entrenched attitude in some quarters that you can fob old people off with anything – an attitude that is no less obnoxious for being more and more prevalent.
Tony Kelly, Crook.
I bet when Tony Kelly walks into his local pub/shop/garage/restaurant/garden centre/etc, everyone else dives for the hills.
He actually wrote about a rat coming up his bog! He is plainly clinically insane.